TIME 2012 Person Of The Year Nominees

TIME's Person of the Year 2012 finalists include Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani girl who was shot in the head by the Taliban on her school bus for daring to blog about her desire to go to school without fear and Sandra Fluke, "the poster child for whiny entitlement" who complained, "Without insurance coverage (read Obamacare), contraception, as you know, can cost a woman over $3,000 during law school." Attention Walmart shoppers: Price check - Contraception, aisle 5.

Really? Just when you think Time magazine can’t make any more of a mockery of itself, they nominate Sandra Fluke, contraception advocate extraordinaire, as a candidate in their Person of the Year 2012 poll. Leave it to Time to make her its Person of the Year. Of course, in the year of the dependent American voter, they might be right.

At first, the Pakistani girl blogged anonymously about her desire to go to school without fear in a part of the country where the Taliban had once imposed strict Shari'a law. Then, with the surprising encouragement of her devout Muslim father, Malala Yousafzai wrote in her own name and revealed her face to the world, a symbol of young women around the world seeking empowerment. She became the subject of a documentary and a celebrity of sorts in the world of nonprofit organizations.

Who knew that such prominence would put her life at risk? On Oct. 9, 2012, Taliban gunmen boarded her school bus, sought her out and shot her in the head. Eventually airlifted to a hospital in Britain, she survived her severe wounds. In the meantime, Malala, now 15, has become an inspiration not only in her native Pakistan, where the culture wars over women's rights and religious diversity have taken many violent turns, but all around the globe.

Malala is now a first name that hundreds of thousands of people know. But in a way, hers is an even more moving story, because the saga is not just of a brave young girl but also of a father willing to risk local opprobrium to raise his daughter, not a son, as a proud example for the world.

Person of the year? Hmmm..... Malala Yousafzai or Sandra Fluke? A difficult decision.....

Angus T. Jones, the young actor who has played the role of the somewhat dim-witted "Jake" in the sit-com "Two And A Half Men" for 13 years recently found himself at the center of a major controversy triggered by statements he’d made in a video testimonial for Forerunner Christian Church. His comments, in which the 19-year-old actor referred to the sit-com as "Filth" and urged viewers to "stop watching it," went viral.

Although rumor has it that Jones was suffering with alcohol and drug problems, he needs to wake up. The young actor makes $350,000 per episode (about 8 million dollars a year). He certainly needs to research what happened to several child actors after their cuteness wore off, the big money stopped coming in and their lives were in shreds in their later years.

Jones has since come to his senses and apologized for his remarks.

The News As I See It: A group of terrorists have hijacked a plane full of lawyers. They have called down to ground control with their list of demands and added that if their demands aren’t met, they will release one lawyer every hour.

We're headed for a fiscal cliff and Obama is in a tough spot. The Democrats did so well on Election Day, he's running out of Republicans he can blame this on.

Joe Biden recently celebrated his 70th birthday. He made a birthday wish and right after blowing out the candles, he asked everyone, "Am I invisible yet?"

Israel’s Iron Dome defense is intercepting ninety percent of Hamas' missiles. Usually to see that many interceptions you have to watch the New York Jets play.

France says the U.S. hacked its government computers. Cyberwar is new to them. France has never surrendered online before.

This Date In History: 1520; Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan passed through the strait which bears his name to the Pacific ocean. 1919; American-born Lady Astor became the first woman to take a seat on the British Parliament.

1942; Almost 500 people died in the Coconut Grove nightclub fire in Boston. 1943; Churchill, Roosevelt, and Stalin met in Tehran for their first meeting during World War II.

1964; The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 4 launched, on its way to the first successful mission to Mars. 1990; Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Great Britain. John Major took over.

Picture Of The Day: That feeling of safety when mom is near.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. 2) I don’t have a license to kill, but I do have a learner’s permit. 3) Where there’s a will, there are relatives. 4) My ex-wife dressed to kill. She cooked the same way. 5) Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius: In spite of yourself, this day should be very lucrative and fulfilling. But I sometimes wonder, have you ever felt that you're a shopping bag and life is one big supermarket? If you can get engrossed in that analogy, think of me as the store announcer. "Clean up in aisle 12".

Birthdays: John Bunyan author 1628, Friedrich Engels socialist 1820, Anton Rubinstein pianist, composer 1829, John Wesley Hyatt inventor 1837, Henry Bacon architect 1866, Berry Gordy, Jr. record company founder and executive 1929, Randy Newman singer, composer 1943, Ed Harris actor 1950, Jon Stewart TV personality 1962.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash."

The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are so generous! I didn’t even know you had a farm. Where is it?"

With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook…"

An old couple is on a walk when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman’s head. The old woman says, "Yech! Get some toilet paper." The old man replies, "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Her mom replies, "No, she is in heat." The little girl asked, "What's that mean?" Her mom said, "Go ask your father, he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat and to come to you." Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

He took a rag, put a small amount of gasoline on it and daubed the dog's backside with it. He said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?" The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars."

The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where’s my hundred dollars?"

The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

That's it for today, my little fruit loops. Remember, an optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. Happy hour in AREA 51 is once again iffy. Rough Tuesday night.....

That's it for now. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !