Ten Years Later

I felt so very, very small as I watched Sunday's observance of the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on New York City, the Pentagon and in the air over Pennsylvania. Moreover, the services were so moving that, to a degree, I found myself reliving the horror and bewilderment of that day in 2001.

One of the things that touched me were the many young children of victims who were among those selected to read the names of the people who died that fateful day. Some of the children were too young, some not even born and none of those children will ever know their father or mother.

It was a stirring day, watching the pomp and circumstance and knowing deep down, there was the possibility of yet another terrorist attack on America. Still, everyone threw their shoulders back and held their head high as the victims of September 11th were honored. It was a day that I was extremely proud to be an America. God bless us all and God bless America.

The News As I See It: According to the latest L.A. Times poll, Seventy-five percent of Californians believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. Sixty percent of Californians are so disillusioned, they're thinking about moving back to Mexico.

The World Economic Forum, which ranks economies, moved the United States down to 5th place. But we’re still the fattest, so that’s good. Switzerland came in 1st place. I guess those little army knives are selling like crazy.

Michele Bachmann said she would do away with the Department of Education if elected president. In fact, if there’s no Department of Education, it would make it easier for her to be elected.

The virus in the movie "Contagion" is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I’m thinking about Obama.

Speaking of Obama da prez introduced his $447 billion jobs plan. A lot of economists say it could work — if we had $447 billion.

This Date In History: 1609; Henry Hudson began his exploration of the Hudson River. 1953; Future President John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline Bouvier. 1977; South African black civil rights leader Steven Biko died while in police custody. 1992; Dr. Mae Carol Jemison became the first black woman in space aboard the Space Shuttle Endeavour. 1999; Indonesia announced it would allow an international peacekeeping force to restore order to East Timor.

Picture Of The Day: Some of the more striking pictures from yesterday's observance of the September 11th attacks on America.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Tomorrow is "Bring Your Son or Daughter to the Unemployment Office Day." 2) I never knew why my father spent so much time in the garage until I got married. 3) When it comes to racism, you hear people say, "I don't care if people are white, black, purple or green." Hold on, purple or green? Come on now, you gotta draw the line somewhere. 4) I don't even care if you're a master carpenter, you never realize how big 9 centimeters really is until you've observed your wife giving birth. 5) I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river and, at the last minute, I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.....and that's five !

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Virgo - September 12th: Get back into your rhythm and make sure you're on the right track. Take a friend to lunch but no martini's. You know what happened the last time. Romance today is probably not in the cards, but what the hell, who has sex on Monday anyway?

Birthdays: My sweet pal Nury - Happy Birthday Baby! 19XX, Richard Jordan Gatling, inventor 1818, Mary Ann Dyer Goodnight, philanthropist 1839, Henry Louis Mencken, editor, author, and critic 1880, Maurice Chevalier, singer and film actor 1888, Alfred A. Knopf, American publisher 1892, Ben Shahn, painter 1898, Jesse Owens, track star 1913.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two old Jewish men would see each other every morning in their walk in the park. Murray finally decided that he would introduce himself and said, "Good morning sir. I see you every morning here so I though I'd say hello. My Name is Murray." The other man replied, "Nice to meet you Murray, my name is Myron." As it turned out, both Murray and Myron not only lived in the same apartment building, but on the same floor.

A few days after meeting, Murray and Myron came out of their apartments at the same time for their morning walk in the park. After greeting, the two walked to the elevator. Suddenly, a beautiful white cat came running down the corridor and stopped at feet of Myron. Myron reached down, picked up the cat and gently stroked it.

Around the corner, hurriedly came the widow Lipschitz, frantically searching for her cat. When she saw Myron holding the cat, she gratefully cried, "Oh thank God, you've found him." Taking the cat from Myron's arms, she said, "Thank you so much! Do you like pussy cats?" Myron replied, "Yes, I do."

With that, the widow Lipschitz and her cat walked back to her apartment. Murray turned to Myron and said, "Oy, Myron, vat a way with the women! I think the widow Lipschitz may have an eye for you." Myron said, "No, I think not. She doesn't even know me." Murray said, "Vat, she doesn't know you? You hoid the suggestive way vat she said." Myron replied, "She vas just happy to find her cat. Trust me, she doesn't know me!"

Myron says, "She vas looking at you with that eye. So, vy do you think that vay?" Myron says, "She said, 'Do you like pussy cats?'" Murray says, "So...?" Myron says, "So, my name isn't Katz, it's Cohen!"

Two psychiatrists were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes. The speaker said, "Just to establish some parameters, Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" The student responded, "Sadness." The speaker said, "Mr Biggs, the opposite of depression?" Mr. Biggs replied, "Elation."

The speaker then turned to Bubba and asked, "And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?" Bubba replied, "I believe that would be giddyup."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Victor for his contribution to today's stories.

Two women were gossiping at bus stop and one woman says to the other, "You know, Martha's husband drinks a six pack of beer every Sunday while he's watching football. I think he's got a "problem."

A drunk sitting on the bus bench next to them, turns and says, "Hey lady, drinking a six pack of beer on a Sunday afternoon is not a problem. A problem is waking up naked chained to a goat."

A Public Service Announcement From Jimmy's Journal: The nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus is called the Anal Optic Nerve and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eyes.

A man's small grandson got lost at the shopping mall. He approached a uniformed security guard and said,"I've lost my grandpa!" The guard asked, "What's his name?" The lad replied, "Grandpa" The guard smiled, then asked, "What's he like?" The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Jack Daniels whiskey, and women with big tits."

That's it for today my little poppy seeds. Remember, a duck's opinion of you is influenced by whether or not you have bread. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !