Scotch On The Rocks !

This probably ought to be under The Hits Just Keep On Coming, but it happens to be true (and funny). It seems that India launched a TV-sized probe adorned with a painting of the Indian flag from the unmanned lunar orbiter Chandrayaan-1 and made a crash landing on the lunar surface today around 10:01 a.m. (ET).

I'm not really sure what that actually means or what they accomplished but methinks the next news conference will be Indian officials claiming the rights for the taxi cab driver and 7-11 franchises.

Today is party day and I'll be going to AREA 51 for the karaoke show and see my pals. I haven't sang in the karaoke show for some time and perhaps tonight I will. I've really been a lot more interested in how the new management will be handling the club. There's been a quite a few more people at Lakes Cafe on Friday nights but the jury is still out as to the way they're running the club. We'll see.

I've added two versions of "Girl From Ipanema" to my music playlist. One is by Frank Sinatra and the other is by Antonio Carlos Jobim and Astrud Gilberto, with Stan Getz. In case neither is playing as you read today's post, keep in mind that you can click on any song and it will play. If you like music, you'll love the Jobim-Gilberto version in Portugese and English.

The Cat's Ass Trophy Award: Sometimes the cat gets a taste of his own medicine. I wonder if this comes under the category of "giving the bird"? In the meantime, nominations are open for this week's CAT Award and will remain open until Monday at noon. Take your best shot.

This Date In History 1770; After two years spent in Abyssinia, now Ethiopia, explorer James Bruce discovers the source of the Blue Nile at Lake Tana. 1851; Herman Melville’s Moby Dick, one of the masterpieces of English literature, is published in its entirety for the first time.

1922; The British Broadcasting Company, now the British Broadcasting Corporation, transmits its first daily radio service from London. 1941; HMS Ark Royal, the Royal Navy’s celebrated aircraft carrier of World War II, sinks after being torpedoed the previous day by a German submarine while en route to Gibraltar.

Photo Of The Day My pal, Anne, author of Saturday's Child, sent me this beautiful picture. One thing I really miss about AOL Journals was the ability to post multiple pictures and themes. I'll add some additional pictures throughout today's entry.

Birthdays: Claude Monet, French painter 1840, Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian nationalist leader and statesman 1889, Aaron Copland, American composer 1900, Hussein I, king of Jordan 1935, Prince Charles, Prince of Wales 1948.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

A Drunk wanders into a seminar where a psychiatrist is addressing a group of people who have all had experiences with the supernatural. The psychiatrist asks, "Who here has seen a ghost?" Everyone puts up their hands. He then asks, "Who here has spoken with a ghost?" Half the audience puts up their hands. "And who here has touched a ghost?" Ten percent of the crowd puts up their hands.

The psychiatrist then asks, "And who here has made love with a ghost?" The drunk in the back row puts up his hand... The psychiatrist looks down from the podium at the drunk and says: "Do you mean to tell me that you have made love with a ghost?" The drunk replies, "Oh sorry, I thought you said 'goat'."

That's it for today my little bobby soxers. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Commercials That Are beginning To Irritate Me !

While watching the latest Jackie Chan movie last night I wondered why you never see any Chinese men nicknamed Rusty. Things like this occasionally pass through my mind on Hump Day's Eve and it always reminds me of the fact that I really need to get out of the house more often. Fortunately, Wednesday nights are always my mid-week excuse to go to happy hour in AREA 51 and hang out with my pals and tonight will be no exception.

From The Commercials I'm Beginning To Hate Department:

I'm starting to believe that advertisers must assume that anyone watching television past 12:00 at night are complete morons. That's either true or the advertisers for late night television are morons themselves. It's insulting to watch all of the ambulance chasing attorneys shlock their various firms, encouraging anyone who will listen to file a law suit against anybody for any reason and hoping that they can find a case that they can milk to the "nth" degree.

Of course, there's always the free credit report.com companies that tell you that unless you purchase their service (oh yeah, it's not really free), you will never be able to get credit or find a job and there's a 50-50 chance you will become constipated. What they neglect to tell you is that all credit report companies are required by law to give you a yearly free credit report (upon written request).

I'm even further agitated by the latest commercial from a company that urges you to get rid of your "unwanted or unused" gold (?) by sending it (in the mail) to Murray Goldsilverberg and they will send you cash (as opposed to green stamps). They "eliminate" the middle man by melting the gold in their own "refinery" (located in the garage behind the Goldsilverberg home in Yonkers, New York).

What's even sadder is that I'm relatively sure that the two ugly women attesting to the validity of the offer are his wife and daughter (God forbid). Either they're his family or he has a poor sense of the definition of acting.

Last evening I saw at least three commercials hawking some inane, idiotic product and urging you to call NOW and be the among the first 72,350 callers and they will double your order. "Yes folks, you can order this handy dandy, deluxe key chain with the attached beer can opener and penlight for the low, low price of....... (you guessed it) $19.95. A $743 dollar value (who decides what the real value is?), this product is yours for only $19.95. Call now while supplies last."

Opportunists......ya gotta really love 'em even if you're the 72,351st caller and they don't double your order.

This Date In History 1833; In the greatest meteor storm in recorded history, the annual Leonid meteor shower unexpectedly turns into a storm of up to 40 meteors per second, causing panic throughout the eastern United States. 1948; In the final session of the International Military Tribunal for the Far East, in Tokyo, seven war criminals, including former Japanese leader Hideki Tojo, are sentenced to death. 1980; Voyager 1, the first space probe to travel through the Saturnian system, comes within 78,000 miles of Saturn, its closest encounter with the gas planet.

Picture Of The Day It's getting closer and closer to ski season and my thoughts often wander to Heavenly Valley at Lake Tahoe, Nevada. Located on the California-Nevada state line, it is probably one of the most beautiful areas in the world. I have skied that area many times in the past and the great thing about Tahoe is that you can return home to your room in Caesars Palace and enjoy the casinos, shows and nightlife.

Birthdays: Auguste Rodin, French sculptor 1840, Lord Rayleigh, mathematician and physicist 1842, Grace Kelly, American film actress 1929, Neil Young, Canadian singer, songwriter, and guitarist 1945.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of horse manure. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" The farmer replied, "Horse manure." The little boy asked, "What are you going to do with it?" The farmer said, "Put it on strawberries." The little boy said, "You ought to live here, we put sugar and cream on ours."

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him. After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him. She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina". The old guy says "God, I hope so, 'cause you've got the ugliest tits I've ever seen."

I spend a lot of time on my computer but I hope I always remember when to get up a take a break...

That's it for today my little cracker jacks and jills. More On Friday.

Stay Tuned !

A Tribute To All Veterans And A Tribute To My Father

Today is Veterans Day, a day to stop and remember the men and women of the armed forces who have served and currently served America. I was trained as a combat medic in the United States Army and served from 1966 to 1971. My brother Kirt was also in the United States Army and served for three years, one of which was in Vietnam.

Although all wars are horrible, the Vietnam era is the most vivid in my mind mainly because that I was a part of it. More than 57,000 soldiers were killed during that era and many more were wounded. It was also a time of protest and rebellion and returning soldiers were not always greeted with open arms and gratitude, rather they were often jeered.

Thankfully, Vietnam War veterans are now being recognized for the part they played in the defense of America and rightfully so. Today's returning veterans from Afghanistan and Iraq are being deservedly welcomed home and respected.

Today, I'd like to thank all of the men and women of the armed forces for their service to America. Moreover, I'd like to thank my father, James M. Sullivan, Sr., for his service to America during World War II, by posting pictures of my father during past Veterans Day ceremonies prior to his death.

God Bless America !

Stay Tuned !

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire !

It's Mundane and a new work week to wade through as I look forward to Thanksgiving Day. Not much real partying on that great day, per se, just family, friends, turkey and football. I love it.

Speaking of partying, my regular journey to AREA 51 this weekend was a lot of fun. The karaoke show was great and, oddly enough, there was little mention of the presidential election. Of course, when there's wine, women and song, nothing else really comes to mind. I really didn't over-indulge too much and arrived home at a respectable 2:00 am.

On a side note to my pal Linda in chilly Washington state, my bread crumb plan didn't work too well this weekend as a family of ducks have discovered my plan. I was kinda wondering why they were patiently waiting next to my car.

Tomorrow is Veterans Day and I urge all Americans to take the time and honor the men and women of the armed forces who gave of themselves to keep America free.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award. Garnett nominated Eliot Spencer, the former governor of New York governor who resigned after it was discovered that he had paid for prostitutes multiple times from a service called The Emperor's Club VIP.

Michael Garcia, the US attorney in Manhattan, said Mr Spitzer will not be prosecuted over the call girl scandal which forced his resignation. Garcia said that Spitzer had paid for prostitutes on "multiple occasions" but his office had found no evidence that he used public money or campaign funds.

The married Democrat, who had campaigned as a moral crusader, was identified in phone conversations involving the escort agency as Client 9.

The judges (My cat Shithead and myself) are in agreement with Garnett and The CAT Award goes to Eliot Spitzer. A second CAT Award is also awarded to U.S. Attorney Michael Garcia for his failure to prosecute Mr. Spitzer.

This Date In History 1908; Elizabeth Garrett Anderson is elected mayor of Aldeburgh, in Suffolk, thus becoming England’s first woman mayor. 1918; Kaiser William II abdicates, ending centuries of Hohenzollern rule in Germany. 1938; Throughout Germany, Kristallnacht, or the "Night of Broken Glass", sees a night of savage attacks on Jews and their property orchestrated by the Nazis.

1953; Dylan Thomas dies in New York from the effects of alcohol and incorrect medication. 1989; German citizens begin to demolish the Berlin Wall, which has separated East Germany from West Germany since 1961.

Picture Of The Day Where there's smoke, there's fire and I've seen this phenomenon in action. One can get easily singed while playing with fire and I urge all to use extreme caution. Of course, one can always get over a few minor blisters.

Birthdays Edward VII, king of Great Britain and Ireland 1841, Sir Giles Gilbert Scott, architect 1880, Jean Monnet, French statesman and financier 1888, Carl Sagan, American astronomer and pioneer exobiologist 1934.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally passes gas quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. A couple of weeks later, the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and wouldn't look at the cows. His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The friend leaves and the farmer calls the vet to have him look at the bull. After the vet checks out the bull, he gives the farmer some pills and tells him to give the bull one pill a day.

The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer is delighted and says, "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!" His friend says, "Wow, what did the vet do to that bull?"

The farmer says, "Just gave him some pills". His friend says, "What kind of pills?" The farmer says, "I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."

That's it for today my happy little heifers. Remember our men and women of the armed forces and more on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

Everyone Has A Photographic Memory, But Some Don't Have Film !

Friday has arrived and by my calculations, a trip to AREA 51 is in order. This week is finally over and I'm sure that all of you welcome a return to normalcy. It's karaoke night at Lakes Cafe and the recent change in ownership is working out quite well. Friday nights has seen a substantial increase in patronage and has also brought more talented performers to the karaoke show. With the weather becoming cooler by the day, I look forward to enjoying tonight's activities.

I'm a little taken aback at the multitude of houses and stores that already have their Christmas decorations up. We just gotten over Halloween and the presidi..., we've just gotten over two Halloweens, and the Christmas commercials are hitting the media, both print and television. I love Christmas, but there's this cute little holiday called Thanksgiving that I think the stores that are already hawking Christmas sales might want to consider. Call me silly, but let's just take one thing at a time.

I want to thank everyone for their comments and reactions to my Wednesday entry. I evidently ruffled a few feathers with my thoughts, but if you don't know me by now, you never will. Whether you agree me or you don't, I say what's on my mind and I welcome contrasting views. My long time readers who did disagree with my views, said so, with no hard feelings, and tomorrow's another day.

There were a couple of newer readers who just picked up their ball and went home. I have no problem with that either. I believe that the term "politically correct" is just a way to say one thing to a person's face and say another thing behind his back. That's not politically correct, that's hypocracy. If one wants to become angry at that, then one must have been truly outraged at the barbs, insults and innuendos exchanged by all parties in this past election.

This Brings Me to Murphy's Lesser Known Laws:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people "appear"bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable-- except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, on a hill, in the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10. When going to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award nominations are open and this week my have spawned one or two thoughts for nominees. Anyone can make a nomination so if you feel there are any deserving nominees from this week's news, please feel free to nominate them. Nominations are open until Monday at noon.

This Date In History 1307 The legendary Swiss patriot William Tell is said to have shot Gessler, the despotic Austrian governor of his canton, Uri, on this day. 1885 The Canadian Pacific Railway, linking the east and west coasts of Canada, is completed with the last spike being driven at Craigellachie, British Columbia.

1917 The Bolsheviks seize power in Russia, creating the world's first communist state. 1944 Franklin D. Roosevelt is re-elected to a record fourth term as president of the United States. 1944 Franklin D. Roosevelt is re-elected to a record fourth term as president of the United States

Picture Of The Day Johnny Walker Black, my long trusted consultant and spiritual advisor in one of his rarer forms. Although I am sometimes the one in rare form, he usually doesn't let me wade too deep into unknown waters.

Birthdays Marie Curie, née Maria Sklodowska, French physicist and twice Nobel laureate, best known for her work on radioactivity, with her husband Pierre 1867, Leon Trotsky, Russian Marxist theorist and revolutionary 1879, Albert Camus, French novelist, essayist, and dramatist 1913, Billy Graham, American evangelist 1918, Joan Sutherland, Australian soprano 1926.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa ! You need to go out and fix the outhouse seat!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse seat." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the seat! " Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!" Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse seat!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it ?!"

That's it for today, my little billy goats. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay tuned !

It's Only Just Begun !

Yesterday, the United States of America elected a new president and the celebrations have begun. They're celebrating in Chicago, they're celebrating in Los Angeles and they're celebrating in New York. Celebrations are also happening in Kenya, Iran, Russia, Indonesia and throughout the Muslim world. When the race for the presidency began many months ago, I thought that the people of the United States were smart enough to be able to make an intelligent choice among the many mediocre candidates. I was wrong.

Knowing full well that the masses are much like sheep patiently waiting to be sheared, I felt in my heart of hearts, some sense of sanity would prevail. The presidential race became just another American Idol show and the flames were fanned by the media. Yet, you have to be aware of the fact that if the media wants something and properly spins the messages to the public, the public will dutifully follow their lead without question. When the media gets what they want, you can be sure that they're going to benefit from it in one way or another.

The presidential outcome will not affect me in any way. All of my plans and finances are predicated on getting the new set of instructions from the new administration after every election and devise ways to profit from them. I cannot, however, be proud of the fact that we have black president named Barack Hussein Obama, with dubious experience, a dubious background and relatives in parts of the world that hate Americans.



There's an old adage that says, "be careful what you wish for, you may get it." I will hesitantly give the president-elect the benefit of the doubt with the hope that at least 25% of what he promised will come to pass. I have not yet been able to mathematically calculate how 95% of Americans will have their taxes reduced, but then again, I have no idea how Jesus fed the multitudes with a few loaves of bread and a few fish. Since Obama's supporters feel that he is the second coming, I'll just take a wait and see attitude.

Time will surely tell as the democrats can no longer place total blame on the republicans for America's economy and woes. The proverbial basketball is now in the democrat's court.

It's Hump Day and I've got an eerie feeling that happy hour in AREA 51 will be very spirited. It will be interesting to see what the denizens have to say.

This Date In History 1605: Guy Fawkes, a conspirator in the Gunpowder Plot, is arrested while attempting to blow up the Houses of Parliament. 1688: During the Glorious Revolution, William of Orange lands a 40,000-strong army at Torbay, Devon, to claim the British throne from James II. 1854: The Battle of Inkerman, during the Crimean War, sees a significant victory for Britain over Russia.

1991: The body of Robert Maxwell, the notorious media tycoon, is found off the Canary Islands, after disappearing from his luxury yacht in mysterious circumstances. 1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt is elected to an unprecedented third term in office as president of the United States.

Picture Of The Day: The day is not really complete until I get a few last licks in (I never said I was a good loser). Now that the elections are finally over, I can return to watching the normally crummy everyday commerials, which for the most part, just describe their own products and do not resort to calling other like products a piece of crap. To add insult to injury, now every politician in the nation will return to lying, stealing and coniving and embrace all of their competition as bretheren. The Audacity of Hope? No, the audacity of hype and hipocracy.

Birthdays: Eugene Debs, American socialist leader 1855, James Elroy Flecker, poet and dramatist 1884, John Burdon Sanderson Haldane, geneticist 1892, Vivien Leigh, actress most noted for her roles as Scarlett O'Hara, in "Gone With The Wind" and Blanche DuBois in "A Streetcar Named Desire" 1913.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Soon after marrying a beautiful blonde, a Texan was busily preparing for the first day of deer hunting season. His new wife started nagging that he had never asked her to go along. After several hours of argument the wife won.

That next morning they drove out to the country, and the wife climbed up in a tree for a better hidden view, about 100 yards from his blind. Just as the hunter reached the blind, he heard a loud bang coming from the wife's position.

As the Texan ran up to her, he saw that she was holding her gun on a man nearby and shouting, "It's my deer! Get away from It!!

The sheepish-looking stranger just nodded slowly and said, "OK, lady..... It's your deer.... Just let me get my saddle off of it!"

Miss Annabell had just returned from her big trip to New York City and was having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy's mansion with her southern belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound.

"You just wouldn't believe what they have there in New York City," says Miss Annabell. "They have men there who kiss other men on the lips." Miss Annabell's friends fan themselves and say, "Oh my! Oh my!" "They call them homosexuals," proclaims Miss Annabell. "Oh my! Oh my," proclaim the girls as they fan themselves.

"They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!" "Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls. "What do they call them?" they ask. "They call them lesbians," says Miss Annabell.

"They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City," sighs Miss Annabell. "Oh my! Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls as the sit on the edge of their chairs and fan themselves even faster. "What do they call them?" they ask in unison.

Miss Annabell leans forward and says in a hush, "Why, when I caught my breath, I called him Precious."

That's it for today, my little southern belles. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

Keep In Mind That If You Want To Dance, You Have To Pay The Band !

There's a good reason why certain celebrations are only once a year. Halloween and New Year's Eve are probably two of the best examples. I'm not sure why, but these celebrations have a tendency to change normal, everyday people into totally different characters...a Jekyll and Hyde phenomenon, if you will. On the other hand, veteran party-goers, have a tendency to forget the the physical effects caused by two consecutive nights of wearing the proverbial lampshade as a hat. I fall into the latter category.

I partied in AREA 51 both Friday and Saturday nights, going to both Lakes Cafe and The Billiards Club. While there were many creative costumes worn by a bevy of attractive ladies, there are always a few who are confused by the word "creative" and rely on their own skills to come up with an idea. Both evenings were fun and Father James did in fact hear a few confessions, which were quickly absolved, the penitence being two bloody marys.

The fact that seems to continually slip from my grasp is the physical tab, which is normally presented to me on the morning of day three. That tab, in fact, was higher than expected and I spent the majority of the day looking for body parts. You'd think that after many years of parties that one would remember the cost of paying the piper.....

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award had one nomination by Garnett, who nominated Charles Bizilj. At a gun fair with an instructor watching, Bizilj's 8-year-old son aimed an Uzi at a pumpkin and pulled the trigger as his father reached for a camera. It was his first time shooting a fully automatic machine gun, and the recoil of the weapon was too much for him. He lost control and fatally shot himself in the head.

While I feel for Mr. Bizilj's loss, the total lunacy of allowing an eight-year-old boy even go near a firearm is beyond me. The CAT Award goes to Charles Bizilj.

This Date In History 1867: At Mentana, Italian nationalist Guiseppe Garibaldi, in his final battle for Italian unification, is defeated and captured by a combined Franco-Papal army. 1903: Panama issues a declaration of independence from Colombia. 1954: Henri Matisse, the French artist and leader of the Fauvists, dies in Nice, at age 84. 1957: The dog Laika becomes the first living creature to travel in space, on board Sputnik 2.

Picture Of The Day Tomorrow, we elect a new president. While neither of the candidates meet my expectations, I sincerely hope that the silent majority stands up and makes their voices heard. In the interim, perhaps today's graphic will lend itself toward explaining why the majority needs to stand up.

Birthdays Stephen Austin, early American leader of Texas 1793 Karl Baedeker, German book publisher 1801 Vincenzo Bellini, Italian composer 1801 Michael Dukakis, American politician 1933.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tell your fortune. So, she thought to herself "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me." She went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card that said, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 pounds and your are going to Chicago, Illinois." She sat back down and thought about it.

She told herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again. She went back to the machine and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 pounds and you are going to Chicago, Illinois and you enjoy hearing fiddle music." The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong, I have never listened to fiddle music a day in my life." She sat down again.

From nowhere, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to her. He picked up the fiddle and just started playing beautiful music. Startled, she looked back at the machine and said "This is incredible. I've got to try it again". Back to the machine.

She put her nickel in and another card came out. It said "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds, you're going to Chicago, Illinois and you're going to break wind". Now, the nun knows the machine is wrong "I never broke wind in public a day in my life!" Well, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind. Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine.

She said to herself "This is truly unbelievable! I've got to try it again." She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. It said "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds and you have fiddled and farted around so long that you missed your flight to Chicago."

It's your decision tomorrow, my friends. As good citizens, much like my patriotic friend above, go out and make your vote count.

That's it for today, my little turtle doves. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !