The Miranda Delimma

The odds of capturing any future terrorists alive is waning and will continue to wane until the government and lawmakers can mutually agree to a method of arresting and questioning said terrorist suspects. This particular way of thinking is on the increase and, unfortunately, the lives of innocent suspects who may have found themselves compromised, are at risk.

The politics of the right to be Mirandized and what constitutes an enemy combatant will only cloud the future as to whether to attempt to capture a suspect dead or alive.

The reasoning is quite clear as it is of major importance to question any suspect(s) to ascertain if other groups or pending activities may be on the horizon.

Nidal Hassan, the asshole that has been charged in the mass shooting of soldiers at Fort Hood with 13 counts of premeditated murder and 32 counts of attempted murder isn't scheduled to begin trial until May 29, 2013. The shooting has been classified as "workplace violence" instead of a terrorist act.

So what's the incentive of capturing a murder suspect alive? The answer is there is no reason! When in doubt, shoot first, ask questions later !

The News As I See It: There's a big movie opening, one of those science fiction epics. It's called "Oblivion" and stars Tom Cruise. Tom is an intergalactic soldier who spends his days fighting aliens. I have no idea what he plays in the movie.

I think "Oblivion" is going to be a return to form for Tom Cruise. Because he hasn't been in a big-budget fantasy project like this since . . . his marriage.

It's hard to believe that Tom Cruise is 49 years old. He's the same age Wilford Brimley was when he played an old guy in "Cocoon."

"Oblivion" takes place in the year 2077. Humans have abandoned earth. But strangely, Jay Leno is still hosting "The Tonight Show."

This Date In History: 1500; Pedro Alvares Cabral discovered Brazil and claimed it for Portugal. 1509; Henry VIII became king of England. 1616; The Spanish poet Cervantes died in Madrid. (Some sources say April 23.)

1864; Congress authorized the inscription "In God We Trust" on coins minted as U.S. currency. 1889; The land rush in Oklahoma began when it was opened to settlers. 1970; The first Earth Day was observed.

1994; Richard M. Nixon died of a stroke at the age of 81. 2000; Armed immigration agents took Elian Gonzalez from the Miami home of his relatives to reunite him with his father.

Picture Of The Day: .....and now we know.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! 2) The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 3) The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. 4) Quit blaming your smart phone's auto-correct! You meant to say "furbenglurbrn." 5)  do not Twitter or tweet although I once slept with a lovely English bird who chirped.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Taurus - April 22nd: The morning will be full of fun and sunshine. Plants may be out to get you today, so look to buying some kind of weed-killer. When "taking out the trash" remember that blood stains don't easily wash out of white shirts. Your ability to think up lies on the spot may be challenged this week. Don't be afraid to run really fast - problems will catch up, but at least you've given yourself a few minutes to think up some bullshit explanation.

Birthdays: Isabella I, Spanish queen of Castile and León (1474–1504) 1451, Henry Fielding author 1707, Immanuel Kant philosopher 1724, Vladimir Lenin Russian revolutionary, 1870, Vladimir Nabokov author 1899, J. Robert Oppenheimer nuclear physicist 1904, Charles Mingus jazz musician 1922, Bettie Page model, pinup 1923, Jack Nicholson actor 1937.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A married couple scheduled their medical examination on the same day so that they could answer any questions the doctor might have concerning their partner. After the husband's exam, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concern that you would like to ask me?"

The old man. "In fact, I do. After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly." The doctor said that he would examine the wife, and then report back to the man.

After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?" She replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in El Paso, Texas, while awaiting their respective flights. One is an American Indian, another is a Texas cowboy and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived in the U.S. from the Middle East. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures.

Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing, but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few." The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward and sneers "Once my people were few and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

The cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth, and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt for his contribution to today's stories.

A man and his wife were hiking when a large brown bear came charging out of nowhere. Evidently it was a female because they had noticed two cubs earlier in the hike. Fortunately the man had a small jetfire pistol which may have saved his life.

Just one round to his wife's kneecap and that was all it took. The bear got his wife and he was able to escape by briskly walking away. He tearfully said it was of the best firearms in his collection.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

A voice answered, "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?" Father O'Malley said, "And the best of the day te yerself. This is Fadder O'Malley at St Brigid's. Dere's a jackass lyin dead on me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of da matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."

Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, I'm in a meeting. Stomach: I will now demonstrate a whale's mating call.....

That's it for today, my little fireflies. Remember, we never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

That's it for now. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !