Say What?

I don't profess to being an English scholar, but I did pay attention in school. Since expression of ideas usually requires an idiom, I thought this was time well invested. Apparently, some people do not see it that way and the result is usually a person who sounds like a complete idiot when he or she speaks or writes.

That point notwithstanding, people have gone on in life and have been successful without a complete grasp of the English language. Remarkably, a perfect case would be former president George "Dubya" Bush, who never quite understood that the word nuclear is pronounced "nu-kle-ar" and not "nu-cu-lar." I would assume that people who cared about Bush would have taken him to the side an explained the correct pronunciation just in case he didn't want to appear as a complete ass while speaking in front of the world.

Of course, mangled English is not just a presidential option. Check out U.S. representative Corrine Brown (D-Fla) speaking to the house of representatives about the Florida Gator football team. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgbBP9Em00A

The misuse and mispronunciation of other words by some people also cause me to want to stick a pencil in their ear. Another favorite is the word "jewelry." The word is pronounced "jew-el-ry", not jew-ler-ry." My disgust for greedy, opportunist sites such as http://cash4gold.com/ owned by Jeff Aronson is further irritated by his apparent use of his wife and daughter to hawk his business. If anyone should be able to pronounce jewelry correctly, you'd think it would be the Aronsons. Perish the thought!

The commercials portray the mother-daughter team as clients who cry, "I didn't know that I could get cash for my "unwanted jew-ler-ry." I don't know about other people, but I have no "unwanted gold." I have gold that I don't wear or use often, but I want it anyway.

As for their "own refinery", which is ostensibly why they pay "top dollar", I called the 800 number at 4:00 am this morning to ask where the refinery was located. The operator said she did not know, but all the information would be in the "free packet" that she would be happy to send me (how kind of them to sent the packet free of charge). My assumption is that their "refinery" is in the basement of their home in New York City.

Finally, the word "realtor", which designates a licensed member of National Association of Realtors is pronounced "real-tor", not "real-a-tor." As a licensed real estate broker, it embarrasses me when this word is mispronounced by a licensed real estate professional. The piece de resistance came the other day while during the airing of a real estate commercial by the National Association of Realtors, the spokesperson pronounced the word as "real-a-tor." No wonder the real estate market went to hell in a hand basket!

Finally, if one took away the Blackberries, Blueberries, Strawberries, iphones, urphones, he-she-or-itphones which are used to blog on facebook, Myspace or Twitter, they would not be able to communicate their order for the number five meal at McDonalds. This, of course would completely confuse all the employees, whose only job skills require the abilty to match an order to a numbered picture on the wall. And the world falls into chaos......

Do you have a word that is often mispronounced that completely drives you up the wall? Let me know in your comments and maybe we'll write an English book for dummies with electronical gadgets.

Speaking of gadgets, Apple has a new iphone which went on sale today. I could have practically guaranteed this would happen as I recently got a new cell phone one month ago. I don't feel too bad though. The iphone is more complicated that my LG Vu and so far, I can only make calls, answer calls and take a picture. Maybe I should have listened more in electronics class and not worried so much about a real-a-tor who sold all his unwanted jew-ler-ry because of an impending nu-cul-ar conflict.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

This Date In History: 1155; Frederick I, after consolidating his power in Germany and Italy, is crowned Holy Roman emperor by Pope Adrian IV in Rome. 1812; The United States of America declares war on Great Britain in what would become known as the War of 1812.

1815; British, Prussian, and Dutch troops led by the Duke of Wellington and Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher defeat Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. 1928; Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to cross the Atlantic by air when she is a passenger on a transatlantic flight.

1940; Prime Minister Winston Churchill makes his “finest hour” speech to the House of Commons ahead of the imminent Battle of Britain. 1983; Sally Ride becomes the first American woman in space, aboard the space shuttle Challenger.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

Picture Of The Day: Themeless would best describe today's pictures from my ecletic mind. These pictures just struck me due either to their color, effect or subject matter and I thought I show them to you. The color selection was "blue," and the subject matter was "revenge." The effect was how funny I thought of the idea of portraying Captain Kirk and Spock as pimps.

Birthdays: Bartolommeo Ammanati, Italian sculptor and architect 1511, Viscount Castlereagh, British statesman 1769, Édouard Daladier, French statesman 1884, Sammy Cahn, American songwriter 1913, Paul McCartney, British singer and songwriter, the most commercially successful composer in history 1942.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I've watched so many re-runs of "Seinfeld", I'm beginning to know the dialogue by heart. 2) I wonder where the phrase, "by heart" came from? 3) Since I enjoy making chicken soup, I wanted to make other varieties of soup using fowl, but I nixed the idea when I realized that I don't like cream of asparakeet.... 4) My high school pal, Larry Schitz, was always embarrassed with his name and when he reached the age of 21, he legally changed his name to Robert Schitz. 5) If one of the swimmers in a synchronized swimming group drowns, do the rest drown too?

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal, Garnett for the following ditty...

A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.

The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all....." She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms; I can do this! She sent in her entry and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house. A man got out and said, "Carnation loved your entry so much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we will not be able to use it..."

A man was out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday night. Before too long, a cop pulled him over. The policeman walked up to the man and asked, "Have you been drinking, sir?" The man replied, "Why? Was I weaving all over the road?" The policeman, "No, you were driving splendidly. It was the really ugly girl in the passenger seat that gave you away."

A female police officer arrests a guy for drunk driving. While reading him his Miranda Rights, the female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be held against you." The drunk replied, "Boobs".

That's it for today my little lamb chops. It's Friday and I hear a faint call to happy hour at AREA 51 in the distance. Happy Father's Day to all the Dads! Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !