Sorry, No Cigarettes - How About A Fifth Of Vodka?

CVS has decided to eliminate the sales of cigarettes and other tobacco products effective October 1st, citing that the removal will help them grow the company's business of working with doctors, hospitals and other care providers to improve customers' health.

On the other hand, they will continue to sell unhealthy items such as liquor, beer and wine. They will continue to sell known diet aids and weight loss products which are proven to be unsafe.

When asked if CVS would extend it's ban to other unhealthy products such as candy and potato chips, CVS representatives told reporters that those items, in moderation, do not have the same adverse effects as the use of tobacco.

Hmmm! It seems to me that CVS has decided what we should or should not legally purchase. They have the right to sell what they want. What they need to decide is if they want to be a convenience store with a pharmacy or strictly a drug store, not selling anything else unrelated to health.

The News As I See It: This year was the worst Super Bowl ever. Seattle beat Denver 43 to 8. The Broncos simply couldn’t move the ball and blamed it on a traffic study. The last time I saw a Bronco going that slow, OJ was driving it through Los Angeles. At the game, Governor Chris Christie blocked three lines at the concession stand.

After appearing in a commercial during last night's Super Bowl, people are accusing Bob Dylan of selling out. Today Dylan responded by saying, "Everyone needs to calm down, have a Bud Light and relax at a Sandals Resort."

The Super Bowl was on Fox, so the traditional pre-game sit-down with Obama went to Bill O'Reilly. The interview got off to a rocky start. O'Reilly asked Obama, "Where you were born was football played with your feet?" And it went downhill from there.

People were still partying in Seattle on Sunday night after the game. They were singing, they were laughing, they were hugging complete strangers, dancing in the streets. Basically, the same thing they've done every night in Seattle since they legalized marijuana.

The Democrats are right, there are two Americas. The America that works and the America that doesn’t.....

This Date In History: 1811; After George III was declared insane, the Prince of Wales became Prince Regent of England, and later George IV. 1917; Congress passed the Immigration Act, which restricted Asian immigration, over President Wilson's veto.

1917; Mexico adopted its present constitution. 1937; FDR proposed increasing the number of Supreme Court justices "packing" the court.

1994; Byron De La Beckwith was sentenced to life in prison for the murder of Medgar Evers, 30 years after the crime in Jackson, Mississippi. 1997; Under international pressure, three of Switzerland's biggest banks created a fund worth 100 million Swiss francs for Holocaust victims and their families.

Picture Of The Day: This shot was taken by my friend, Jay Freet, and won Fuji Film's picture of the week.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When dogs suddenly stop licking themselves and stare into the distance, they're thinking, "Shit. Did I leave the iron on?" 2) Okay people, the Super Bowl is over. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians. 3) (North West): "Daddy what were you famous for?" (Kanye): "Rapping, Son." (North West): "Mommy what were you famous for?" .....((awkward silence)). 4) Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight. 5) My sister-in-law is naming her baby Nevaeh because it's Heaven spelled backwards. I said, "Just name her what she's going to end up being.....Tulsa".....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aquarius - February 5th: Subconsciously, you've always felt free to say and do what you want so today's court judgement against you might affect your life in ways you hadn't considered.

Birthdays: Sir Robert Peel, statesman 1788, Dwight L. Moody, evangelist 1837, Belle Starr, outlaw 1848, Adlai Stevenson, American statesman 1900, Norton Simon, food industry executive, art collector 1907, Hank Aaron, baseball player 1934, Jennifer Jason Leigh, actress 1962, Jeremy Sumpter actor 1989.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A mother of five decides to get plastic surgery on her privates so her husband can enjoy the snugness she had in her youth. So, she heads off to the doctor for the procedure.

Once the procedure is done, she wakes up to find three roses on her bed, and asks the nurse who sent them. The nurse says, "The doctor wanted you to know he appreciates the business, so he left you a rose."

The nurse continued, "Then your husband came in with a rose, stating that he can't wait to feel the results of the surgery, so he left a rose, too."

The woman asked, "What about the third rose?" The nurse replied,  "Oh, that's from Ed in the burn unit. He wanted to say thanks for the new ears."

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

Finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "Doctor, I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." The doctor said calmly, "Don't worry. He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Obama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in South Texas, asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, "Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence." Then, Little Todd, with a proud Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said, "Well, dumb ass, stop clapping!”

A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up". Soon a local pulled in, filled his tank and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The southern boy then guessed 8 and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same guy, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the man said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex. Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged.  My wife won twice last week."

That's it for today, my little green apples. Remember, money may not buy you happiness, but poverty can’t buy you shit. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !