The GOP - They Eat Their Own

The GOP has no business dictating who should be the presidential nominee. The current "Stop Trump" movement is a contradiction to what voters have decided thus far. GOP candidates John McCain and Mitt Romney failed miserably in previous elections.

Mitt Romney gave a speech Wednesday attacking front runner Donald Trump and vowing that he should not be the GOP nominee. This is the same Romney that accepted Donald Trump's endorsement in 2012 while on the way to blowing his chances of winning the Presidency. Romney is nothing more than a political whore.

The GOP hierarchy and other interested parties are doing everything possible to defeat Trump. If they pull what I believe they are trying to pull, they are guaranteeing eight more years of Hillary Obama.

In the interim, last night's Republican debate was nothing more than a high school food fight. Rather than address problems and state their positions, the candidates resorted to name calling.

One funny incident was when something white appeared on Ted Cruz' lip then magically disappeared to an unknown destination. My hopes are that the white thing fell to the floor but my devilish side tells me Cruz ate it.

Overall, the whole debate was occasionally funny, but far from being presidential  

I bought a doughnut at Dunkin' Donuts and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you the money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this.

I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, "Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh, wait. It's in my file at home, under 'D'".

The News As I See It: Marco Rubio finally won his first state Tuesday with a victory in the Minnesota primary. It was such a big night, Rubio’s parents let him stay up and watch the returns come in.

Mitt Romney made a televised speech in which he went all in after Donald Trump. He called him a phony and a fraud. He said he's playing the American public for suckers. I haven't seen Mitt this fired up since that time he dripped mayonnaise on a new pair of Chambray Dockers.

Romney also said Trump's promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. Then Trump said, "Or as worthless as a Romney 2012 poster." If Mitt Romney is the big gun the Republicans sent in to stop Trump, they're in a lot of trouble. It's like sending a meter maid in to break up a prison riot.

Google search "How to move to Canada" started trending after Donald Trump's impressive showing on Super Tuesday. As Canadians put it, "Great, now we need to build a wall to keep out the Chicago and Detroit Democrats."

A marijuana activist group is planning a protest at the White House on April 2nd. They’re expected to show up around May 9th.

This Date In History: 1789; The Constitution of the United States went into effect. 1791; Vermont became the 14th state in the United States. 1861; Abraham Lincoln was inaugurated as president.

1917; Jeannette Rankin took her seat as the first woman elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. 1933; Frances Perkins, appointed Secretary of Labor, became first woman to serve in the Cabinet.

1994; Four Muslim fundamentalists were found guilty in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing in New York. 1999; Retired Supreme Court Justice Harry A. Blackmun died in Arlington, Va., at age 90.

Picture Of The Day: I have no idea what that white thing is on Ted Cruz lip, but it disappeared to a destination unknown.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. Then you can say, "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!" 2) My life has been a "rags to slightly better rags" story. 3) Sometimes I wonder what happens to the bass I catch and release. Do they go home and hear Mrs Bass say, "Where were you?" and he says, "I got caught!" Then, she says, "I don't believe you, let me see the inside of your lip."

4) It appears that someone has invited a lot of old people to my high school reunion. 5) A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing an Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good this guy's disguise was, instead of a holdup note, he was reading from a teleprompter.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Pisces - March 4th: If you pick yourself up by your shoe-strings today, you are likely to fall flat on your ass. Test yourself today by walking around semi-nude, but remember that this will affect your chance of romance.

Birthdays: Henry the Navigator, prince 1394, Antonio Vivaldi, composer 1675, Casimir Pulaski, Polish general 1748, Knute Rockne, football coach 1888, Miriam Makeba, singer 1932.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: The middle aged woman was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. He walks in. She says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."

He thinks, "This is my lucky day" and gives it his all on the kitchen table. He says afterwards, "What was that all about?" She says, "The egg timer's broken."

A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff.

As the guy left the elevator the two girls let him go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Oh my God! We need to give him Head and Shoulders." The blonde replies, "That's a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Anchovies or jalapenos added to jokes upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions!

A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred, "I'll die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times?"

Socrates, the great philosopher, came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" Socrates replied, "Wait a moment. Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" The man said, "No, actually I just heard about it."

Socrates said, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?" The man answered, "No, on the contrary....."

Socrates interrupted, "So, you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?" The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued, "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?" The man responded,"Well it....no, not really." "Socrates said, "Well, f what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?" The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that Plato was having an affair with his wife.

That's it for today, my little teacups. Remember, men can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

Follow Jimmy's Journal on Facebook by clicking the "Follow This Blog" button at the top right of the page.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !