It Really Is Time For A Change !

BUY AMERICAN - It's a term that I've spoken about before. The American public, already suffering from cashtration*, will be learning more about this term which has been watered down or removed from the Senate version of the stimulus package approved over the weekend. Why? Because it's illegal for the United States government to purchase only U.S. manufactured products, i.e., protectionism. *cashtration (n):The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

This comes as a result of idiotic, slanted trade treaties and agreements made by the members of the U. S. Congress, obviously affected by the bozone layer*. The European Union (EU) sent a letter to the U.S. Government stating that if the stimulus packaged contained those protectionist terms, the EU would sue. *Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

The fear that most "experts" profess is that protectionism would cause a catastrophic trade war that would hurt the U.S. economy even more. The truth is, in fact, that Canada, Europe, Japan, South Korea and China, to name a few, all have stricter importing laws than the United States. As always, U. S. exporters have problems introducing their products to these nations and our lawmakers says they can't (or won't) include a BUY AMERICAN provision in the stimulus package.

Succinctly, my answer to this is BULLSHIT! While it may be illegal for the U.S. Government to revert to "protectionism", it is quite legal for citizens of the United States to BUY AMERICAN, when possible. There's no doubt in my mind that although the squabbling, gridlocked, do-nothing Congress cannot (or will not) help American manufacturers and employers, it's citizens are not bound by any agreements and can help themselves by BUYING AMERICAN products. This, in turn, may spur other countries with unfair trade restrictions to rethink and soften their positions.

In the interim, Obama has come up with a great new plan to come up with monies to help spur and re-ignite the American economy. He's going to ask all his cabinet nominees and other appointees to file and pay their back taxes.

Personally, I think Obama and all the other candidates should give back some of the millions of dollars in political contributions that they acquired during their campaigna to reduce the size of the stimulus package. What does become of all those unspent contributions? Methinks they found people, places and things to spend it on. Then again, that's just me.

While many Americans receiving any stimulus checks will obviously be helped in this time of need, I fear that ultimately, mass cases of intaxication* will remain on the minds of America long after the stimulus checks have been spent. *Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

The House and Senate now have to reconcile the stimulus package and we'll see if the they are willing and able to cut the pork out of the stimulus or will it be spending as usual. Time will tell.

If you missed the Budweiser Shootout Saturday Night, you missed a knock down, drag-'em-out race that was not decided until the final lap. Running sometimes three abreast, during the final segment there were crashes galore as each driver seemingly was unwilling to give any ground to the other. Being a non-points, high paying race, it was a kamikaze run all the way. Chevrolet driver Kevin Harvick won on the last lap followed by Jamie McMurray in a Ford and new team owner and driver Tony Stewart in a Chevrolet. The Daytona 500 this Sunday should be a barn burner.

Don't Forget that my cat Possum S. Hemmingway (aka Shithead) is running a feature each friday called Pets Of The Week. Send me your candid pictures of your pets so we can show them. If you dont have any pets, dress up your spouse or special someone and we'll put 'em in anyway. Email me your pics at jimsulliv3@aol.com .

This Date In History:1567; Lord Henry Stuart Darnley, second husband of Mary, Queen of Scots, is murdered on this night. 1900; The Davis Cup is first won by its donator Dwight F. Davis and his doubles partner in Brookline, Massachusetts. 1916; Conscription introduced in Britain at the height of World War I. 1950; Senator Joseph McCarthy claims that the US State Department has been infiltrated by Communists, thus initiating the era of McCarthyism "witch-hunts.

Picture Of The Day: This National Geographic Picture was taken at Rondeau Provincial Park, Ontario, Canada. The image shows a fight between a redheaded woodpecker and a yellow-shafted northern flicker over a nest hole. The redheaded woodpeckers tried to chase away the intruding flickers but after this encounter, the fight was over. The flicker managed to grab the redheaded by its tongue and force it all the way down to the ground. Both birds spiraled while falling to the ground. It must have been painful as the redheaded gave up after this clash. Kinda reminds 'ya of the Denocrats and Republicans, doesn't it?

Birthdays: William Henry Harrison, ninth president of the United States 1773, Anthony Hope, novelist and playwright 1863, Amy Lowell, American poet and critic 1874, Alban Berg, Austrian composer 1885, Ronald Colman, film actor 1891, Dean Rusk, American educator and politician 1909.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Earl and Bubba, two good ole boys from Dixie are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoke to me in over 2 months." Earl spits, sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

A week after their marriage, the newlyweds from Dixie, Ed and Wanda, paid a visit to their Doctor. Ed said, "Doc, you ain't gonna believe this, but my thing's turnin purple."The Doctor said, That's unusual, let me examine you." The doctor took a look. Sure enough, Ed's "thing" really was purple.

The Doctor turned to Wanda and asked, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?" Wanda said, "Yep, shore am." The Doctors said, "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?" Wanda said, "Grape."

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they's suin' them cigarette companies fer causin' people to git cancer?" His attorney said, "Yes, Bubba, sure is true." Bubba asks, "And now someone is suin' them fast food restaurants fer makin' them fat an' cloggin' their arteries with all them burgers an' fries, is that true?" The attorney said, "That's true too.

Bubba says "And that lady sued McDonald's for millions when she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?" The attorney replied, "That's right, but why are you asking?" Bubba says. "Well, I was thinkin' . . . kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I slept with?"

That's it for today my little tater tots. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !