Shinseki Resigns - Now Prosecute The Book Cookers !

Veterans Affairs Secretary Eric Shinseki resigned today in a personal meeting with Barack Obama. My guess is that he resigned rather than be fired. The retired four-star general resigned shortly after publicly apologizing for deep problems plaguing the agency's health care system.

Shinseki had been facing mounting calls to step down from lawmakers in both parties since a scathing internal report out Wednesday found broad and deep-seated problems in the sprawling health care system, which provides medical care to about 6.5 million veterans annually.

Now that Shinseki is out, let's move on to the number of higher-ups who intentionally cooked the books and left our veterans to die while awaiting medical help.

This problem has gone on for a number of years and several presidents and congresses were well aware of the malfeasance and failed to do anything to correct the problem.

Obama and his administration were repeatedly and specifically warned by the Bush administration that multiple VA medical facilities were "cooking their books" in an effort to cover-up the delay in treatment for our veterans. It's time to take care of the men and women of the armed forces and get rid of the assholes at the top!

Speaking of assholes, White House press secretary and weasel Jay Carney became the news instead of just delivering it today, when Obama unexpectedly interrupted the daily media briefing to announce Carney's resignation after three and a half years as his primary spokesman.

The reasoning for Carney's resignation is not clear at this time but it will mean that there's one less liar and spinner in the White House. More on Monday.

The News As I See It: Obama recently had lunch with Hillary Clinton. Hillary told the president, "After phoning my top advisers, I think I'll run for office." Obama said, "I know. I listened in." A lot of people in Washington were shocked by this Obama-Hillary meeting. I'm not sure about Nancy Pelosi. She looks shocked all the time.

The L.A. Clippers have been sold for $2 billion. Donald Sterling paid only $12 million to buy the Clippers. This deal is very uncomfortable for the former owner because it puts him in the black.

The mayor of New York, Bill de Blasio, has overturned the city's ban on ferrets. I didn't know you could ban ferrets. The mayor says he's trying to bring the hairy little weasels out of the shadows. Looks like Bill's just taking care of his family.

In a new documentary, Robert DeNiro reveals his father was gay. He realized it after he asked his dad what his favorite part of "New York, New York" was. And his dad went "Liza !"

Casinos in Las Vegas are taking bets on when Kim and Kanye will divorce. I think that is outrageous. It's terrible. But if I were betting man, I'd put 20 bucks on "fall sweeps."

Guys from the band "One Direction" were caught on video smoking pot. Sounds like the one direction they're going is straight to Bieber-ville.
 

This Date In History: 1431; Joan of Arc was burned at the stake as a heretic. 1536; King Henry VIII of England married his 3rd wife, Jane Seymour, 11 days after he had his 2nd wife, Anne Boleyn executed. 1911; The first Indianapolis 500 was won by Ray Harroun.

1922; The Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC, was dedicated by Chief Justice William Howard Taft. 1998; An earthquake in Northern Afghanistan (and subsequent aftershocks) killed an estimated 5,000 and injured at least 1,500. A quake on Feb. 4 in the same area had killed about 2,300.

Picture Of The Day: There are few things that are as beautiful as a rainbow.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over. 2) I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house before they're 21.  3) Because of Twitter, people use words like Twitterverse, Tweeple, and Twitcide, which makes me want to twoot myself in the face. 4) A month ago I gave my cell number to a beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". She hasn't called. I think she's homeless. 5) I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee and get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - May 30th: You may think that that hot Egyptian was hitting on you but, it was just to lure you into a pyramid scheme. There's some truth that technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.

Birthdays: Alexander Archipenko, sculptor 1887, Irving G. Thalberg, movie executive 1899, Seton Howard Frederick Lloyd, archaeologist 1902, Mel Blanc, actor 1908, Benny Goodman, musician 1909, Gale Sayers, football player 1943.
 

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An old man shuffled slowly into the "Orange Dipper", an ice cream parlor in Los Angeles and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" The old man replied, "No, hemorrhoids."

Two cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first cowboy says his favorite position is the "rodeo". The other cowboy asks what the position is and how do you do it?

The first cowboy says, "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she’s really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear: 'Your sister likes this position too.' Then try to hang on for 8 seconds."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself. He says, "May I buy you a cocktail?"  Maxine replies, "No, thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."

The man says, "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?" Maxine says, "No, they spread."

An older woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive. The doctor asks, "What about trying Viagra?" Mrs. Murphy says, "Not a chance. He won't even take an aspirin for a headache." The doctor says, "No problem, just drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on."

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. Mrs Murphy says, "Oh it was terrible, doctor. I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible."

The doctor asked, "And that was terrible? Was the sex not good?" Mrs. Murphy said, "Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again."

A man stumbles up to a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Noticing the only other man at the bar, he tells the bartender to buy him a drink. The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" The second man replies, "I'm from Miami but my Dad was born in Alabama."

The first man says, "What a coincidence my Dad's from Alabama too! Let's have another round to Alabama." The second man says, "Good idea!" Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Alabama is your Dad from?" The second man replies, "Tuscaloosa." The first man says, "I can't believe it. My Dad's from Tuscaloosa too! Let's have another drink to Tuscaloosa." The second man says, "For sure!"

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, "What school did you go to?" The second man, "Hialeah High school. I graduated in '64." The first man says, "This is unbelievable! I went to Hialeah High too and graduated in '63!"

About that time, one of the regulars comes in and sits down at the bar. The regular says the bartender, "Hey Tom, what's going on?" The bartender says, "Nothing much, same old thing. Mondays are slow and the Sullivan brothers are drunk again."

That's it for today, my little jitterbugs. Remember, sometimes, when you meet someone for the first time, you just know in your heart that you want to spend the rest of your life avoiding them. I'm heading to AREA 51 for happy hour.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !