Spam, the canned meat - not the annoying email - has always been very, very popular in the state of Hawaii. So much so, in fact, that it is now being stolen repeatedly and sold on the black market for what officials believe is drug money.
Some thieves just sell it out of their cars.
The shoplifters get the stolen goods for free, so they are able to make a 100 percent profit reselling them.
Retail Merchants of Hawaii some stores require customers to call a clerk when they want their Spam. Others keep it up front under the watchful eyes of the cashiers. Canned beef is also a hot item for thieves because it can fetch $5-6 a can.
The state’s love affair with Spam began during World War II and Hawaii was a war zone during the war. They had government mandated blackouts, food rationing and food restrictions, which they felt the pressure of even more because they were away from the mainland. Rationing created just the right conditions for the rise of a meat that needs no refrigeration and has a remarkably long shelf life.
Ann Kondo Corum, who grew up in Hawaii in the 1950s and has written several Spam-inspired cookbooks, has attributed Spam’s popularity partly to Hawaii’s large Asian population. Spam was one of those scarce food rations and it was something that Hawaiians lived on during the war. There's even a name for it: Spam currency.
I like Spam and have eaten many a Spam sandwich in my day. When sliced thinly, it is comparable to bacon and goes well with breakfast.
The News As I See It: In the past week, several prominent men have been fired for sexual harassment and it’s being called "The Harvey Effect." Of course, none of them will see any jail time and that’s being called "The Cosby Effect."
Red Lobster announced that it will start delivering its food in New York City through a partnership with Grubhub. Yeah, because if there’s one thing that will make crappy discount seafood even worse, it’s 20 minutes on the back of a bike.
Developers are working on a hyper loop that could get you from Washington, D.C., to New York City in just 29 minutes. And once you are here, you can take a subway from Penn Station to Times Square in just four hours.
This Date In History: 1787; The first of the Federalist Papers, which called for the ratification of the U.S. Constitution, was published. 1904; New York City's first rapid transit subway, the IRT, opened.
1938; Du Pont announced that it would name its new synthetic yarn nylon. 1978; Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for their work toward a Middle East accord.
1997; The Dow Jones industrial average fell 554.26 points, forcing the stock market to shut down. 2004; After an 86 year wait, the Boston Red Sox finally captured a World Series trophy.
Picture Of The Day: The charm of Spam. I offtimes buy but usually it gets pushed to the back ground, That us, of course, until Mother Hubbard's Cupboard becomes a bit bare and you espy your secret little treasure that will provide for a hearty sandwich......
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat right next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?" 2) You don't know what real fear is, until you've been cornered by a Mariachi band playing a rendition of Hotel California. 3) When I was a kid, I suffered from depression. My teacher suggested that my father take me to the zoo. He did, but I found my way home. 4) Remember, lust is not real love and Domino's is not real pizza, but both are fine when you're drunk. 5) I remember the day when my ex-wife and I decided not to have children. The kids took it pretty hard.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Scorpio - October 27th: You may hear a voice in your ear saying that you are here for a purpose. Don't pay any attention to the voice, they meant to say porpoise. That is, unless you're from Miami, in which case, take heed.
Birthdays: James Cook, explorer and navigator 1728, Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president 9f the United States 1858, Emily Post, etiquette writer 1873, Dylan Thomas, poet 1914, Roy Lichtenstein, painter 1923, Sylvia Plath, poet 1932, John Cleese, actor 1939, Roberto Benigni, actor and filmmaker 1952.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An older man went to a job interview. The Human Resources manager asked him, "What is your greatest weakness?" The man replied, "Honesty."
The Human Resources manager said, "I don't think honesty is a weakness." The older man said, "I don't really give a shit what you think."
A priest was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.
The priest asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection and a little boy raised his hand. The priest called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you're supposed to call the doctor."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A Jewish man is walking on the beach when he discovers a bottle containing genie. He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish. He says, "Peace in the Middle east, that’s my wish."
The genie looks concerned, then says, "No, I’m sorry, that’s just not possible. Some things just can’t be changed. Do you have another wish?"
The guys says, "Well, my whole life I’ve never received oral sex from my wife. That would be my wish." The genie pauses for another moment and then says, "How would you define peace?"
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked, "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?"The cowboy said, "Well, I can think of one thing."
He continued, "On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off or I'll kick the crap out of all of you!"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" The Cowboy replied, "A couple of minutes ago."
That's it for today, my little goblins. Remember, remember that water dissolves alien beasts and witches. This information may or may not affect your balance when handing a glass of water to your mother-in-law. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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More next week.
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I remember loading film into my new camera, then searching for the flash bulbs. For some reason, we licked the poles of the flash bulb prior to insertion (Freudian?). After the film was used, I took it to the drugstore to have it developed. Black and white, of course.
I was around eleven years old when I got my first camera. I remember seeing an ad in my comic book that said if I sold a certain amount of 8"X10" religious cards, I would "win" a camera.
So, the materials arrived and off I went going house to house trying to sell my product for ten cents each. That may not sound like much but back in the day, you could buy a week's groceries for $5-7 dollars. It took me about two weeks to sell everything and then I mailed in the money and awaited my camera.
My camera finally arrived around two weeks later and it was then I realized that I would have to buy film and flash bulbs. I don't remember the cost or what development would cost, but I do recall that I had to go searching for soda bottles to cash in so I could pay for it.
No one in the family had a camera and I couldn't wait to finish my first roll of film. Most of the pictures "came out" (a term today's youth would not fathom). It was important to save the negatives for future reprints.
Over the next few years, I took mostly family pictures and stock car racing pictures. Oddly enough, most of the family pictures, including my grandfather, aunts, uncles and cousins were taken with my camera.
In retrospect, I'm happy I got my camera or I wouldn't have the few cherished pictures from my early childhood.
The News As I See It: Google has developed image-recognition software that can accurately capture what’s happening in a photo. But it still has some bugs. It described Kim Kardashian's recent photo as "Woman being chased by two Butterball turkeys."
A new study found that women have better memories than men. Also, a new study found that women have better memories than men.
This Date In History: 1803; The Senate ratified the Louisiana Purchase. 1944; Gen. Douglas MacArthur returned to the Philippines, 30 months after he said "I shall return." 1947; The U.S. House Un-American Activities Committee opened meetings about alleged Communist infiltration in the Hollywood film industry. 1964; Herbert Hoover, the 31st president of the United States, died in New York at age 90.
1968; Jacqueline Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 1973; During the Watergate scandal, Attorney General Elliot L. Richardson and Deputy Attorney General William B. Ruckelshaus resigned and special prosecutor Archibald Cox was dismissed by President Nixon in what came to be known as the "Saturday Night Massacre." 2011; Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi is killed by rebel troops in Surt, Libya, his hometown.
Picture Of The Day: My camera looked somewhat like this and I was thrilled when it arrived.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I hope my ship comes in before my dock rots. 2) The doctor said working puzzles would keep Grandma's mind sharp. She's been in the corn maze going on four days, so that remains to be seen. 3) Back in the day, every TV had a remote control. In my house, it was usually me or my brother. 4) Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish. Tomorrow I learn how to tie my shoes with one hand. 5) It is said that the only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is one degree in the normal reading. Personally, I think the main difference would be in the taste.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Libra - October 18th: The evidence for love is staring you in the face but you can't see the forest for the trees. I think the best thing to do is to stop wandering into forests and stand toe-to-toe with the one that attracts you.
Birthdays: Arthur Rimbaud. poet 1854, John Dewey. philosopher, educator 1859, Charles Ives. composer 1874, Bela Lugosi. actor 1882, Jelly Roll Morton. musician 1890, Arlene Francis. actress, TV personality 1907, Art Buchwald, humorist 1925, Mickey Mantle, baseball player 1931, Tom Petty, musician 1950, Viggo Mortensen, actor 1958.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: If your child needs a last-minute Halloween costume, you can wrap him like The Mummy with your CVS receipts.
You can also scan him for $2 off Advil.
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in an adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I lived here years ago." The old lady continued, "So, where were you all these years?" The man says, "In prison."
The old lady asked, "Why did they put you in prison?" He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife." The old woman said, "Oh! So you're single...?!"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. It never smells and it's always silent."
She went on, "As a matter of fact I've passed gas at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was passing gas because it doesn't smell and it's silent." The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back and says, "Doctor, I don't know what you gave me, but now my passing gas, although still silent, smells terribly." The doctor says, "Ok, now that we've cleared up your sinuses, we'll start to work on your hearing.
A mother of five decides to get plastic surgery on her privates so her husband can enjoy the snugness she had in her youth. So, she heads off to the doctor for the procedure.
Once the procedure is done, she wakes up to find three roses on her bed and asks the nurse who sent them.
The nurse says, "The doctor wanted you to know he appreciates the business, so he left you a rose. Then your husband came in with a rose, stating that he can't wait to feel the results of the surgery, so he left a rose, too."
The woman asks, "What about the third rose?" The nurse says, "Oh, that's from Ed in the burn unit. He wanted to say thanks for the new ears."
That's it for today, my little tater tots. Remember, anchovies or jalapenos added to jokes upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions!. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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More next week.
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At least it's Friday. People were yelling warnings at movie screens long before Jason's escapades. Scary movies keep people on the edge of their seats and once that eerie music begins, everyone knows not to leave that cabin or go up those stairs. But noooo.....!
Friday the 13th is considered an unlucky day in Western superstition. Realistically, any day you step in dog shit is bad luck, as well, so everything is relative. Of course you can make matters worse by making bad decisions.
Take into consideration the Canadian man and his family who were just released by the Taliban after five years because he thought taking a hike in Afghanistan was a good idea. But, I digress.
Friday the 13th ( the movie) had a long run and produced many sequels (ad nauseum). Of course, the older crowd might remember Frankenstein, The Werewolf, Dracula and The Mummy as nail-biters as well.
One of my favorites as a kid was The Blob and The Creature From The Black lagoon, the latter being the first horror film produced in 3-D.
My suggestion for today is to take things in stride and bad luck be damned. This particular thought was seconded by my black cat, Samantha, who suggested that things could be worse. You could be married to Bill or Hillary Clinton.....
The News As I See It: The big story this week is the Harvey Weinstein scandal. Some very serious allegations came out about his sexual misconduct. You can tell they’re bad because Anthony Weiner just unfriended him.
Reports say Netflix is raising its prices next month. Wow, that's gonna be quite a burden on whoever’s password I’m using.
A man from Italy just set a Guinness World Record by putting on 13 pairs of underwear in 30 seconds. On the downside, he’s now banned from Victoria’s Secret.
This Date In History: 1775; The Continental Congress authorized the construction of a naval fleet. 1792; The cornerstone of the White House was laid. 1843; The Jewish organization B'nai B'rith was founded. 1903; Boston defeated Pittsburgh in the first World Series.
1943; Italy declared war on Germany, its former Axis partner, during World War II. 1974; Ed Sullivan died in New York City at age 72. 1981; Egypt's vice president Hosni Mubarak was elected president, one week after Anwar Sadat's assassination.
Picture Of The Day: The Creature From The Black Lagoon.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When I was born, I was given a choice - to be well hung or have a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.
2) At six, I was left an orphan. What the hell is a six year old supposed to do with an orphan? 3) In an intellectually equal society, who will be the busboys? 4) I found out my girlfriend was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam and we're stoning her in the morning! 5) I wish that Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Libra - October 13th: Temptation is everywhere, especially if you're willing to look for it. The best places to look are wedding receptions and class reunions.
Birthdays: Yves Montand, actor, singer 1921, Margaret Thatcher, British political leader 1925, Paul Simon, musician 1941, Jerry Rice, football player 1962, Nancy Kerrigan, figure skater 1969, Ashanti, singer, actress 1980, Ian Thorpe, swimmer 1982.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic said, "You complain about your wife's constant nagging and yelling, yet you still remain married. There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your wife will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the man stares at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. He took a few deep breaths to compose himself. He simply had to know. He met the fortune-teller's gaze, steadied his voice, and asked, "Will I be found guilty?"
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I do?"
Mabel reached up to her ear, pulled out the suppository and stared at it. Then she said, "I think I know where to find my hearing aid."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for'small, $6,500 for medium and $14,000 for large.
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room and found the man looking dejected.
The doctor asked, "Well, what have the two of you decided?' The man replied, "She said she would rather remodel the kitchen."
A man and woman were in divorce court awaiting the judge's ruling on the financial and property settlement. The judge said, "Mr Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $750 a week."
Mr Clark said, "That's very fair, your honor, and every now and then, I'll try to give her a few bucks, myself."
That's it for today, my little turtle doves. Remember, there's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
Follow Jimmy's Journal on Facebook by clicking the "Follow This Blog" button at the top right of the page.
More next week.
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Yeah and for a fleeting moment, it was the style. Then, you see old pictures and you think, "What the hell was I thinking?" Big hair, flat tops, bell bottoms, mini skirts, wide lapels, leisure suits. Kids today poke fun. Laugh it up, Bozo, you'll get your chance.
At some point during my formative years, I recall surfer shirts, the madras era, boat necks, turtle necks. I was in a band and we wore matching suits, skinny ties, ascots, and dare I say, dickies? Shades of Howard Wolowitz.....
Remember the Nehru jacket? I bought one about a month before they went out of style. The era of the leisure suit with Nik-Nik shirts that were so loud and colorful they screamed of fashion faux pas. And they were expensive! We didn't care. They were "in style".
As I became wiser, I learned to buy more conservative suits, shirts and pants that were always in style, This of course allowed me money to do silly things like pay rent and buy groceries.
As I became more successful, I must admit a penchant for Armani suits, coats, shirts and, of course, Florsheim shoes. Then again, sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do......
The News As I See It: Nike announced their solidarity with the NFL protesters who kneel during the "Star Spangled Banner" and the American flag, They then announced the debut of their new $400 kneeling shoes.
Former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will speak at a rally against gerrymandering. Admission is free, but I would still pay $1,000 just to hear him say "gerrymandering."
Last weekend, a truck carrying 40,000 bottles of vodka overturned in North Carolina. The driver is fine. He said he’s shaken, but not stirred.
The local news, while advising the public in preparation for the arrival of Hurricane Irma, advised that you could download their app so you can tell there's been a power failure. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights usually tips me off.
Sorry Canada but most Americans think "Vancouver" is a big tarp for your VW microbus.
This Date In History: 1927; "The Jazz Singer," the first full-length talking picture, starring Al Jolson, debuted. 1949; Japanese-American broadcaster, Iva Toguri D'Aquino (Tokyo Rose), was sentenced to 10 years in prison and fined $10,000 for treason.
1973; The Yom Kippur War began when Syria and Egypt attacked Israel.
1979; President Jimmy Carter received Pope John Paul II, the first pope to visit the White House.
1981; Egypt's President Anwar Sadat was assassinated in Cairo. 1989; Bette Davis died in France at age 81.
Picture Of The Day: I had a burnt orange Nik Nik similar to this one (only sharper) worn with darker burnt orange pants that were so tight it wasn't necessary to guess my religion. So there i was, onstage performing in a night club and looking like a white pimp. Thankfully, it was prior to the advent of cell phones.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A month ago I gave my cell number to a beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". She hasn't texted me yet. She's probably homeless.
2) The last time my computer crashed, all the other computers slowed down so they could see what was happening. 3) In 2008, the entire staff of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary was fired. To this day, I still don't know if it's moustache or mustache. 4) I've learned a lot about women over the years. For example, if you're going to the hospital for a gunshot wound and she asks for tampons, you'd better stop on the way. 5) My cat Samantha ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow her around the house because it's her turn.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Libra - October 6th: Become as the rabbit. All will become clear as the moon begins its wane. There are lots of ideas screaming to be let out of your head. Let them free and they'll scream in other people's heads too!
Birthdays: Jenny Lind, soprano 1820, George Westinghouse, inventor 1846. Carole Lombard, actress 1908, Thor Heyerdahl, explorer and anthropologist 1914, Amy Jo Johnson, actress 1970, Rebecca Lobo, basketball player 1973, Taylor Hicks, singer 1976.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man and wife are in bed and the wife says, "Honey, if I die would you get married again? Her husband replied, "No dear." His wife said, "I'm sure you would." The annoyed husband said, "Okay, I would."
The wife asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" Her husband answered, "Yeah, I guess so." The wife asked, "Would you let her wear my clothes?" Her husband replied, "No, she's taller than you."
A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. A couple of weeks later the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing.
The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't look at the cows. His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.
The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped.
The farmer looks delighted and says, "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!
His friend says, "Wow! What did the vet do to that bull?"
The farmer said, "He just gave him some pills'." His friend asked, "What kind of pills?" The farmer said, "I don't know, but they taste like peppermint."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The police department in the small town in Nebraska reported finding a man's body last Saturday in the early evening in the Platte River near the State Highway 30 bridge.
The dead man's name was not released pending family notification.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive alcohol consumption while visiting "someone" in Central City. He was wearing fishnet stockings, spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string and an Obama T-shirt.
The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a woman with a particularly large diamond ring. As he admired the ring, the bartender came over and said, "That's the Lipschitz diamond. It's beautiful, but it comes with a curse."
The man asked, "What's the curse?" The bartender replied, "Mrs. Lipschitz."
That's it for today, my little sweet potatoes. Remember, chin up and best foot forward, that is, assuming you know which foot is best. If not, give it your best guess. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
Follow Jimmy's Journal on Facebook by clicking the "Follow This Blog" button at the top right of the page.
More next week.
Stay Tuned !
