New York City's Napoleon Bloomberg Roars Again

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg must have one hell of a "Napoleon Complex." The diminutive 5' 6'' Bloomberg's "Big Gulp" law was dismissed March 12th by Manhattan state Supreme Court Justice Milton Tingling calling the law "arbitrary and capricious."

Undeterred by the collapse of his big-soda ban, Mayor Bloomberg launched a new health crusade Monday, proposing a law to forbid stores from publicly displaying cigarettes and other tobacco products.

Packs of cigarettes are a common sight in bodegas and delis. A Health Department report found that 80% of stores that sell cigarettes devote most of their space behind the register to tobacco displays.

What does Bloomberg care? He's a bored millionaire who has decided that he, and only he, knows what's best for New York City residents. Who cares how many small businesses it hurts. What are the stores going to put in place of tobacco? Candy? Condoms? Potato chips? Yeah, there's some healthy options.

2008 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was not in favor of gay marriage. Probable 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is now in favor of gay marriage. Clinton's flip-flop opinion is being described by the liberal media as "evolving." Sounds to me  like someone is subscribing to moves taken from the Obama presidential campaign playbook. That is to say: Tell them anything to get elected, then simply renege.

The News As I See It: A 28-year-old woman from Serbia has a rare brain condition where she sees everything upside down. The good news? She's now been given a job at the White House as President Obama's economic adviser. She sees everything upside down. In fact, she thinks NBC is at the top of the ratings.

The new Pope was inaugurated this week. All of the world leaders were there. Joe Biden represented the United States. Germany was represented by Angela Merkel. And Dennis Rodman was there, of course. The Pope is urging compassion for those less fortunate. Of course, that means the poor, the indigent, and the oppressed and also Carnival Cruise passengers.

Happy belated St. Hangover's Day everybody. It's been three days since St. Patrick's Day, so if you're just waking up now, I'm sorry, I don't know whose apartment you're in.

To celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, Carnival Cruise had all their toilets overflowing with green water. The legend of St. Patrick is that he drove all the snakes out of Ireland — and they came to the United States and became NBC executives.

The guy who plays Satan on the History Channel's "The Bible" looks like Obama. Even Rush Limbaugh was outraged. He was like, "Satan's ears aren't that big!"

Tiger Woods announced he is dating Lindsey Vonn. Wow, what a new concept! A black guy dating a stupid blond white woman. Just when you thought Lindsay Lohan had a lock on the title of Lindsay with the worst judgment, along comes Lindsey Vonn.

Tiger said, "We have become close and are now dating. We thank you for your support and respecting our privacy." And the best way to keep it private is to post about it on Facebook. It's nice to see Tiger with a woman not holding a subpoena for a change.

There’s talk that "Today" show host Matt Lauer is the top choice to replace Alex Trebek when he leaves "Jeopardy." Or as Alex Trebek put it, "Who is Matt Lauer?"

This Date In History: 1602; The Dutch East India Company was established. During its 196-year history, it became one of the world's most powerful companies. 1727; English physicist, astronomer Sir Isaac Newton died in London at age 84. 1852; Harriet Beecher Stowe's "Uncle Tom's Cabin" was published.

1969; John Lennon married Yoko Ono in Gibraltar. 1985; Libby Riddles became the first woman to win the Iditarod. 1990; Namibia becomes an independent nation. 1995; Two members of the Japanese cult Aum Sinrikyo released poisonous gas in a Tokyo subway stop during rush hour, killing 12 people and sending over 5,000 to the hospital for treatment.

1999; Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones became the first to fly a hot-air balloon nonstop around the world. 2003; Ground troops entered Iraq and a second round of air strikes against Baghdad was launched.

Picture Of The Day: "Woodland Nymph"

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Today is going so slowly my life is flashing before other people's eyes. 2) Whether you believe you can or whether you believe you can't, you're absolutely right. 3) To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 4) When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. 5) Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Pisces - March 20th: Most of your body is going to become an erogenous zone later this week and you might be awkwardly caught out when even the slightest, even accidental, touch causes you to wet yourself.

Birthdays: My nephew Jason - Happy Birthday ! 19XX, Henrik Ibsen, Norwegian dramatist and poet 1828, Frederick W. Taylor, industrial engineer 1856, B. F. Skinner psychologist 1904, Alfonso Garcia Robles, statesman, Nobel Prize winner 1911, Carl Reiner, actor, writer, director 1922, Fred Rogers, television personality 1928, Bobby Orr, hockey player 1948, William Hurt, actor 1950, Spike Lee, filmmaker 1957, Holly Hunter, actress 1958.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man goes over to his brother's house, all bruised and his clothes torn. His brother says, "Man, where have you been?" The guy says, "I just got back from burying my mother-in-law,"

His brother asks, "How did you get all bruised and your clothes torn from burying your mother-in-law?" The guy replied, "She wouldn't lie still!"

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls.

They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man wanted an attack dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.

After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog. He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing at the cage. "He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer. "Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have something better in mind for you."

They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they found an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage. "Ah," said the buyer. "This must be the dog you were referring to earlier." "Well, no," said the owner. "I have something better in mind for you." The men continued their tour.

Eventually, they came upon a fairly large dog that was lying quietly on his side, licking his butt. He did not seem to notice as the men approached. "This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.

The buyer was flabbergasted. "You're joking!" he exclaimed. "This dog seems quite tame. He doesn't act at all like an attack dog at all. Hell, he's just lying there, licking his ass!" "I know, I know," said the owner. "But you see, he just ate a lawyer, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."

A guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. When he opens the door, he encounters two sheriff's deputies, one of whom asks if he is married and, if so, whether the deputy can see a picture of the wife. The guy says "sure" and shows him a picture of his wife.

The deputy looks carefully at the picture and then gravely says, "I'm sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck." The guy says, "I know, but she has a great personality, is an excellent cook and lets me play golf whenever I want to!"

That's it for today, my little billy goats. Remember, there's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. I'm off to AREA 51 for happy hour.

That's it for now. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !