Recession? What Recession? (New Video)

The National Bureau of Economic Research has reported that the Recession, which began in December of 2007, ended in June 2009. Who knew? Where the hell have I been? If they would have told me sooner, I would have worried less about being broke while the economy went to hell.

Technically, economist may be correct. The economy must slow-down for for a number of months to be considered a recession. Conversely, the economy must rebound for the same period for a recession to be considered over. The problem is that if the economy goes down for two months, then rebounds for one month and then goes down again, the consecutive month theory begins anew.

I don't know about you, but when my business reacts like this, I'm losing money. If we are "out of the recession", then I assure you that we're beginning a new one. There are just too many people out of work and no one is spending. We see what happens, but my advice is to stay liquid and limit your spending.

Here is my newest video. I am taking a number of the songs that I have recorded in the past and putting them to video. You can see all my videos on Facebook or at my YouTube site. The YouTube Link is also on the sidebar. http://www.youtube.com/user/JimSulliv3

Remember to mute my music playlist located on the left sidebar.

The News As I See It: In her fight against childhood obesity, first lady Michelle Obama is urging communities to make fresh produce more available to young people, even in liquor stores. Uh, If your kid is hanging out at the liquor store, obesity is the least of your problems.

An openly gay Saudi Arabian diplomat is seeking asylum here in the U.S. His reason: he’s an openly gay diplomat from Saudi Arabia.

The French Senate has outlawed the burka, giving hope to U.S. lawmakers that one day soon, we will outlaw the Snuggie.

Even after the recent Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, a large number of people imply with bad jokes that the population of New Orleans isn't very smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level, in a Hurricane Zone and fill it with Democrats is a damn genius.

This Date In History: 1870; Victor Emmanuel II, the first king of modern Italy, seized the Papal States from the French. 1881; Chester A. Arthur was sworn in as the 21st president of the United States, succeeding James A. Garfield, who had been assassinated. 1973; Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in a battle of the sexes tennis match.

1998; Baltimore Oriole shortstop Cal Ripken, Jr., sat out a game, ending his consecutive game playing streak. Ripken played 2,632 consecutive games over 16 seasons. 2000; Independent Counsel Robert Ray announced the end of the Whitewater investigation, saying there was insufficient evidence to charge President Clinton and his wife, Hillary.

2001; President George W. Bush addressed the nation and a joint session of Congress about terrorism. He also named Tom Ridge as head of the new Office of Homeland Security.

Picture Of The Day: Ipanema Beach, Brazil, is today's theme and one of the loveliest spots in Brazil. Pristine beaches, beautiful women and and sun are just a few things offered in this vacation spot.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I think they should change the instructions for the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure while flying. My instructions would be: Oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. You can clean your shorts later. 2) A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. 3) If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box? 4) My ex-wife and I never thought alike. She donated money to the homeless, and I donated money to the topless! 5) I went to AREA 51 Saturday to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my ex-wife......and that's five !

Birthdays: Sir James Dewar chemist and physicist 1842, Herbert Putnam, librarian 1861, Upton Sinclair, American novelist and socialist 1878, Red Auerbach, basketball coach 1917, Dr. Joyce Brothers, psychologist 1928, Sophia Loren, actress 1934, Guy Lafleur, hockey player 1951.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Three women were having lunch. One was engaged, one was a mistress, and one was married for 20 years. They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. They agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Later that week, they met for lunch again. The engaged woman said, "The other night when my boyfriend came over, he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long."

The mistress said, "Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

The married woman said, "When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Zorro?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal, Linda in Washington, for her contribution to today's stories.

A man guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a freakin' checking account." To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" The man says, "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a freakin' checking account right now." The woman says, "Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!"

The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?" The man says, "There's no damn problem, I just won $50 million in the lottery and I want to open a freakin' checking account in this damn bank!" The manager says, "I see sir......and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, the inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. The investigator says, "Okay, Jack, you were near the scene, what happened?" Jack says, "Well, it's like this. Tyrone was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up."

The investigator, in stunned horror, says,"He was smoking in the mixing room? How long had he been with the company?" Jack says, "About 20 years, sir." The investigator says, "20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room? I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd have done." Jack replies, "It was, sir."

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules, "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want. And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules." His new bride replied, "That's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."

That's it for today my little cotton pickers. Remember, if it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !