Diversification Doesn't Change the Product

Television and it's commercials are driving me crazy. I have become accustomed to the rhetoric of the fake news media, but now I'm seeing a multitude of no-talent shows and commercials that seem to have an agenda with diversification...brainwashing, if you will.

Shows are becoming boring, non-scripted crapola about pawn brokers, deeps sea fishing, dirty jobs and the like. These a merely slot fillers where the networks can pay low salaries and still get in their tainted, left leaning commercials. Fortunately there are still a few good shows that are worth watching.

Commercials are slanted with unreal diversification. Apparently, no commercial can contain one group of people. Watch the commercials and you'll see a hodge podge of ethnicity. I have all kinds of friends, but I have never seen such a ridiculous combination of characters in any public setting. I don't really object to the characters, but I do reject the underlying attempt at brainwashing.

The entire feeble attempt at disguising the underlying attempt to push diversification in commercials reminds me of the Google logo. Both disgust me.

The News As I See It: The makers of Pokemon Go have announced that they will use the app to encourage and reward players for walking around and picking up garbage on Earth Day. While the makers of Tinder have ALWAYS encouraged people to pick up garbage.

Mahatma Gandhi often walked barefoot which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, making him rather frail and with his odd diet he often suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

My girlfriend and I went camping this weekend in her SUV and two raccoons got in the car. Long story short, if you see two coons speeding in a 2011 Jeep Cherokee, email me.

This Date In History: 1830; Joseph Smith and five others organized the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Fayette, New York. 1862; The Battle of Shiloh in the American Civil War began.

1896; First modern Olympic Games opened in Athens, Greece. 1909; Robert Peary and Matthew Henson became the first to reach the North Pole. 1917; U.S. declared war on Germany and entered World War I.

Picture Of The Day: One can dream, can't one?

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I like to make shopping lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list while at the store. It's a fun game. 2) A man started choking in the line at Wendy's today. Luckily the manager jumped into action and opened another register. 3) The waiter, I mean "barrista", said, "It's pronounced poor-shah, not por-shh." I said, "Ok, got it doo-shah." 4) If you play a game with your girlfriend where you pick one person you’d be allowed to sleep with, choose a celebrity and not "Liz from Accounting." 5) I caught a cold and my doctor recommended coffee enemas. I can never go back to Starbucks.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aries - April 6th: Most of your body is going to become an erogenous zone later this week and the slightest, even accidental, touch may cause you to wet yourself. Thank goodness for Depends, huh?

Birthdays: Raphael Santi, major Italian Renaissance painter 1493, James Mill, philosopher, economist and historian 1773, Anthony Fokker, aircraft manufacturer 1890, Andre Previn, conductor, composer and pianist 1929.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Some women were gathered and the subject of the conversation turned to sex and then birth control. The first woman says, "We're Catholic, so we can't use it." The next woman says, "I am too, but we use the rhythm method." The third woman says, "We use the bucket and saucer method."

The other women asked, "What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?" The woman replied, "Well, I'm five foot eleven and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket and when his eyes get big as saucers, I kick the bucket out from under him."

Bambi, a blonde in her third year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her U.S. government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"

Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" Mabel pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."

A young couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet to pee and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going!

She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried desperately to free her.

During the process, they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her naked and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominently visible between her splayed legs.

Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber, despite the embarrassing nature of their problem. When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were walking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife was exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.

Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber, grabbed a stuffed bunny from the bedroom and placed it over his wife's exposed privates. The plumber walked into the bathroom, took a long look and said, "Well I think I can save your wife, Buddy, but the rabbit's a goner."

That's it for today, my little tadpoles. Remember, a word to the wise isn't necessary. It's the stupid ones that need the advice. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More next week.

Stay Tuned !