What's New Pussycat?

You may have noticed some changes to Jimmy's Journal. Some are on purpose, some not. On Friday, a storm knocked out my Internet connection as I was attempting to set up and configure my new computer. At the same time, I was trying to finish the installation of my new music playlist.

My new computer, as all new computers are wont to be, does not even remotely run in the manner I was accustomed to and moreover, it did not seem to want me to log in to my journal to write and edit same. During this period, I inadvertently changed the journal theme (as you can plainly see) and now I have a new theme and everything has changed.

So, as you may have noticed, I was unable to post on Friday and since then, I have been attempting to finish putting everything into place which has tried my patience to its fullest. Imagine, if you will, that you tied your shoes the usual way on Friday, just like any other Friday, and they exploded. This was the beginning of my weekend.

One of the newer gadgets is my playlist, now located on the right sidebar. Everything is on the right sidebar now as the geniuses who created this template probably had a dislike for democrats and neglected to provide a template with a left sidebar. Leaning right myself, I will be able to make the adjustment.

The new playlist plays automatically and you can turn it off and on, adjust the volume and select different songs. Some of my old favorites are still available but there were a few tunes that I could not add because they were not available. You can also now click the upper left corner of the playlist and see the video that accompanies the song.

This next week, I will be continue to tweak and adjust the journal until I am happy with it. Let me know what you think.....  

The News As I See It: San Francisco Giants pitcher Matt Cain  recently threw his team's first-ever perfect game against the Astros. The Astros went three hours without making it to first base or as I used to call that......a date.

Obama gave a major speech last week where he defended his handling of the economy. There were tons of people in the audience since nobody had to be at work.

Guantanamo Bay is getting millions and millions of dollars of upgrades and renovations. In fact, they're not even calling it a detention camp anymore. It's now a gated community.

In New Orleans, the daily newspaper has eliminated 84 newsroom jobs. But the publisher said those positions could be reinstated if this whole Internet news thing turns out to be a fad.

Henry Hill, the mobster who became an FBI informant and was the basis for the lead character in the movie "Goodfellas," has died at the age of 69 due to an undisclosed illness. I believe that illness was "informant-itis."

Republican senator John McCain and Democratic senator Harry Reid have called for the federal government to step in and help regulate the sport of boxing. That's rich! A corrupt and unethical body attempting to regulate another corrupt and unethical body.

This Date In History: 1812; The War of 1812 began. 1815; Napoleon was defeated at the Battle of Waterloo by British, German, and Dutch forces. 1873; Suffragist Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote in the 1872 presidential election. 1928; Aviator Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean. She completed the flight from Newfoundland to Wales in about 21 hours. 1948; The United Nations Commission on Human Rights adopted its International Declaration of Human Rights. The General Assembly would give it final approval on December 10, 1948. 1983; Sally Ride became the first American woman in space.

Picture Of The Day: I'm sticking with Paula's turtles. The one here is playing "hide and seek."

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to "Until debt do us part". 2) Computers are the perfect thing for people who don't feel that their romantic life provides them with enough frustration. 3) Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were the President or a member of Congress. Never mind, that's redundant. 4) You know you're from the South when you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side. 5) If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, he's still wrong.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 18th: The stars indicate that walking under ladders is a bad idea for you this month. Fire is a hazard you won't want to ignore this week, so watch out for sparks or smoke coming from your ladder. If you happen to encounter an alien from outer space and he asks you to take him to your leader (you see where this is heading, don't you?), take him to your ladder and feign ignorance understanding foreign languages. Chance of romance is 12.53 percent.

Birthdays: Edward Scripps, newspaper publisher 1854, Philip Barry, playwright 1896, Anastasia, grand duchess 1901, Paul McCartney, singer songwriter 1942.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The first old lady said she enjoyed sex all the time, and just as much as ever. The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was.

The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom he gets turned on and has his way with her.

The second old lady decides to try this approach so that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. her husband comes into the bedroom takes one look and says, "For God's sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in."

There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar. The Engineer said, "Hey bartender, I'll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there." The bartender responded, "I'm sorry sir but that guy's a commie and we don't serve his kind around here."

The Engineer said, "Well, you'd better because if it weren't for that guy, I wouldn't be here. You remember that mine that caved in, well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don't believe me, look at the top of his head and you'll see that it's flat from holding the roof up."

The bartender skeptically served the commie his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer and said, "I saw the flat spot on his head but I also couldn't help noticing the bruising under his chin. What is that all about?" The engineer replied, "Oh, that's where we put the jack."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Victor for his contribution to today's stories.

A blonde was flying in a two-seater airplane when the pilot has a heart attack and dies. Frantically, she calls out, "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying, "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath and everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

The blonde says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat." After a brief moment of silence, the voice on the radio says, "Repeat after me......Our Father, Who art in Heaven…."

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really pissed. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it had better be there!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.......Bob has been missing since Friday.

Obama walks into a New York bar with a frog on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, that's cool ! Where did you get it?" The frog answers, "In Chicago, there's thousands of them up there."

That's it for today, my little June bugs Remember, follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !