And The Winner Is......

The Academy Awards were held last night and "Slum Dog Millionaire" won 8 Oscars including the best movie category as well as best director for Danny Boyle. Kate Winslett and Sean Penn won best female and male actor awards, Winslett for "The Reader" and Penn for "Milk". In the best supporting actors roles, Penelope Cruz took top honors with "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" and Heath Ledger won posthumously for his role in "Dark Knight."

Matt Kenseth won the California 500 Sunday, the first driver to win back to back season opening races in 12 years. Kenseth led Jeff Gordon and Kyle Busch to the checkered flag. Busch, who won both the Nascar Truck Race and Nationwide race on Saturday, ran well, but had nothing for Kenseth.

The Grocery Shopping Trip - Part One: On a recent trip to the local Publix grocery store, I made some observations that must have registered in my mind at some point in time, but remained dormant in my subconscious until recently. First and foremost, let me say that I committed the first cardinal sin of intelligent grocery shopping to wit; I did not eat breakfast before going shopping.

That said, I was wandering around the store, stocking up on necessary items and due to hunger, additional items like cookies, dark chocolate, ice cream and other decadent non-essentials.

In my euphoria, I began to notice that some people dressed to go shopping while others seemed to be oblivious of anything remotely resembling good taste. While I don't expect to see people in tuxedos and evening gowns, some semblance of decent attire should enter their minds before going out.

Men and women in flip flops and sandals with dirty feet, stained T-shirts on beer-bellied men that should have been a size larger, women whose hair looked like they woke up three minutes ago and just left it that way. The most annoying were the people who brought their entire brood, with each little imp either crying to ride in the baby seat, or demanding at the top of his lungs that his mother purchase candy or cereal. The parents, naturally, have either not enough intellect to reprimand the little bastards or, through the years, have lost what sanity they ever had.

While escaping the infamous "family that shops together", I went over to the best area of the grocery store, the deli and bakery area. If I were writing a book about grocery shopping, some of the steamiest chapters would take place there. If romance exists in a grocery store, it is the deli-bakery area that it is spawned. I like to refer to it as the provocatively dressed department.

Suffice to say, while the cold cuts and prepackaged sandwich meat area is more for the family with kids on a budget, the deli-bakery area is more the St. Tropez area for the well to do. I'll tell you more about this on Wednesday.

On Wednesday - Part Two: It's true what they say about meeting women at the super market.

This Date In History: 1820; Police arrest the plotters of the Cato Street Conspiracy, who planned to blow up the British Cabinet. 1870; The US state of Mississippi is formally re-admitted to the Union. 1885; Convicted murderer John Lee survives three attempts to hang him at Exeter Prison. His sentence is commuted, and leaving prison in 1917 he lives until 1933.

1903; The United States receives a perpetual lease on Guantánamo Bay, in Cuba. 1945; US Marines capture the highest point on the island of Iwo Jima and raise the American flag for the second time that day. 1965; Legendary film comedian Stan Laurel dies in Santa Monica, California, aged 74. 1981; Lieutenant Colonel Antonio Tejero and 200 members of the civil guard unsuccessfully attempt a right-wing coup d'état in Spain.

Picture Of The Day: It's Oscar time and the Academy Awards are spewing photographs in every medium, so I snagged a few for your dining and dancing pleasure. This particular picture is for my pleasure/.

Birthdays: Samuel Pepys, diarist and civil servant 1633, George Frideric Handel, composer of German birth but English by naturalization, one of the greatest composers of the late Baroque period and, during his lifetime, perhaps the most internationally famous of all musicians 1685, George Watts, painter and sculptor 1817, Karl Jaspers, German philosopher 1883, W. E. B. Du Bois, American historian and sociologist 1868.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My first car was a 1956 two-door ford with three speed floor transmission, blue lights under the dash and a tendency to veer to drive-in movies. 2) Your "other car" is just as crummy as my "other car." 3) In my younger, married years, I rode some loopty-loop contraption in Busch Gardens, Tampa, with my kids once....once! 4) Lake Tahoe, Nevada has always been my destination of choice. 5) I woke up one morning at a hotel-casino resort in the Bahamas with a woman I met somewhere in Miami Beach the evening before....life is good!

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Billy Bob that she would send someone out right away. Where do you live?" asked the operator. Billy Bob replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Billy Bob said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station. A voice answered, "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?" Father O'Malley said, "And the best of the day te yerself. This is Fadder O'Malley at St Brigid's. Dere's a jackass lyin dead on me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of da matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."

That's it for today my little Oscar winners. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !