Hey Jason - It's Friday The Thirteenth Again

I have to begin today's post with some sad news. My pal Linda's cat, Gabi Lin, passed Wednesday and Linda is heartbroken. Linda recently got out of the hospital herself and she definitely didn't need any additional heartache. If any of you are pet lovers, you know the devastation that comes with losing a pet. Please stop by Linda's journal at http://lindasworld-lindasworld.blogspot.com/ and wish her well.

Bernie Madoff pled guilty yesterday to bilking investors of over 50 billion dollars. His bail was revoked and they took his sorry ass to jail. By pleading guilty, he avoids court trial and the possibility of having the rest of his family indicted. It is virtually impossible that a 70 year old man could have run a scam like this for more than ten years without the aid of his family and friends.

The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) let this Ponzi Scheme get past them for years, but a little insight might give you an idea why. It seems that Bernie's niece is married to a SEC regulator. Coincidence?

As for the investors who lost money, I generally feel bad for most of them, but there are a few things that bother me about some. Most of the investors are in Hedge Funds, an investment fund open to a limited range of investors that is permitted by regulators to undertake a wider range of activities than other investment funds and also pays a performance fee to its investment manager.

It seems to me that a wealthy, well educated investor would know that invested monies that are returning an abnormally high rate of return are suspicious, if not immoral or illegal. Perhaps some of the more greedier investors just looked the other way. Life's a bitch, huh?

Speaking Of Ponzi Schemes, did you know that a Ponzi scheme is a fraudulent investment operation that pays returns to investors from their own money or money paid by subsequent investors rather than from profit. The scheme is named after Charles Ponzi, who became notorious for using the technique after immigrating from Italy to the United States in 1903. Ponzi did not invent the scheme, but his operation took in so much money that it was the first to become known throughout the United States.

His original scheme was in theory based on arbitraging international reply coupons for postage stamps, but soon diverted investors' money to support payments to earlier investors and Ponzi's personal wealth.

There are some television shows I just don't watch namely Survivor, The Bachelor and the rest of those scripted "reality" shows. I live in my own little reality world daily and frankly, I don't care to watch a group of morons interact. When I do have the occasional desire to see morons interact, I simple tune into C-Span and watch our Congress "at work."

Being a musician, singer and performer, I do, however, watch "Dancing With The Stars" and especially "American Idol" once they have eliminated the freaks and wannabees and get down to the talented few. Since I'm not up to speed on the current idol status, I would appreciate those of you who had the patience to watch this year's "Idol" from day one to suggest in your comments who you think will end up in the final five or six and who I should watch.

Friday Earn Money Taking Surveys: I've added another link to my list of proven survey sites on my sidebar. These are sites that I use and they are legitimate ways to make some spending money. You won't get rich but the surveys only take a few minutes to complete and the money adds up. I made over $1,000 in 2008 taking surveys. An easy way to save for Christmas presents or just cash in when you need money.

I will be adding more sites as they become proven to me and I will alert you as I post them. If you have any questions as to how they work, please email me at jimsulliv3@aol.com and I will give you the details.

This Date In History: 1781; German-born British astronomer William Herschel discovers the planet Uranus. 1868; The impeachment trial of President Andrew Johnson begins. Johnson is the first United States president to be impeached. 1881; Alexander II, emperor of Russia, is assassinated when bombs are thrown at his carriage by members of a revolutionary group, the Narodnaya Volya ("People's Will"). 1961; The Spanish painter Pablo Picasso, aged 79, marries Jacqueline Roque, aged 37.

Picture Of The Day: Today is Friday the 13th and this somewhat interferes with my Happy Hour plans in AREA 51. It certainly doesn't bother me but it may affect the turnout. Thankfully, I, along with most of the people I hang out with, am not superstitious. I'm hopeful that tonight should be a lot of fun (knock on wood).

Be that as it may, today's pictures are rather eclectic but then again.... The basic theme is Friday the 13th and superstitions.

Birthdays: Joseph Priestley, British chemist, who isolated and described several gases, including oxygen, and who is considered one of the founders of modern chemistry because of his contributions to experimentation 1733, Joseph II, Holy Roman emperor 1741, Percival Lowell, American astronomer 1855, Hugo Wolf, Austrian composer 1860.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. 2) I've been a baker, carpenter, soldier and insurance salesman in my younger days. 3) I have not been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn or a king. 4) My brother Kirt and I used to imitate the Smothers Brothers acts. Mom always liked me better. 5) My buddy Pete and I had to sit in a tree to watch stock car races because we didn't have the money to get in. We use to get a bad rash the next day after every race we attended. It only took us four weeks to figure out that it was covered in poison ivy.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal, Garnett, for his contribution to today's stories.

There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.

Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another Organist.

So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green Persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green Persimmons, "because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while".

The Organist agreed to try it and the following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said, "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday."

Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge andinto the wind he goes!

Meanwhile, Ma and Pa were sitting on the porch swing talking bout the good ole days when Ma spots the biggest bird she ever seen! Ma says, "Look at the size of that bird, Pa!" Paw raises up," Git my gun, Ma." She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim and fires four times.

The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops. Ma says, "I think ya missed him, Pa." Her husband replies, "Yeah, but at least he let go of Bubba!"

That's it for today my little road runners. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

The Hits Just Keep On Coming !

When it comes time to make my journal entries, I never have trouble coming up with something to say. For this, I thank our political leaders, our celebrities, our financial leaders and institutions and the occasional local misfit for providing me with enough non-sensical fodder to write a book. The asinine and sometimes criminal acts of these people continually make the top stories and headlines. I sometimes wish the media, especially the ever sensational, brown nosing, biased CNN would take more of their time to publish stories about people who actually go above and beyond the call of duty and do something good for America.

Our latest real hero, U.S. Air Captain Chesley "Sully Sullenberger" was a breath of fresh air I think America had a brief moment of elation and the faith that there are people who we can actually look up to and admire. However, my pal Victor sent me an alarming email alerting me to the fact that CNN learned that Captain Sullenberger was a Republican which prompted CNN to publish our first picture of the day.

Okay, CNN didn't actually publish this picture but I'd be willing to bet that they would have if they knew they could get away with it.

Michael Jackson has announced that he will do "just one more" final tour. Jackson will perform at a series of London concerts after a long absence from the live circuit. "I'll be performing songs my fans wanna hear. This is it ... This is the final curtain call," he told a waiting crowd. He's playing ten shows at London's O2 arena.

Tickets are expected to sell quickly and fans are fighting for front row seats hoping for possible souvenirs, including his famous sequined glove. Then again, they just may be hoping that their souvenir may possibly when Michael's nose falls off.

Bernie Madoff, accused of bilking his clients out of more than 50 billion dollars will plead guilty to the charges. He will not cooperate with prosecutors and is not seeking a plea deal. By pleading guilty, Madoff will avoid a court trial and avoid implicating his family and associates, who I guarantee were also involved. Maybe someone should hire a sniper ........

Chris Brown facing felony charges for assaulting and beating girlfriend Rihanna is on Nickelodeons "Kids Choice Awards" and Nickelodeon, despite a circulating national petition for his removal from the ballot. Way to set an example, Nickelodeon!

President Obama will sign a 410 billion dollar, pork laden, spending bill today that contains more than 9,000 earmarks. Obama's political campaign manager and speech writer, Geppetto said that the bill is being signed because Obama inherited it. Geppetto's former position prior to his joining the Obama campaign was a woodcarver and wooden puppet maker in a small Italian village.

Country Music Singer Hank Locklin, passed away on March 8. For half a century, the Grand Ole Opry star masterfully fused the Honky Tonk and Nashville sounds, making timeless hits like "Please Help Me I'm Falling" and "Send Me the Pillow You Dream On." Locklin died at his home in Alabama of undisclosed causes at the age of 91.

This Date In History: 1302; According to Shakespeare, this is Romeo and Juliet's wedding day. 1941; President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the Lend-Lease Act. It gives the US president authority to aid any nation whose defence is regarded as vital to the United States and to accept repayment.

1985; Mikhail Gorbachev is named first secretary of the Soviet Communist Party. 1990; Lithuania declares independence from the USSR. 2004; More than 180 people are killed when terrorist bombs are set off on rush-hour commuter trains in Madrid.

Picture Of The Day: It really angered me that the media jumped on Jessica Simpson's recent weight gain and it made me wonder what the assholes who were picking on her looked like and weighed. My bet is that none of them could hold a candle to her. Be that as it may, I'm happy to show you the newest Simpson photo sporting her "Daisy Dukes." I don't know about the supposed "critics", but she can go with me to AREA 51 any time she desires.

Birthdays: Torquato Tasso, Italian poet 1544, Frederick IX, king of Denmark 1899, Rupert Murdoch, Australian-born media magnate 1931, Harold Wilson, Labour politician and British Prime Minister 1916, Douglas Adams, British author, creator of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 1952.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow. 2) One of my favorite computer pastimes is playing Pogo. 3) I took algebra 1 and 2 in school, but when it came to plane geometry, I decided business mathematics was the way to go. Besides, I have a fear of flying. 4) I watch Regis and Kelly almost every morning. 5) I bought a Nehru jacket about a month before they went out of style.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A panda walked into a bar and said "I'd like a steak and a Coke please." The bartender took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill. All this seemed pretty normal until the panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter. The bartender said "You just shot my friend !" The panda calmly replied "Do you know what I am?" The bartender answered. "Yes, your a panda."

The panda said "Good, now look up 'panda' in the dictionary." And with that, the panda walked out of the bar. The bartender was a little unsure, however he was very eager to be enlighted on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary.

After a while, he found 'panda' and quickly read the definition: Panda: A black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

That's it for today my busy little bloggers. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

Read Between The Lines !

When I was young, we didn't have a lot of money and fortunately, we thought that was normal. We always seemed to find the means of getting money. On good weeks, we'd receive some sort of allowance from our parents, but not always. There were opportunities everywhere if you wanted to earn a buck. At the local construction sites, workers always left their empty soda bottles around and collecting them at two cents each was easy money.

If two cents doesn't seem like much to you, keep in mind that a Snickers bar cost a nickel and a Coca Cola cost a dime (and you got two cents for returning for the empty bottle). You could bring in ten bottles and get twenty cents. That was enough to buy a Coke and two five-cent candy bars. I say five-cent candy bars because there was also two-cent candy bars, not to mention penny candy.

Selling lemonade or Kool-Aid was also a way of making a shekel or two. It was like a competition and each group of kids had their own stands and their own products. We even baked and sold cookies and brownies. Granted, some of the adult customers must have bought something to drink at our stands based on either pity or good will, but we didn't care.

In my early teens, my pals and I discovered a plot of land that was previously farmed for strawberries. Plowed over and abandoned some two years earlier, the strawberries had returned in number. At first we just sat down and gorged ourselves but once full, we harvested all we could and went house to house selling quarts of strawberries. We made a killing and were in the money for weeks. In addition, we refrigerated enough strawberries for two months.

As older kids, we mowed lawns, washed cars or had paper routes for income. I often wonder what some of today's kids do to make their money. It seems so easy to expect it or ask Mom and Dad for it. It just makes me think the work ethic of today is not as strong as in the past. Too busy with their ipods or computers.

A Follow-up on last Friday's story about Ryanair's sadistical CEO, Michael O'Leary, who stood up during a press conference in Dublin Thursday and confirmed that yes, indeed, he's going to start charging passengers when they need to go to the bathroom.

The so-called "wee fee" is no longer under consideration; it's in development. O'Leary has asked Boeing to design toilets that won't work unless you swipe a credit card first. So not only will you have to pay to pee, you'll have to do it on credit.

This Date In History: 1796; French general Napoleon Bonaparte marries Joséphine de Beauharnais, widow of the Vicomte de Beauharnais. 1867; The United States agrees to purchase the Alaska Territory from Russia for US$7,200,000. 1916; Pancho Villa and his soldiers of the Mexican Revolution raid the border town and military camp of Columbus, New Mexico. 1959; The original Barbie doll makes her debut in American shops.

Picture Of The Day: Don't take this literally, but the pictures will explain themselves today. That is, of course, if you are clever enough to determine their meaning. Eye mean ewe halve two think two ice. Don't worry if you don't get them all.....but, I'll give you an idea of what today's pic have to say.... This one says "Holy Smoke"!

Birthdays: My pal Ginny - Happy Birthday my love 19XX, Amerigo Vespucci, Italian navigator, after whom the continents of America are named 1454, Ernest Bevin, British statesman and trade union leader 1881, Mikhaylovich Molotov, Russian revolutionary 1890, Yury Gagarin, Soviet cosmonaut 1934.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. 2) I think that anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 3) Another hint for the picture below...starts with "Dead as..." 4) Some readers don't know that there are cryptic and blatant messages and hellos in every post I make. Read between the lines. 5) My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

The HIts Just Keep On Coming:

Three doctors were driving together to the hospital when they had an accident and all three died. They found themselves in front of the Pearly Gates, with St. Peter there shaking his head. St. Peter said, "Gentlemen, I'm afraid Heaven is full - we just don't have room for you here."The first doctor said, "But, St. Peter, surely you recognize me! I developed the DNA theory, and have helped improve millions of lives through my work." St. Peter shook his head, thinking, and finally said, "You're right, we just have to let you in. Come on -- we'll make room somehow."

The second doctor said, "I know you recognise me, St. Peter. I developed the MRI, and because of my machine, millions of people with medical problems are helped." Again St. Peter is moved. "Yes, come on in. Surely you deserve to be here, too," he replies.

Finally, the last doctor pipes in, "St. Peter, You must also know me -- I'm the doctor who developed HMOs." To this St. Peter only hesitates a moment, and then replies, "Yes, you, too, have a place in Heaven -- but you can only stay 3 days."

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. The woman said, "Breast-fed." The doctor said, "Well, strip down to your waist."

She woman responded and stripped down.. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk." The woman said, "I know. I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

That's it for today my little gummy bears. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

It's Dumb News Week !

I'm continually amazed by how many stupid people and stupid ideas there are on the news each day and this week was everything I knew it could be. Here are a few of the recent things in the news:

Probably the dumbest idea comes from the no-frills Ryanair, who, in an economic move, stated that they are considering having pay toilets on their airplanes. Ryanair chief executive Michael O'Leary insisted Thursday he's serious about making passengers pay for the right to relieve themselves on flights. Personally, I hate to fly and when I have no choice, I choose the airline who has the longest no-crash record. The restroom is a subject that I don't want to have to think about as my plane soars at 30,000 feet and I sit white knuckled in my seat doing shots of Johnny Walker Black.

My first thought is what do you do if there's a lot of broke people on the plane? Do you pay according to time spent? Is there an extra charge for number 2? What if you just want to smoke a cigarette? If I am a member of the mile high club, do I get a discount for two people? These and other questions are answered in today's pictures.

Tattoo Barbie now that's a really great idea to introduce to a child. Yes Sir! Now your kid, who was making good grades in school and spoke the queens English can be "stylin." Who knows? Maybe this little ditty will help her fit in with the "in" crowd, learning to swear, shoplift and steal bicycles with the rest of her "peers".

But that's not all! As she grows each year, you can buy her Ho Barbie, due out next year as the Obama economy goes to hell in a hand basket. Of course, Pimping Ken doll is sold separately. As you lose your job and home, your child's new unexplained income will help her to purchase Crack Barbie thereby qualifying her for the new free federal health care for everyone and his uncle.

Dr. Seuss, created by Theodore Geisel, must be turning over in his grave as teachers are teaching their students to "rap" his famous "Green Eggs and Ham." When I was in school, we took Spanish and French as secondary languages.

The 410 billion dollar tax bill has 7.1 billion dollars in pork (earmarks) and is having problems being passed by the Senate. Uh, aren't these guys the same people (both parties) who attached these earmarks to the bill? I guess it's now down to my pork's better than your pork.

New York State has a limit of around $12,000 per year for people on welfare. When the stimulus bill is passed and takes effect, this amount will double to around $24,000 per year. A person going to work every day for minimum wage makes around $16,000 per year. What's wrong with this picture? Spread the wealth is what's wrong with it. Take money from people who play by the rules and work hard and give it to the people who sit on their asses and complain how everyone mistreats them.

On a serious note, my pal Linda in Washington was admitted to the hospital yesterday for cardiac related issues. My pal Robin, author of "The Yellow Brick Road", informed me via email yesterday that she didn't believe it was a heart attack and they are keeping her overnight for tests. Please keep Linda in your prayers. You can read more about Linda's condition by reading Robins journal at http://yellowbrickroadtwo.blogspot.com/

Please stop by and leave a get well message to my pal Linda at http://lindasworld-lindasworld.blogspot.com/

This Date In History: 1770; In the Boston Massacre, British troops fire on a raucous mob, killing five Americans and wounding six. 1922; Annie Oakley shoots 98 out of 100 clay pigeons, breaking the existing women's trap-shooting record. 1946; Winston Churchill declares that “from Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic an iron curtain has descended across the European Continent.” 1953; Joseph Stalin dies suddenly in Moscow.

Picture Of The Day: Toilet humor has never been beneath me, and today's no different. Yes, pay toilets on airplanes, my friends! That's today's theme. I could probably do a thirty minute stand-up routine on this subject, butt I won't. If I were with one of my lady friends on a flight with pay toilets, even Obama's stimulus bill wouldn't help me pay the bill. That's another thing....don't use the word "stimulus" on this type of flight. For parents on airplanes teaching their children the alphabet to entertain them, leave out the pee.

Birthdays: Henry II, king of England 1133. Gerardus Mercator, Flemish geographer, mapmaker, and mathematician 1512, Giovanni Tiepolo, Italian painter 1696, Lady Isabella Gregory, Irish playwright 1852, Heitor Villa-Lobos, Brazilian composer 1887, Rex Harrison (1908-1990), British actor, immortalized in the role of Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady (1956), the film adaptation of George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion 1908.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week 2) My brother Kirt and I, at ages 4 and 5, got into our family car, which was parked in our driveway on a downhill incline, to play. I pushed in the clutch and the car began to roll. My mom said she looked up and saw Kirt and I drive by the window in the family car. Fortunately, I let out the clutch and the car chugged to a halt before taking out the garage. 3) 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence? 4) I once shot my brother in the ass with a BB rifle. My father laughed and then he gave me a whipping. 5) When going to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?" The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket before he catches a cold."

The finals of the National Youth Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. Biff was a student going to one of the finest private schools in the nation. From an upper-crust family, he was well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. Willie was going into the 5th grade for the 8th time.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu." Biff was first and recited the following poem: "Slowly across the desert sand trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two, destination, Timbuktu." The audience went wild!

The crowd wondered, could Willie could top that?! The clock started again and Willie sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited: "Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three girls in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu."

That's it for today my little cherry blossums. Have a safe and great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

It's Nearing The Time To "Go To The Mattresses"

As I watch the daily newscasts from different news channels, it amazes me that each channel has its own view of what's news. If you're watching CBS, ABC or NBC their stories are more or less along the same lines of importance. Cable channels like the liberal CNN and the conservative FOX seem to have their own ideas of what's important and tend to run their stories to fit their own political preferences and ideas.

What really amazes me is that aside from CNN's Anderson Cooper and Lou Dobbs (probably the only conservative member of CNN), no one is paying attention to the U.S.-American border and myriad of horror stories happening there. In Juarez, Mexico, Drug Cartels have taken over the town. The Mayor has resigned and fled, the sheriff has resigned and there is no government there. The media is so concerned about reporting every move Obama makes and on the stimulus bill, no one seems to be noticing the dark cloud forming on our southern border. I hope that I don't have to write "I told you so" in the coming year.

In the interim, you'd better start preparing to pay more taxes. If this April 15th doesn't cost you money, it will next year. That is, of course, if you declare you income and file your taxes. If not, please disregard this paragraph and continue your fiesta with your home boys.

The stimulus package has to be paid by someone and we will probably go to China to finance it. That loan will be repaid by the tax payer (that means you). Just for the record, you already pay quite a bit to China if you shop at Walmart. I recently watched a documentary called Walmart: High Cost / Low Price. If you have a chance, watch it.

The documentary shows city governments in America giving untold tax breaks to Walmart to get them into their community. The promise that Walmart makes to these communities sounds good at first, but Walmart doesn't ever really comply with their part of the deal. When it's time for Walmart to start really paying their share of taxes to the city government, they fold their stores, move outside the city limits and rebuild there, thus avoiding the city taxes. Besides forcing all the nearby Mom and Pop stores to go out of business, they leave the small city with a giant, unrentable, empty warehouse and a town with many of it's citizens counting on working for the Walmart at low wages.

Pretty nifty, huh? They pay $.18 to the Chinese slave workers for the shirt, ship the shirt to America and sell the shirt from a tax subsidized warehouse in a small, needy American city for $11.00. Think about that the next time you shop at Walmart, that is assuming you or your family haven't already died from their lead based products and poisoned Chinese food.

This Date In History: 1681; King Charles II grants Quaker landowner William Penn a vast tract of land in North America, which is to become the colony of Pennsylvania. 1877; Tchaikovsky's ballet Swan Lake premieres at the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow, Russia. 1890; The Forth railway bridge is opened. 1966; In an interview, John Lennon announces that the Beatles are more popular than Jesus. 1975; Charlie Chaplin is knighted.

Picture Of The Day: I guess today's news kind of got under my skin a little so I went to the mattresses (you would have to seen the Godfather to understand the term). I don't know if I enlightened anyone, but I sure feel better and I didn't even break my keyboard.

Birthdays: Henry the Navigator, prince of Portugal 1394, Sir Henry Raeburn, Scottish portrait painter 1756, Alan Sillitoe, British novelist and poet 1928, Miriam Makeba, South African singer 1932.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I am military qualified for use of the 45 automatic pistol, the M-1, M-14 and M-16 assault rifles. 2) I do not hunt for any four legged creatures.....four legged! 3) I have never had a blind date although some had other maladies. 4) Upon turning 21, my first trip to Miami Jai Alai for para-mutual gaming returned winnings of $250 in an era where $150 per week was decent income. 5) The day after I won $250 at Miami Jai Alai, my father began charging me rent for living at home.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Barack Obama was elected President and is spending his first night in the White House. All of a sudden, the ghost of George Washington appears, and Obama says, "How can I best serve my country?" Washington says, "Never tell a lie." Obama says, "Well, I'll try but that's very difficult."

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears. Obama says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." Obama says, "I really don't know if I can do that."

On the third night, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appears. Obama says, "How can I best serve my country?" Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."

Vice President Joe Biden received the following message from an Indian (Native American) on a reservation: "Be careful with your immigration laws. We were careless with ours."

A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. His accountant told him. "Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper." Then he asked his lawyer the same question. The lawyer said, "Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie."

Confused, the man went to his minister, told him of the conflicting advice, and asked him what he should do. "Let me tell you a story," replied the minister. "A woman about to be married asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. Her mother told her to wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck and wool socks. But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Her friend told her to wear her most sexy negligee with a V-neck right down to her navel."

The man said, "But reverend, what does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?" The reverend said, "It doesn't matter what you wear; you're still going to get screwed."

That it's it for today my little buttercups. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

Pork? I Don't Want No Stinkin' Pork

It's incomprehensible to me that the media and politicians keep saying that the lawmakers in the House and Senate should be bipartisan. The Congress has two parties, "us or them"; a virtual Hatfield-McCoy feud that can never end simply because each party wants to rule over the other party no matter what the cost. My problem with these idiots is that they represent the left and right political views and I believe the majority of Americans represent the center or middle-of-the-road. The two party system promotes isolationism, not working together.

Webster's Dictionary defines bipartisan as "of, relating to, or involving members of two parties ; specifically: marked by or involving cooperation, agreement, and compromise between two major political parties.

Just A Note: The 2009 stimulus bill contains a plethora of earmarks, which all the Congress admits. Didn't I hear someone say that he would never sign a bill containing earmarks?

THERE IS NOT NOW AND WILL NOT EVER BE A TRUE MAJORITY RULE UNTIL AMERICA CREATES A THREE PARTY SYSTEM, THUS GUARANTEEING THAT A 2/3 MAJORITY VOTE WILL CREATE GOOD AND JUST LAWS FOR ITS CITIZENS. Let's just call it tri-partisan.....

Mexico has a drug war going on big time and the drug cartels are better armed than the Mexican police. There are several hundred deaths per week happening in Mexico, especially close to the U.S. border, where the cartels smuggle their drugs into America. The slayings include police, lawmakers, mayors, journalists and virtually anyone or anybody who attempts to stop them. There have been many kidnappings inside the United States by these drug cartels and the victims are held for ransom in Mexico.

While the U.S. government seems so preoccupied about protecting Iraq and Afghanistan from terrorists, I suggest we take our soldiers and station them at the U.S.-Mexican Border to make sure that American citizens are protected first and foremost from illegal aliens, terrorists and drug dealers and let's worry about the towel heads later.

I was sad to learn that Paul Harvey whose news and commentary segments always ended with his distinctive sign-off, "Paul Harvey....good day," died Saturday at the age of 90. Harvey died Saturday at his winter home in Phoenix, surrounded by family.

This Date In History: 1498; Vasco de Gama's Portuguese expedition reaches the island of Moçambique, the most southerly port of call for Arab merchants on the east coast of Africa. 1807; The United States Congress abolishes the slave trade, effective January 1, 1808. 1919; The Third Communist International, or Comintern, is formed by Lenin. 1958; The British Commonwealth Trans-Antarctic Expedition team lead by Vivian Fuchs reaches Scott camp after crossing the South Pole. 1969; Concorde, the first supersonic airliner, makes its maiden flight.

Picture Of The Day: I was talking today with an old friend from my wilder days and we spoke for a long while reminescing about our younger days and some of the trouble we managed to get into. As we were speaking, I remembered I had a photograph of a weekend that My brother and I were visiting him. In this picture, from left to right, is my pal Joe, my brother Kirt and myself.We were at a lake near Joe's house with my father and my mother. The catfish in the picture was caught by my father and when he got it close to shore, Joe waded into the water and grabbed the catfish.

What if you could choose some of today's celebrities to endorse or represent some of today's products? That's the idea of today's theme, "Celebrity endorsements you'd like to see."

Birthdays: Kurt Weill, German-American composer 1900, Dr Seuss, American author, artist, and publisher 1904, Mikhail Gorbachev, leader of the USSR from 1985 to 1991 1931, Lou Reed, American rock musician 1942, Dame Naomi James, New Zealand sailor 1949.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I enjoy playing poker with my pals, especially Texas Hold 'em. 2) I don't consider minor everyday occurrences to be a problem. Waking up naked, chained to a goat, now that's a problem! 3) Before I got married, I had a roomful of stuff. After I got married, I got a drawer. Now that I'm divorced, I have a roomful of bills. 4) My cat snores and refuses to admit it. 5) I have skiied Vail, Aspen, Heavenly Valley, Breckenridge, Keystone, Copper and Steamboat Springs.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Bubba was nervous about conversing with the IRS tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Bubba, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the United States. As a citizen, you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile." Bubba replied with a giant grin on his face from ear to ear, "Great! I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland, at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.

The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully so as not to risk criticism later.

As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, "Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished."Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands tall and says, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son. I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland, for 11 months without any leave and reindeer asses are beginning to look pretty good to me."

The airman continued, "I have one stripe; it's 2:30 in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump shit out of an aircraft. Now, just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?"

That's it for today my little honeydews. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !