Parenthood 101 - Growing Up In Hialeah Florida

I am the the oldest of three siblings in my family which can be rewarding or punishing, depending on the situation. Most colleges didn't offer Parenting 101 back in the day and most parents wouldn't subscribe to it anyway. The art of raising a family is usually a mixture of how one is raised by one's own parents and using the same method on your own brood. This method is usually combined with trial and error.

Being the first born, most of the trials and errors were exercised with me being the guinea pig. The fortunate part about ages one through five is that memories are faint and I'm still alive and well, so my parents must have done most things right.

As my brother and then, sister came into being, doting on the only child (me) ceased to exist. Additional siblings created a pecking order which was sometimes good and other times bad. I was handed a responsibility (by default) of being the oldest and therefore the binding obligation to "Keep an eye on my brother and sister."

Thus, if unbeknownst to me, my brother and sister disassembled the refrigerator or broke anything, I bore part of the culpability. By the same token, I was not allowed to use corporal punishment on either of them, an idea generally overlooked and not heeded when it came to my parents doling out punishment to we kids.

While getting a whipping was rare in our family, when it occurred, we were mortified. Generally, if Dad was giving the whipping, the mental anguish was horrible and painful as well. The result, however, was the elimination of the wrongdoing from my choice of future actions.

Mom's whippings were not as as bad, but she chose an old custom handed down over the years from her side of the family. We were sent to find the switch that she would use to whip us.

One's first thought would be to choose a wimpy switch but if the switch didn't meet Mom's expectations, then she would go get her own one. Her choice, of course, bordered between a 2 by 4 or the tree itself (perhaps I exaggerate a bit). Nevertheless, you get the gist.

This is one of the ways I learned to dance. Mom would hold my left arm with her left arm and use the switch with the other. The first bite of the pine switch encouraged me to run and mom (holding my arm) followed, switch still ablaze.

This created a picture that one might see in a square dance and I swear that one day I thought I heard her say, "Allemande left with the old left hand, back to your partner, right and left grande."

Being the oldest had it's rewards as it was usually a source of parent's pride assuming I had watched my proverbial "P's and Q"s that particular day.

Returning to using trial and error as a parental learning method, in retrospect, I find that being strict was overly used on the oldest, not as enforced on my brother and almost non-existent on my sister.

Overall, my parents did a reasonably good job raising us. They made sure we received an education (both scholarly and socially) and we are in good health. We had fun as a family in spite of the normal ups and downs of the times.

Probably the funniest thoughts that occur to me on an almost daily basis is the knowledge that I am becoming my father. That thought makes me very proud.....

The News As I See It: Obama is now making his case for raising the debt limit. He said raising the debt limit does not increase debt. You know, like raising the speed limit does not increase speed.

O.J. Simpson has  stealing cookies from the prison cafeteria. This time he left a trail of crumbs. Just when you think you know a guy, huh?

A new study says we should change how we feed cows so they don't produce so much of the greenhouse gas methane. I personally recommend eliminating taco night.

Miley Cyrus said she will never twerk again. Miley said there are too many other things she wants to try once and do badly.

In South Carolina, the winner of the latest Powerball lottery has chosen to remain anonymous. However, I'm guessing it's that cashier at Cracker Barrel with the Learjet.

Obama is at the U.N. Everybody's in town. World leaders are coming and going and Obama is briefing all the other leaders on the Kardashian marriages.

A postage stamp costs 46 cents, but they're proposing to raise it to 49 cents. That's only an increase of 3 cents. It doesn't sound like much, but when you multiply it by all the people who send letters, it could bring the post office upwards of $30.

This Date In History: 1540; Pope Paul III approved the charter for the Society of Jesus (Jesuits), founded by St. Ignatius Loyola. 1939; Warsaw, Poland, was surrendered to the Nazis after weeks of resistance. 1959; Typhoon Vera battered the Japanese island of Honshu, killing almost 5,000 people.

1964; The Warren Commission report concluded that there was no conspiracy in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy; Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. 1998; Mark McGwire hit his record-setting 69th and 70th home runs in the last game of the regular season.

Picture Of The Day: The Sullivan clan.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My cat was dreaming last night. Based on the noises and twitches coming from him, I think he was fighting off a Korean Chef. 2) How can I be sure I've succeeded if I can't remember what I was trying to do? 3) A liter of Johnnie Walker Black scotch......when you absolutely, positively need to wake up underneath your neighbor's swing-set. 4) The waiter, I mean barrista said, "It's pronounced poor-shah, not por-shh." I said, "Ok, got it doo-shah." 5) I saw a kid yell at his dad at the shopping mall and say, "No way, you jerk!" I yelled at my dad once when I was 12, then I woke up and I was 13.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Libra - September 27th: Shallow puddles may deceive you today. You may hear good news today from an excitable old lady who may turn out to have had a few drinks too many. Keep your distance, she may be trouble. On the other hand, if it's late and the night has been slow......

Birthdays: One of my favorite sweethearts Linda - Happy Birthday Baby! 19XX, Cosimo de' Medici, merchant prince 1389, Samuel Adams, political leader in the American Revolution, signer of the Declaration of Independence 1722, Alfred Thayer Mahan, naval historian 1840, Thomas Nast, caricaturist 1840, Vincent Youmans, composer 1898, Gwyneth Paltrow, actress 1972.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A phenomena known as "women's intuition" a sixth sense if you will, is no myth. Women seem to know what's going on in their man's lives almost better than they do. Why is this?

In the early 80's, researchers discovered that women have more connections between the brain's two hemispheres than men do. It's these connections that allow them to put together a puzzle from seemingly un-connectable pieces. That, and they go through all your stuff while you're in the shower.

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. The husband explained, "Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship."

He went on to say, "She was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. She communicates well and I act like I'm listening."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: One morning a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and runs into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.

Without batting an eye, the priest says, "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle. Tell me, where is this man?" The altar boy relied, "Flat on his ass, Father, over by the holy water."

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Asking questions during children's sermons is crucial. Asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

After the pastor asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

That's it for today, my little mighty mice. Remember,don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver. I'm off to AREA 51 for happy hour.

Have a fantastic weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !