November 22, 1963

I was 18 years old, content that I had a job (minimum wage $4.25 hr). I was working in shipping at a plastics factory when a PA announcement notified us that the President had been shot in Dallas. The floor was abuzz and about an hour later, the PA system announced that President Kennedy had died. We were sent home (with pay).

I wasn't very educated about politics in those days. I became more interested in my senior year in high school, when Miami teemed with soldiers and equipment in anticipation and preparation for war during the Cuban Missile crisis.

I arrived home and immediately turned to the television for news on the assassination. My only political affiliation at the time was Democratic and that was only because my parents were registered Democrats. I guess it kinda works the same way with religion.

My mind wanders a bit as to the date of the national funeral but I distinctly remember watching it as tears streamed down my cheeks. I can still see the image of the caissons, the riderless horse with the boots backward in the stirrups and little John John saluting his fallen father.

The death of a family member and Princess Diana's death and funeral were very painful, but I can't remember a sadder day in my life than when they buried John F. Kennedy.....

The News As I See It: Freshman Congressman Trey Radel of Florida has been arrested for possession of cocaine in Washington, D.C. He admitted he is an alcoholic and plead guilty to possession of cocaine. The judge sentenced him to four years as mayor of Toronto.

Toronto's city council has voted to drastically reduce Mayor Rob Ford's powers. They say this reduces him to a "mere figurehead" — which still sounds better than "crackhead." To make matters worse for Mayor Ford, his reality show was canceled after one airing. They are calling this guy the most embarrassing Ford since the Pinto.

The ratings for Al Jazeera America has now dipped even lower than Al Gore's Current TV, which it replaced. You know you're boring when Al Gore is considered more entertaining to people than what you have.

Members of the tea party gathered outside the White House to demand Obama's impeachment. Obama said he appreciated their views and he is setting up a new website where they can voice their opinion.

Obama and other Democrats have stopped using the term “Obamacare,” when referring to the new healthcare law. Now they’re calling it "The Affordable Care Act." Americans are saying, "Just let us know when you can call it 'fixed.'"

Happy Birthday to Vice President Joe Biden, who just turned 71 years old. Biden wore a party hat, carried balloons and ate cake for lunch. He was especially happy when they told him it was also his birthday.
 

This Date In History: 1497; Portuguese explorer Vasco de Gama became the first navigator to sail around the Cape of Good Hope in his search for a sea route to India. 1718; Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard the pirate, was killed off the east coast of North America.

1842; Mount St. Helens in Washington state erupted. Ash fallout reached as far as 48 mi away. 1906; "S-O-S" was adopted as a distress signal at the International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin.

1943; President Franklin Roosevelt, British prime minister Winston Churchill, and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in Cairo to discuss measures for defeating Japan.

1963; President John F. Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas. 1990; Margaret Thatcher announced her resignation as prime minister of the United Kingdom.

Picture Of The Day: The most poignant picture of that fateful day literally moved me to tears.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If you look in the mirror and say "pumpkin spice latte" three times, a suburban college girl, majoring in the arts, will appear and tell you everything she loves about the fall. 2) Thanks to a huge spider web I walked into today, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked. 3) (Girlfriend): "I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching porn." (Me): "No, it's just women's tennis." 4) I asked my Ouija board if I was getting laid tonight and the pointer keeps gliding back and forth between the "H" and the "A". It's been over an hour now. 5) (Girlfriend): "Can you fix this? The hole is too big for the thing-a-ma-jig" (Me): "Hey. I know how that feels! Ha ha ha!" ** And then I regained consciousness **.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius -November 22nd : Romance is definitely in the air this month, although you may find it clouded by other emotions or possibly, smells. You will finally understand why birds suddenly appear every time your companion walks near. I'm talking sardines here, people.....!

Birthdays: Richard Neville, nobleman 1428, Robert Cavelier de La Salle, explorer 1643, Abigail Adams, First Lady, writer 1744, Thomas Cook, travel agent 1808, George Eliot, novelist 1819, André Gide, writer 1869, Charles De Gaulle, general and statesman 1890, Hoagland Carmichael, songwriter 1899, Wiley Post aviator 1899, Benjamin Britten, composer 1913, Rodney Dangerfield, comedian 1921, Geraldine Page, actress 1924, Billie Jean King, American Tennis Player 1943, Jamie Lee Curtis, actress 1958, Mark Ruffalo, actor 1967, Boris Becker, tennis player 1967, Scarlett Johansson, actress 1984.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem! Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a leak, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour because my pee barely trickles out."

The 75-year-old said, "Heck, that's nothing. Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a crap, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible."

The 80-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse and at 8:30 I crap like there's no tomorrow."

One of the younger man said, "That's great, then you have no problems." The 80-year-old replied, "Yes, I do! The trouble with me is, I don't wake up till eleven."

Early one morning, an elderly retired gentleman yelled to his wife, "Honey, come see what I created. It's an abstract panorama depicting the five-years of the Obama presidency!"

She yelled back, "Flush the damn toilet and come eat your breakfast."
 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

Her husband replied, "My darling, think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

A farmer goes into town to see a vet to see if how to tell that his pigs are pregnant. The vet says that if they're standing up in the morning they're not pregnant, but if they're rolling in the mud they are.

So the farmer goes home and loads all of his pigs in the back of his pick-up and takes them all out in the woods and does all of them. Then he takes them home and unloads them in their pen. Afterwards he gets tired so goes to bed.

The next morning he gets up and checks on the pigs and they're standing up, so he takes them all out in the woods and does them all twice. Then, he goes home, quickly unloads them in their pen and goes right to bed.

The next morning the farmer is so tired he can't even get out of bed, so he yells to his wife to come into his bedroom. He tells her to look out the window and tell him if the pigs are standing up or rolling in the mud. His wife replies, "Neither, they're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn."

That's it for today, my little Martians. Remember, they say that intelligence is the new cleavage. This may or not be true but I believe that intelligence is only head and shoulders above cleavage. I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !