Mama Don't Take My Kodachrome Away

An old friend may soon go the way of the dinosaurs as Eastman Kodak borders on the verge of bankruptcy. Stock prices have plummeted to less than one dollar a share and things don't look well. Back in the day, we didn't use the word "camera" very often. We just referred to it as the "Kodak."

In a new computer age, resistance to change is futile and companies must constantly adapt and update their products to assure continued success. Most of today's smart phones are quite caple of taking a good picture and many people rely on the instant photograph access for spur of the moment pictures.

Still, Kodak has been a reliable friend over the years and perhaps they will still be able to pull out of their current nose dive. Time will tell.....

General Electric is planning to move its 115-year-old X-ray division from Waukesha, Wisconsin, to Beijing. In addition to moving the headquarters,
the company will invest $2 billion in China and train more than 65 engineers and create six research centers. This is the same GE that made $5.1 billion in the United States last year, but paid no taxes. The same company that employs more people overseas than it does in the united States.

So let me get this straight. Obama appointed GE CEO Chairman Jeff Immelt to head his commission on job creation (job czar). Immelt is supposed to help create jobs. I guess Barry forgot to tell him in which country he was supposed to be creating those jobs.

The News As I See It: Rick Perry said was quitting the Republican race, but then the next morning, he said he's staying in. Hmm......going back on his word? Maybe he'd make a good president after all.

Rick Santorum’s campaign is celebrated the Iowa caucuses with a pizza party. Sadly, it was delivered by Herman Cain.

France apparently passed a new law that makes it harder to become a French citizen. Most people just get lazy, give up and surrender. This, of course, automatically qualifies them to become a French citizen.

The History Channel is planning a new 12-hour miniseries about the evolution of humans. If you missed the episode on Neanderthals, you can just watch the season premiere of "Jersey Shore".

This Date In History: 1540; King Henry VIII of England married his 4th wife, Anne of Cleves. 1759; George Washington married Martha Custis. 1838 Samuel Morse gave the first public demonstration of the telegraph. 1912; New Mexico became the 47th state in the United States.

1919; Former president Theodore Roosevelt died in Oyster Bay, New York. 1987; University of California astronomers first witnessed the birth of a galaxy that contained 1 billion stars. 1994; Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan clubbed on leg by men including husband of rival skater Tonya Harding.

Picture Of The Day: Time has a way of marching on but it's still sad to see the condition of the Kodak company. Faded memories.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My credit is so bad that Mastercard is now sending me my bills in Spanish. 2) This is absolutely the last year I buy another one of those stupid Mayan calendars. 3) When I was married, I took my wife everywhere, but she always found her way back. 4) The weather is here, wish you were beautiful. 55 I was sitting in AREA 51 last week and I asked a lovely Oriental girl if she knew what an erection was. She said, "Of course, it's when we vote".....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Capricorn - January 6th: Great times are in store for you tonight. Remember to gas up your car 'cause I'd hate to see you run out of gas on your way home. Don't pet goats tonight. Romance will be the farthest thing from your mind but the chances are 50-50 if you really want to know. Buy a lottery ticket!

Birthdays: Jackie and Natasha are celebrating birthdays today. Happy Birthday ladies! 19XX, Heinrich Schliemann, archaeologist 1822, Carl Sandburg, American poet and biographer 1878, Tom Mix, actor 1880, Khalil Gibran, poet and novelist 1883, Abram Nicholas Pritzker, entrepreneur 1896, Loretta Young, actress 1913, Danny Thomas, actor, singer, dancer 1914 E L Doctorow, novelist 1931, Rowan Atkinson, actor 1955, Nancy Lopez, golfer 1957.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: On their honeymoon, the new husband told his bride, "I have a confession to make that I should have made before, but I was concerned that it might affect our relationship. His new bride asked lovingly, "What is it?" He said, "I'm a golf fanatic. I think about golf constantly. I'll be out on the golf course every weekend, every holiday, and every chance I get. If it comes to a choice between your wishes and golf, golf will always win."

His new bride pondered this for a moment and said, "I thank you for your honesty. Now in the same spirit of honesty, I should tell you that I've concealed something about my own past that you should know about. The truth is, "I'm a hooker." Her husband said, "No problem, just widen your stance a little, overlap your grip and that should clear it right up."

During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related paraphernalia.

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!" Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said nursing would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

The Air Force pilot shook his head and in true pilot fashion said. "And to think that all these years I've just been chewing gum."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pals Deb and Victor for their contributions to today's stories.

There was a woman who was very beautiful, except she had a hare lip. The woman was so embarrassed by her hare lip that she went into the woods to live all alone in a cabin, where no one would ever see her hare lip. At the same time, there lived in the city a man with a wooden eye. He only had one real eye, but he was too poor to buy a glass eye, so he had a fake wooden eye made.

He figured no normal woman would go out with him, but he heard about the woman with the hare lip and he thought maybe she would go out with him. So he wandered through the woods until he found her cabin and he knocked on the door. He was still worried about his wooden eye, but he figured she wouldn't say anything because she'd be so sensitive about her hare lip.

He knocked on the door, introduced himself and said, "Would you like to go out with me?" She was thrilled, because no one had ever asked her out before. He said again, "Would you like to go out with me?" and she said, "Would I? Would I?" And he said, "Hare Lip! Hare Lip!" And neither of them were heard from again.

A blonde motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" The blonde said, "Yes, do you need a lift?" The man said, "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck."

He continued, "My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble." The blonde said, "Sure, I'll be happy to help out.".

So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car, were carefully strapped into their seat belts and off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

The truck driver said, "What are you doing here? I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo." The blonde said, "I did, but we had money left over, so now we're going to Sea World."

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, eating a snack cake, while her dad gets his haircut. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." The little girls says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs, too."

That's it for today my little dixie cups. Remember, the sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !