The Academy Awards Show Left A Bit To Be Desired

Sunday's Academy Awards, was a lengthy, boring event, with a few exceptions. Lady Gaga was impressive with her rendition of "The Sound Of Music" and even more impressive as she looked surprisingly good, nicely dressed and coiffed instead of looking like a tattooed something the cat dragged in. 

Best Picture went to "Birdman" and Best Director went to Alejandro González Iñárritu. Best actor went to Eddie Redmayne ("The Theory of Everything") while Best Actress went to Julianne Moore ("Still Alice"). Best Supporting Actor went to J.K. Simmons ("Whiplash") and Best supporting Actress went to Patricia Arquette ("Boyhood").

Lady Gaga went all out and looked great

Clint Eastwood's "The Sniper" was overlooked by the Academy voting members in spite of it's success, but voters being mostly from the liberal left, I wasn't very surprised.

Neal Patrick Harris failed to live up to his own hype and went off-script several times suffering from some really bad joke writing. I see a replacement for next year's Awards, but then again. what do I know?

"Best Actor" Eddy Redmayne

Some Oscars viewers and plenty of media types expressed outrage at Joan Rivers' exclusion immediately after Sunday's memorial segment, which featured the names and pictures of more than four dozen industry notables, including Robin Williams, James Garner, Lauren Bacall, Eli Wallach, Mike Nichols and others known for their work off screen. Maybe it's just me, But I can't name one Joan Rivers movie.

While running long, the liberal show types somehow had time to fit in their politics and causes. The overblown production numbers were shoddy at best and, of course, the buzz was all about "Selma" being "snubbed". Guess what folks, the members of the academy are the ones who vote for the nominees and affirmative action is not part of the criteria.

Joey Logano won the Daytona 500 after taking the lead on the 191st lap and holding on through a green-white-checkered finish at Daytona International Speedway on Sunday. The race ended on a caution when a wreck occurred further back behind the leaders.

Kevin Harvick and Dale Earnhardt Jr., Denny Hamlin and Jimmie Johnson rounded out the top five. Hendrick Motorsports stayed in front for the most part, before the 24-year-old Penske driver took the late lead. Pole-sitter Jeff Gordon, racing in his final Daytona 500, led more laps than any other driver but finished 33rd.

The new television agreement with NBC started off on the wrong foot as far as I am concerned with too many commercials, many of which were taken at the wrong time. Between the excessive commercials and the "personalities" of Darrell "Jaws" Waltrip and Kenny (dumb ass) Wallace, it was ofttimes difficult not to mute the sound, pre-race activities notwithstanding.

The News As I See It: The 87th annual Academy Awards was Sunday. It's the time of year when all the biggest movie stars get together and try to piece together what happened after they blacked out at the Golden Globes.

This year’s Oscar nominee gift bags were each worth over $167,000 and include items like free luxury car rentals and a stay at a five-star hotel in Tuscany. As opposed to the Emmys, where they get an AOL CD and two loose Twizzlers.

Wal-Mart announced that it will increase its employees' hourly wages by 40 percent. Workers are pretty excited because they'll finally make enough money to shop at Target.

This Date In History: 1821; John Keats, English Romantic poet, died. 1836; Mexican general Santa Anna began the siege of the Alamo. 1896; The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield.

1898; French novelist Emile Zola was convicted of libel and sentenced to jail for writing his "J'accuse" letter accusing the government of anti-Semitism and wrongly jailing Captain Alfred Dreyfus.

1942; The first Axis shelling of U.S. soil took place near Santa Barbara, California. 1945; U.S. Marines raised the American flag on Iwo Jima. 1997; Scottish scientists announced the successful cloning of a sheep, Dolly.

Picture Of The Day: The United States raised the American flag on the island of Iwo Jima after days of fighting the Japanese. This five-week battle comprised some of the fiercest and bloodiest fighting of the War in the Pacific of World War II. The 36-day assault resulted in more than 26,000 American casualties, including 6,800 dead.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I saw a kid yell at his dad at the shopping mall and say, "No way, you jerk!" I yelled at my dad once when I was 12, then I woke up and I was 13. 2) I used to call my ex-wife "Hun." She thought it was short for "honey." It was short for short for "Attila."  3) Kinky is when you bring a feather to use while having sex. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken. 4) My girlfriend complains about everything I do. It's like she doesn't know there are "Sexy singles in my area" that want to meet with me. 5) The next time someone knocks on your bathroom stall say, "Sorry, I'm with a client." and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Pisces - February 23rd: Shallow puddles may deceive you today. You may hear good news today from an excitable older woman who may turn out to have had a few drinks too many. Keep your distance, she may be trouble. On the other hand, if it's late and the night has been slow......

Birthdays: Samuel Pepys, diarist 1633, George Frideric Handel, German-English Composer 1685,  W. E. B. DuBois, author 1868, Peter Fonda, actor 1939, Viktor Yushchenko politician, president 1954, Crown Prince Naruhito, heir to the Japanese throne 1960, Michael Dell, entrepreneur 1965.

"Best Actress" Oscar went to Julianne Moore

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

Asking questions during children's sermons is crucial. Asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

After the pastor asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

One morning a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches.

An altar boy witnessed the scene and runs into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. Without batting an eye, the priest says, "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle. Tell me, where is this man?"

The altar boy relied, "Flat on his ass, Father, over by the holy water."
 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Two bees met in a field. One said to the other, "How are things going?" The second bee answered, "Really bad. The weather has been cold, wet and damp and there aren't any flowers, so I can't make honey."

The first bee said, "No problem, just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit." The second bee replied, "Thanks for the tip" and flew away.

A few hours later the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?" The second bee said, "Great! It was everything you said it would be. There was plenty of fruit and, huge floral arrangements on every table."

The first bee asked, "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" The second bee answered, "That's my yarmulke. I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her U.S. government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria." The nun said, "I understand completely."

The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs." The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls. I don't want to go to Syria either."

That's it for today, my little tic tacs. Remember, temptation is everywhere, especially if you're willing to look for it.
More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !