Political Correctness - Warning: Some Material May Be Unsuitable For The Hard Of Understanding

Political correctness is fostered by a delusional group and promoted by the mainstream media, who believe that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end.

Politicians, from Obama down to the local politicians in the cities and towns across America, have been reduced to spinning the truth to fit their needs and rarely address any point that doesn't conveniently serve their interests. Most are unqualified to run any successful corporation or business.

Americans are becoming forced to tiptoe around controversial subjects like the recent violence and looting in some cities or attacks by radical Islamic terrorists lest they offend the perpetrators.

In the interim, these same criminals and thugs blatantly cry "Death To America" or "Kill the Police" without fear of repercussion.

Obama and other politicians walk softly around these subjects and Obama's friendship with the race-baiting Al Sharpton only makes him look more incompetent, worsening the black-white racial divide.

While Obama will not call ISIS and others "radical Islamic" terrorists, he's Johnny-on-the-spot  to point out what he considers racial injustice. Worse yet, while his foreign policies fail, he's the first to congratulate a black NFL draftee for coming out of the closet.

Sooner or later, more and more Americans will arm themselves from these criminals and the results won't be pretty. Then again, maybe the government will begin to prosecute the criminals instead of making excuses for them. Time will tell.....

The News As I See It: Barbara Walters admitted to stealing an artifact from the White House. She said, "I was young, and I didn't think President Lincoln would mind."

The U.S. unemployment rate is the lowest it's been in nearly seven years. The job sector that has seen the most growth is in the field of Republican presidential candidates.

A new report reveals that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie spent over $82,000 on food at NFL games. Christie said, "Hey, both of those games went into overtime."

The NFL has suspended Tom Brady for four games over deflate-gate. They're going to punish him by making him stay home in his mansion with his supermodel wife and think about what he did wrong.

Kanye West's ex-girlfriend accused him of using ghost writers to come up with his music. Kim Kardashian defending Kanye by saying, "He doesn't even know any ghosts. And even if he did, how could they pick up the pencil with their ghost hands?"

This Date In History: 1568; Mary Queen of Scots was defeated at the Battle of Langside and immediately fled to North England. 1846; The United States formally declared war on Mexico after several days of fighting.

1938; Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded the New Orleans's jazz classic, "When the Saints Go Marching In", on Decca Records. 1940; Winston Churchill gave his first speech as prime minister: "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat."

1973; Tennis male chauvinist Bobby Riggs defeated Margaret Smith Court, 6-2, 6-1 in front of a world-wide television audience. He would lose to Billie Jean King later that year. 1981; Pope John Paul II was shot and wounded by Mehmet Ali Agca as he drove through a crowd in St. Peter's Square, Rome.

Picture Of The Day: Cell phone history. Add your own caption.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) After having lived in terror all these years, Gloria Estefan's threat finally came true. I turned on my car radio and was brutally attacked by the rhythm. 2) For the past two nights my stomach sounds like cat purring when I lay down. I'm terrified to write to Web MD about this 'cause I'm too old to have kittens.

3) I've learned a lot about women over the years. For example, if you're going to the hospital for a gunshot wound and she asks for tampons, you'd better stop on the way. 4) My auto-correct turned "likeable" into "lickable" and the new intern is confused by her evaluation, but I'll bet she's smiling. 5) When you are dating, farting is not an issue. When you are married, make sure there’s nothing flammable near your wife at all times.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Taurus - May13th: There's a good chance that you may meet a very interesting person this week which may lead to love. For the women, the kind male face you've always admired could pass your way.

For the men, the girl of your dreams may notice you. But beware. The face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to a man with rugged, masculine features. If she is menstruating, however, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple.

Birthdays: Maria Theresa, queen of Bohemia and Hungary 1717, Henry William Stiegel, iron and glass manufacturer 1729, Sir Arthur Sullivan,  composer 1842, Georges Braque, painter 1882,  Joe Louis, American world champion boxer 1914, Harvey Keitel, actor 1939, Stevie Wonder, singer, composer, producer 1950.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first cowboy says his favorite position is the "rodeo". The other cowboy asks what the position is and how do you do it?

The first cowboy says, "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she’s really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position too.' Then try to hang on for 8 seconds."

Three kids were out riding their bikes one afternoon when a fire engine zoomed past with blaring sirens. The three kids noticed a Dalmatian on the front seat of the fire engine. The first boy said, "They use that dog to keep the crowds back."

The second boy said, "No, he’s just for good luck." The third kid knew better. He said, "No, that’s not it. The dog is there to give them directions to the nearest fire hydrant!"
 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Mike for his contribution to today's stories.

An old drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you Sir?"

The drunk mumbles, "Yessh! Ssomebody sstole my car." The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" The drunk replies, "It wasss on the end of thisshh key."

About that time the cop looks down and sees the drunk's manhood hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out, "Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone, too!"

A Greek and a Scotsman were sitting in a Starbucks cafe discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well we Greeks built the Parthenon" and arched his eyebrows. The Scotsman replies, "Well ... it was the Scots that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Scotsman, nodding in agreement says, "Scots were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars."

This went on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!"

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced it to the women!"

I remember once getting on a plane to go skiing at Heaven Valley in Lake Tahoe. I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York and send the other one to Lake Tahoe." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last year!"

That's it for today, my little eaglets. Remember, if you tip the world over on its side, anything and everything that's illegal, loose or useless will land in Washington D.C. or Los Angeles. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

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