The Grand Canyon - A Grandiose Work Of Nature

I love exploring (don't go there) and I've been to various locations, including the Grand Canyon, carved by the Colorado River in the state of Arizona. But there are some parts of the Canyon that I have been unable to go that still beckon me. It is on my Bucket List.

The Canyon is contained within and managed by Grand Canyon National Park, the Hualapai Tribal Nation, the Havasupai Tribe and the Navajo Nation. President Theodore Roosevelt was a major proponent of preservation of the Grand Canyon area and visited it on numerous occasions to hunt and enjoy the scenery.

The Canyon is 277 miles long, up to 18 miles wide and attains a depth of over a mile. Nearly two billion years of Earth's geological history have been exposed as the Colorado River and its tributaries cut their channels through layer after layer of rock while the Colorado Plateau was uplifted.

Recent evidence suggests that the Colorado River established its course through the canyon at least 17 million years ago. Since that time, the Colorado River continued to erode and form the canyon to its present-day configuration.

Havashu Falls

For thousands of years, the area has been continuously inhabited by Native Americans who built settlements within the canyon and its many caves. The Pueblo people considered the Grand Canyon a holy site and made pilgrimages to it.

The first European known to have viewed the Grand Canyon was García López de Cárdenas from Spain, who arrived in 1540.

The News As I See It: Veteran's Day was yesterday, when we honor everyone who served in guarding and protecting America. We honor them with dignity and respect and, of course, mattress sales and tire discounts.

In New York City, you can now walk around smoking weed and all they will do if they see you is write you a ticket. Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game. You've got to be careful smoking weed though, because it causes memory loss. Also, it causes memory loss.

Happy birthday to Leonardo DiCaprio. He turned 40 this week. It's time for a Titanic prostate exam. Demi Moore also celebrated a birthday. Leonardo DiCaprio and Demi Moore are very different, of course. One was in love with Bruce Willis for many years and the other is Demi Moore.

Sesame Street turned 45 years old. If you are not familiar with it, Sesame Street is how we entertained our children before we could just hand them an iPhone.

A Florida man was arrested for wearing an Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good this guy's disguise was, instead of a holdup note, he was reading from a teleprompter.

This Date In History: 1920; Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis was elected the first commissioner of baseball. 1927; Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party and Joseph Stalin became the ruler of the Soviet Union.

1942; The World War II battle of Guadalcanal begins. 1954; Ellis Island stopped serving as the chief immigration station for the United States. Twenty million immigrants went through Ellis Island in its 62 years of operation.

1970; A cyclone and tidal wave hit East Pakistan, killing over 200,000 people. 1981; The space shuttle Columbia was launched for the second time. It was the first time a space vehicle was used more than once.

1990; Akihito becomes emperor of Japan. 1997; Ramzi Yousef, the man behind the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, was convicted in New York.

Picture Of The Day: I love this picture of Horseshoe Bend in the Grand Canyon (Click on all pictures for a more panramic view).

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) They want to allow divorced women to compete in the Miss America pageant. I don't think that's a good idea. Do you really want to hear, "My dreams for the future include world peace and that my ex-husband gets run over by a bus." 2) My life has been a "rags to slightly better rags" story.

3) Mid-life is when you start pondering the "big" questions like...What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? 4) It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. That's why I stay home where it's a man-eat-chocolate world. 5) I almost got arrested at the mall yesterday. The cashier told me "Strip down, facing me." How was I to know she meant my debit card?.....and that's five !

A closer view of Havashu Falls

Today's Horoscope: Scorpio - November 12th: Life can be as romantic as you wish to make it. Like the old saying goes, "A man with three fish has enough in his heart to help him build a picnic table." I have no idea what that means, but it's in the stars.

Putty may be an important object for you today, as will a ball of string and a small ball-peen hammer. Drinking alcohol may help, as well. Try to wear the underwear with the really strong elastic if you go out tonight.

Birthdays: Auguste Rodin, sculptor 1840, Sun Yat-Sen, founder of modern China 1866, Harry Blackmun, Associate Justice 1908, Grace Kelly, actress, Princess of Monaco 1929, Neil Young, singer, songwriter, guitarist 1945, Nadia Comaneci, gymnast 1961, Sammy Sosa, baseball outfielder 1968, Ryan Gosling, actor 1980, Anne Hathaway, actress 1982.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An older couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?" The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He says you were speeding!"

The patrolman says, "May I see your license?" The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave the officer her license.

The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen." The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He said he knows you!"

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar and take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook and an eyepatch. The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

The seaman replied, "Wow, what about your hook"? The pirate said, "While my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant and the punishment for theft in the middle east is the loss of the hand that steals."

The seaman remarked, "Incredible! How did you get the eyepatch?" The pirate said, "A sea gull shit in my eye." The seaman said, "You lost your eye because of sea gull shit?" The pirate replied, "Well, no, it was my first day with the hook."
 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my friend Mike for his contribution to today's stories.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

She asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?" I replied, "No, I don't do drugs, either!'" Then she asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "Not much. My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

She continued, "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, fishing, hiking or bicycling?" I said, "No, I don't."

She asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars or have a lot of sex?" I answered, " No." She looked at me and said, "Then, why do you even care?"

A flat chested young lady went to Doctor Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He told her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your nipples and say, 'Scooby dooby dooby, I want bigger boobies.' " She did this every day faithfully. After several months, it worked! She grew great boobs!

One morning she was running late and in her rush to leave for work, she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up in the middle of the bus and said, "Scooby dooby dooby, I want bigger boobies."

A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Doctor Smith by any chance?" "Why yes, I do. How did you know?" The man stood up and cupped his crotch and said, "Hickory dickory dock....."

That's it for today, my little starlings. Remember, anchovies or jalapenos added to jokes upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions! Happy hour in AREA 51 is tonight's destination.

More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !