In The News - Some True, Some Not So True

Scotland's decision to release Abdel Baset al-Megrahi, the asshole convicted for the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie is reprehensible and outrageous. The convicted terrorist, along with others never apprehended, ended the lives of 270 people in the explosion.

Al-Megrahi was convicted in 2001 of taking part in the bombing on Dec. 21, 1988, and sentenced to life in prison. The airliner exploded over Scotland and all 259 people aboard and 11 on the ground died when it crashed into the town of Lockerbie.

He was sentenced to serve a minimum of 27 years in a Scottish prison for Britain's deadliest terrorist attack. But a 2007 review of his case found grounds for an appeal of his conviction, and many in Britain believe he is innocent

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi lobbied hard for the return of al-Megrahi, an issue which took on an added sense of urgency when al-Megrahi was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year. He was recently given only months to live.

At the military airport in Tripoli, where al-Megrahi's plane touched down, thousands of youths were on hand to warmly greet him. He left the plane wearing a dark suit and a tie and accompanied by Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi's son, Saif al-Islam Gadhafi.

Barack Obama, in a no-balls, no-guts statement, said the Scottish decision to free terminally ill Abdel Baset al-Megrahi on compassionate grounds was a mistake and said he should be under house arrest. Obama warned Libya not to give him a hero's welcome. What he should have done was to condemn Scotland's dastardly decision and make it perfectly clear to Libya that there would be dire ramifications if they treated al-Megrahi like a returning hero. But Obama, like most of his teleprompted speeches and statements, typically chose a middle of the road, make me look good, reaction.

My question is how do we know that al-Megrahi could not have surgery that would allow him to live longer? How do we know that he could not undergo chemotherapy and radiation treatments which might allow him to regain enough strength to go out as a hero and martyr and kill more innocent people of the world?

In Other News: The Afghanistan elections are being held now and preliminary results are in — Al Franken is ahead, but there are already reports of irregularities in Florida.

Paper money contains high traces of cocaine, regardless of whether or not the paper money came into direct contact with the drug. The U.S. bills take the top spot, covered in the greatest amount of the illegal powder, while Spanish notes are the most highly contaminated in Europe.

I wonder which bills contain the most cocaine? I doubt if it's hundred dollar bills...that's what they pay with and probably use the singles for the coke. This thought, in turn, makes me wonder if these are the same singles they use to put in various parts of stripper's attire. Do I smell a conflict?

Cop fired after waitress poses with rifle on car. A Texas sheriff fired one deputy and suspended three others without pay after a scantily dressed waitress holding a rifle posed for photographs on the hood of a patrol vehicle. Police said Round Rock officers were dispatched to a restaurant after someone reported the waitress with the weapon, which had been given to her by a Midland County deputy.

The incident occurred last week in the parking lot of a Twin Peaks restaurant, which promotes its "fun, friendly and sometimes flirty atmosphere!". I wonder where they got the idea to name the restaurant "Twin Peaks"?

Divorced Texas man complies with court order to return truck to ex-wife. Bubba Johnson's divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement his wife was awarded the double-wide mobile home and his pickup truck. So, as per the Dallas court order, Bubba delivered the truck to her yesterday. Bubba left his ex-wife a note on the windshield that read: If you need to get hold of me, I'll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

This Date In History: 1808; A British army led by the future Duke of Wellington defeats a French army at the Battle of Vimiero, the first major battle of the Peninsular War. 1911; The Mona Lisa, by Leonardo da Vinci, is stolen from the Louvre Museum, in Paris, and remains un-recovered for two years. 1959 Hawaii becomes the 50th state of the United States.

1961; Kenyan nationalist Jomo Kenyatta is released by the British colonial government after having spent nine years in prison for involvement in the Mau-Mau Rebellion. 1983; Philippine opposition leader Benigno Aquino is assassinated by allies of President Ferdinand Marcos as he steps off an aeroplane in Manila to end his three-year exile from the Philippines.

Picture Of The Day: I'm not too happy with the Scottish government right now but I tried to tone down my anger after I blew off some steam over the release of the Lybian terrorist.

I found this picture of the theoretically perfect public toilet and, one hand, it struck me as funny. On the other hand, I thought how nice it would be to actually find a clean public restroom any where.

Birthdays: Philip II, king of France 1165, William IV, king of Great Britain and Ireland 1765, Jules Michelet, French historian and moralist 1798, Count Basie, American jazz pianist and bandleader 1904, Princess Margaret, younger sister of Elizabeth II 1930, Peter Weir, Australian film director 1944.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. 2) My pinky toes are absolutely useless. I often wonder why there were included in the package of toes other than to serve as a bumper stop for the rest of the toes. The pinky toe's only real use is to find that part of the doorway that makes you scream in pain. 3) Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 4) I recall one day leaving the grocery store with my wife and the cashier ran out with a new broom that was left behind by one of the shoppers. The cashier said to my wife, "Excuse me ma'am, did you forget your broom?" I said, "Thanks miss, but she came by car." It wasn't that bad sleeping on the couch that evening. 5).The United States border patrol reports that more and more illegal aliens are crossing the U.S.-Mexico border simply by driving through border checks posing as families visting relatives in America. Border patrol agents are now seaching all older cars more carefully as pictured below....and that's five !

The AREA51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Cash For Clunkers: If your body was a car, you would qualify for the clunker program if: 1) You have bumps, dents and scratches. 2) Your headlights are out of focus and it's hard to see things up close. 3) Your traction is not as good as it once was. You slip, slide and bump into things even in the best of weather. 4) It takes you hours to get up to your maximum speed. 5) Every time you cough or sneeze, either your radiator leaks or your exhaust backfires.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt, my pal Garnett, and my pal Kay for their contributions to today's entry.

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because it would be a sign that he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos! As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off his weenie, clattered across the ground, and came to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up.......and all the other bells started to ring.

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher... I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked. "No, I didn't!" said the drunk. The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?" The drunk says, "No, I did not Reverend."

The preacher, in disgust, holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?" The old drunk wipes his eyes and asks the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Here's a thought and a follow-up letter on how to deal with tax increases and change.....

Dear Employees:

As the President of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is the President and that our taxes and government fees have increased in a big way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

That's it for today my little lily pads. Remember that people who drive like hell are bound to get there. It's Friday and I'm going to AREA 51 for Happy Hour and see my pals. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !