Ok Irene - Wrap It Up !

Thankfully, Hurricane Irene did not live up the her full potential. Although the wind speed dropped dramatically, the rains and subsequent flooding are still wreaking havoc along the east coast. Some critics, both nationally and internationally, have complained that there was too much television coverage of the event.

While this is true to a certain extent, I'm quite sure that people in harm's way along Irene's path were happy to get pertinent, albeit hyped, information as the hurricane approached their particular location. Alas, but with said information, we have to watch the weather reporters give their reports in the wind and rain.

But have you noticed that no one covers a house fire by rushing into the burning building, or reports on a war by doing stand-ups in the middle of a tank battle? Maybe it was a little too much that every anchor on television decided to don the obligatory colorful-but-flimsy network-logo jacket and baseball cap to tell us that it was raining real hard and the wind was blowing fiercely. My sense of sight and hearing could have told me that without seeing the likes of Anderson Cooper, Al Roker and Geraldo Rivera.

Some critics suggested that other world problems deserved coverage as well. Things like the famine in Africa and the war in Libya were topics of discussion. Well, the media is fickle. The wedding of Prince William received doting coverage and the world continued to rotate, as well.

Personally, I am much more interested in American television covering problems in America than what the "sand people" do, and have been doing, to each other for thousands of years. Moreover, the famines in Africa have been going on for years and will continue to go on as long as their leaders steal and squander international aid.

Maybe Al Qaida can spare a little of their time to help their own in Africa. Maybe the Somali pirates could take some of the millions of ransom dollars they've stolen and buy a hamburger or two for their own people. Yeah, maybe....., but in the interim, I just watch the weather reports. At least they end, eventually.

The News As I See It: Monica Lewinsky turns 50. Can you believe it ? It seems like only yesterday, she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Prince Charles adopted a puppy. He has floppy ears and a big snout. I don’t know what the puppy looks like.

Obama will be making no more public speeches in Texas. He claims every time he gets up on stage to make a speech, some South Texas cotton farmer starts bidding on him.

This Date In History: 1533; Atahualpa, the last ruler of the Incas, was murdered as Francisco Pizarro completed his conquest of Peru. 1786; Shays's rebellion, an insurrection of Massachusetts farmers against the state government, began. 1842; The Treaty of Nanking was signed, ending the Opium Wars and ceding the island of Hong Kong to Britain.

1877; Brigham Young died in Salt Lake City, Utah. 1949; The U.S.S.R. tested their first atomic bomb. 1957; Strom Thurmond ended the longest filibuster in U.S. Senate history. He spoke for more than 24 hours against a civil rights bill; the bill passed. 1966; The Beatles played their last major live concert at Candlestick Park, California.

1991; The Supreme Soviet, the parliament of the U.S.S.R., suspended all activities of the Communist Party, bringing an end to the institution. 2005; Hurricane Katrina slammed into the U.S. Gulf Coast, destroying beachfront towns in Mississippi and Louisiana, displacing a million people, and killing more than 1,000.

Picture Of The Day: One good thing about bad weather is that it brings out the best from the photoshop gang.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Is it really a hurricane, or even just a "tropical depression," unless a TV reporter in a hooded windbreaker is flopping around in the wind and rain like a landed flounder? 2) Is it really a weather story at all unless the TV people can go outside in the storm and, while risking bodily injury, warn viewers that they shouldn't go outside in the storm and risk bodily injury? 3) Hurricanes are like women. When they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your house and car.

4) Fallen-tree footage is essential to TV hurricane coverage. The most-sought-after video is, in order of ratings: 1. Big tree on strip mall. 2. Big tree on house. 3. Big tree on car. 4. Small tree on car. 5. Assorted shrubbery on car. 5) Is there anything more compelling than listening to Geraldo Rivera, during Hurricane Gustav, who spotted a man bobbing in the water. "There's a person! Stranded! He's drowning!" Later, it turned out the "drowning" man was actually a Coast Guardsman with life jacket and tether line who was trying to secure a loosely moored vessel.....and that's five !

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Virgo - August 29th: While most people do not like Mondays, today will serve you well. I'd go as far to say I'd put a shekel or two on the lottery. Watch out for people named "Hacksaw" today. An early dinner with wine will give you a great night's sleep. Well....unless you believe what the say about "Hacksaw."

Birthdays: John Locke, English philosopher, founder of British empiricism 1632, Jean Auguste Ingres, painter 1780, Ingrid Bergman, actress 1915, Charlie Parker, musician 1920, Dinah Washington, singer 1924, Slobodan Milosevic, political leader 1941.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: It was a slow afternoon at the pharmacy when the pharmacist saw an older woman walk into the drugstore. The woman walked up to the counter and asked, "Do you sell extra large condoms?" The pharmacist replied, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" The old woman responded, "No sir, but would you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"

A woman and her baby waited as the bus pulled up to the bus stop. As she entered the bus, the driver says "Wow that is one ugly baby." The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asks "What's wrong you look mad?" She replied "I am. That bus driver just insulted me."

The old man said, "You shouldn't take that from him. He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I were you, I would take down his badge number and report him." The woman says, "You're right, sir. I think I will report him." The old man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number and I'll hold your monkey for you."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off, says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year, tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked.

The young man looked up, cranked the window down and said, "Yes, officer?" The policeman asked, "What are you doing?" The young man replied, "I'm reading a magazine." Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "She's knitting."

The officer then asked the young man, "How old are you?" The young man said, "I'm nineteen." The policeman asked, "And how old is she?" The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen."

That's it for today my little pop tarts. Remember, one-seventh of your life is spent on Monday. Make it a good day! More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !