Technology Of The '50s

We were lucky to even have a phone and television back in the day, which to some degree, wasn't all that bad. After school, chores and homework, we played in the neighborhood, raced bicycles and played sandlot football and baseball.

There wasn't much afternoon TV programming for children, and even if there were, I would have rather been outside playing with friends. Running and playing games virtually assured few overweight, unhealthy kids.

When we were thirsty, we drank from the hose. If we got hungry, there were many types of fruit trees and bushes to choose from.

Obviously, there was no Internet, cell phones were unimaginable and the only education about the birds and the bees was from what our parents told us, which was heavily censored.

Respect for elders was the norm and, if ignored, a trip to the proverbial woodshed would provide the proper attitude adjustment. "Time Out" was a term used in sports.

Dinner was scheduled at the same hour and the menu was whatever my parents prepared. I hated the starving children of China until I understood what the point was. My hatred of liver and asparagus continues until this day.

Yet, the majority of most kids that I have known weathered the storm and have lived a relatively happy life. I guess that, back in the day, my parents probably thought that things were moving too fast, as well. My assumption is that one day, a child of this day and age will recall his life, "back in the day." And, so it goes.....

Grandfather Sullivan, Dad, cousin Buddy, Brother Kirt and sister Jeanne

The News As I See It: It's been reported in the news that Obama asked HBO for copies of the upcoming season of "Game of Thrones." You know things are bad in this country when even the White House can't afford HBO. Then again, Obama's convinced that he's the King. Maybe he's just shopping.

The World Clown Association has announced that the number of clowns worldwide has dropped dramatically. The drop in clowns is mostly due to one fatal car accident.

Justin Bieber, from now on, wants to be known as Bizzle. In fact, earlier this week, he underwent a three-hour operation to have his little Bieber removed.

Monday was President's Day and an opportunity to remember most of our presidents. It was also a great day to get a terrific deal on mattresses.

This Date In History: 1674; The Netherlands and England signed the Peace of Westminster, by which New Amsterdam passed to the English (and was renamed New York). 1807; Aaron Burr, vice president under Thomas Jefferson, was arrested for treason. He was later acquitted.

1878; Thomas Edison patented the gramophone (phonograph). 1942; President Franklin Roosevelt signed an executive order that resulted in the internment of thousands of Japanese-Americans living on the West Coast.

1945; The U.S. Marines went ashore at Iwo Jima. 1959; Britain, Turkey, and Greece signed the agreement granting Cyprus independence. 1968; The first nationwide broadcast of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood aired on PBS.

1997; Deng Xiaoping, Chinese Communist leader, died. 2008; Fidel Castro resigned as President of Cuba after 49 years in power. Raúl Castro, Fidel's brother, succeeded him as president.

Picture Of The Day: Brother Kirt and I, practicing songs for our band.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes, I don't think this relationship is going to work. 2) Hockey is more tolerable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo. 3) A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is relatively clear. 4) When your landlord asks why you didn’t sign your rent check, just wink and say "writer’s block." 5) My girlfriend just slung off her bra off and threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, today is Wednesday.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Pisces - February 19th: Your lucky goat name for today is: Penelope. Walk without shoes for a day and you will soon understand the nature of the sole.......soul.

Birthdays: My sweet little peanut, Kelly, who I have known since she was a child - Happy Birthday Baby ! 19XX, Nicholas Copernicus, Polish astronomer 1473, David Garrick actor and dramatist 1717, Eddie Arcaro jockey 1916, Carson McCullers novelist 1917, Lee Marvin actor 1924, Smokey Robinson singer 1940, Amy Tan novelist 1952.

Dad, Brother Kirt. his son Jonathon and myself

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the woman "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No, he didn't. He just walked in."

A little boy was confronted by his irate father who asked, "Johnny, did you push the outhouse over the cliff?" Little Johnny replied, "Yes, father, I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse over the cliff."

With that, the seething father took off his belt, put little Johnny over his knee and proceeded to give him a good lashing. Little Johnny cried out, "But father, George Washington did not get a lashing when he told the truth about chopping down the cherry tree."

Johnny's father replied, "George Washington's father was not in the cherry tree!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pals Linda from Washington State and Mike for their contributions to today's stories.

Murray decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him.

After a long period of silence, she finally says, "Honey, I've been thinking. Now that we are married, I think you should quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your golf clubs." Murray gets a horrified look on his face.

His wife says, "Darling, what's wrong?" Murray says, ”For a minute there, you were sounding like my ex-wife.” His wife screams, "Ex-wife! I didn't know you were married before !" Murray replied, "I wasn't."

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a Moped motor bike pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, Sonny?" The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!" 

 The old man says, "That's a lot of money! Why does it cost so much?" The doctor states proudly, "Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!" The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" The doctor answers, "No problem."

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right, but I'll stick with my Moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear what it could be and suddenly, Whoosh! Something whips by him going much faster!

The doctor asks himself, "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 mph.

Whoosh! He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again! Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 250 mph. Not ten seconds later,he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! 

 The Ferrari is flat out and there's nothing he can do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The doctor stops and jumps out and ,unbelievably, the old man is still alive. He runs up to the old man and says, "My Gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man whispers, "Yeah, unhook my suspenders from your side mirror."

That's it for today, my little meadow larks. Remember, the story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is one of the best tales of honesty, integrity and giving a child an ax. I'll be heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !