BP Oil's Gulf Of Mexico Disaster Is Many Times Worse Than The Exxon Valdez Alaskan Oil Spill !

BP Oil is attempting to plug the oil leak in the gulf of Mexico today and, quite frankly, if they fail to do so, the Gulf and the inhabitants who depend on it are going to be in a world of hurt. The nation is fed up with BP Oil and their inability to resolve the problem. Moreover, the nation is fed up with the Obozo Administration's failure to attend to this problem and come to the aid of Gulf residents who are already feeling the effects of this catastrophe.

Obama's failure to take control of the BP catastrophe has all the news media making comments about the government's failure to respond and take charge. James Carville, the famously outspoken Louisiana Democrat who was a chief political aide to Bill and Hillary Clinton, told CNN's Anderson Cooper that the administration's response to the spill has been "lackadaisical" and that Obama was "naive" to trust BP to manage the massive clean-up effort.

On another note, President Obozo reportedly is sending 1,200 National Guard troops the Mexican border to help secure the Southwest Border against Mexican drug cartels. It's funny how he thinks that 1,200 troops will stop the massive drug cartel's vast ways to smuggle drugs, but then again, he also seems to think the Arizona's border policy is funny as well.

On A Sad Note: The legendary television show host Art Linkletter died today in his Bel Air, California home at the age of 97.

The News As I See It: Today is National Tap Dancing Day. It’s the day we honor BP executives trying to explain the Gulf oil disaster. More fallout from the BP oil spill today. It turns out that Spongebob found tar balls in his squarepants.

Mexican President Felipe Calderon lashed out at Arizona over their immigration law. He said that Mexicans should boycott sneaking into this country until that law is repealed.

At the Shanghai World Expo, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton passed out teddy bears to Chinese children. The children politely accepted the bears — even though they made them.

And finally, a new study has found that use of Viagra can double your chances of hearing loss. What?

This Date In History: 1521; Martin Luther's writings were banned by the Edict of Worms. 1868; President Andrew Johnson avoided conviction for impeachment charges of "high crimes and misdemeanors" by one vote. 1940; Allied troops began the massive naval evacuation of troops from Dunkirk, France, during World War II. 1959; Pittsburgh Pirates’ Harvey Haddix pitched 12 perfect innings against the Milwaukee Braves before losing, 1–0, in the 13th.

1977; George Willig, "the human fly," scaled the World Trade Center in New York City by attaching himself to the window washer mechanism and walking straight up until falling into police custody when he reached the top. It took Willig three and a half hours to make the climb, and $1.10 in fines—a penny per floor. 1978; The first legal casino to be operated in the United States outside of Nevada was opened in Atlantic City.

Picture Of The Day: It's been a hectic day so far and my pictures are an eclectic display of how this day's news has affected me. The picture of the day is the giant cactus at the Arizona border. I am in agreement with the Arizona law and the picture depicts my feelings about the matter to a tee! I also discovered a couple of nice photoshop pictures of two women. I liked them quite a bit, so I thought I'd show them to you.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I never knew what happiness was until I got married and then it was too late! 2) You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg. 3) I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. 4) There's too much blood in my alcohol system. 5) Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.....and that's five !

Birthdays: Washington Augustus Roebling, engineer 1837, Isadora Duncan, dancer 1878, Al Jolson, actor, singer 1886, Dorothea Lange, photographer 1895, John Wayne, actor 1907, Miles Davis, musician 1926, Stevie Nicks, singer 1948, Sally K. Ride, American astronaut 1951.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?" Soloman thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno, Abe. But let's make a deal. If I die first, I will come back and tell you, and if you die first, you come back and tell me, if there is baseball in heaven." They shake on it and, sadly, a few months later poor Abe passes on.

One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" The spirit of Abe whispers, "Yes it is." Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?" Abe says, "Well, I got good news and I got bad news." Sol says, "Gimme the good news first." Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pals Garnett and Victor for their contributions to today's stories.

Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the first guy said, "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." The second guy said, "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." The third guy said, "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him, "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?" The fourth guy says, "I just set my alarm for 5:30a.m. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Golf Course or Intercourse?' She said, "Wear your sweater."

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin - in every way." The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, "You're the first! No one has ever touched these." He immediately drops his pants and replies, "Look at this, still in the crate!"

A man and his friend were enjoying deer hunting season in rural Arkansas near a blacktop highway. A huge buck walked by and the hunter carefully drew his bow and took careful aim. Before he could release his arrow, his friend pointed at a funeral procession passing on the road below their stand. The hunter slowly let off the pressure on his bow, took off his hat, bowed his head and closed his eyes in prayer.

His friend was amazed. "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are the kindest man I have ever known." The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

Author's Note: Due to some recurring spam, comments will be published subject to my approval. Please continue to feel free to make any comments and they will be published as soon as I am notified.

That's it for today my little feather dusters. Remember, a politician will stand for what he thinks people will fall for. It's Hump Day and that means a field trip to AREA 51 for Happy Hour. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

The Gulf Of Mexico Is An Environmental Disaster

The BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico may prove to be the worst ecological disaster since the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Prince William Sound, Alaska in 1989. Although the need to explore for more oil is a necessary evil, I have never been in favor of off-shore drilling precisely for catastrophic events like the Exxon Valdez oil spill and the current mess in the Gulf of Mexico.

The ramifications of this disaster will have far reaching effects, not only ecologically, but financially as well. The effect on wildlife is expected to devastating. Besides affecting the people of the gulf coast, whose livelihood is derived from fishing and related businesses, you can be sure that the prices of gasoline and seafood will skyrocket, as well. I wonder if Obozo still wants to allow more off-shore drilling now?

Congratulations to jockey Calvin Borel for his magnificent ride upon Space saver in Saturday's Kentucky Derby. Borel deftly tucked Super Saver along the rail Saturday on a track turned into creamy peanut butter by heavy rain. Borel found only one horse in his way, and once he steered Super Saver around front-running Conveyance, another Run for the Roses was his with a 2 1/2-length over second place Ice Box. Paddy O'Prado finished third.

Borel has now won the Kentucky Derby three times in the last four years. His ride at his home track nearly duplicated the one he turned in last year aboard 50-1 shot Mine That Bird, except he and Super Saver went off at lower odds and were never in last place. Now the duo heads to Baltimore for the Preakness on May 15.

The News As I See It: In 1850, California became a state.The people had no electricity.The state had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. Basically, nothing has changed today except that, back then, the women had real tits and the men didn't hold hands.

The latest poll taken by the office of the Governor of Arizona asked whether people who live in Arizona think illegal immigration is a serious problem. Sixty percent of respondents answered, "Yes, it is a serious problem." Forty percent of respondents answered, "No es una problema serio."

A tragic flood happened this weekend in the personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood began in the bathroom where the books were kept. Both books have been lost. A spokesman said former president Bush was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one.

Our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Arizona. They can also track her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 12 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. I think the solution is to give every illegal alien a cow.

This Date In History: 1937; Margaret Mitchell won the Pulitzer Prize in fiction for Gone With the Wind. 1948; The Shelley v. Kraemer Supreme Court decision stated that it is unconstitutional for a court to enforce a restrictive covenant which prevents people of a certain race from owning or occupying property.

1979; Margaret Thatcher became the first woman elected prime minister of England. 1986; At the age of 54, legendary horse jockey Bill Shoemaker became the oldest person to win the Kentucky Derby, riding Ferdinand to victory. 1999; Kansas and Oklahoma were hit by an outbreak of more than 55 tornadoes, including one measured at F5 on the Fujita scale.

2001; The United States, a member of the UN Human Rights Commission since its inception, lost its seat. It would be restored the following year. 2003; New Hampshire’s symbol, the granite Old Man of the Mountain, collapsed in the state’s Franconia Mountains.

Picture Of The Day: The Kentucky Derby was dampened by incessant rains and storms, but it didn't dampen the spirit of the people who attended. Fortunately, the rain stopped just before the Kentucky Derby and even the sun came out. Today's pictures are from Saturday's Kentucky Derby.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I'm not here right now. I've gone to go look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait. 2) Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. 3) I'm writing a new song and I'm working on the lyrics. Brother Kirt said he'd write the words. 4) If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day weekend. 5) The difference between a lawyer and a duck is that a lawyer can shove his bill up his ass!.....and that's five !

Birthdays: Niccolo Machiavelli, Italian author and statesman, one of the outstanding figures of the Renaissance 1469, Richard D'Oyly Carte, theatrical impresario 1844, Jacob Riis, social reformer 1849, Golda Meir, political leader 1898, Pete Seeger, folksinger and composer 1919, Sugar Ray Robinson, boxing champion 1921.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: An old lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a rod and reel for his birthday. She picked up a really nice looking rod and asked the salesman how much it was. The salesman says, "I am blind but if you give me the rod I can tell how much it is by the weight." The old lady gives him the rod and he says, "That rod is worth $50." She picked up another really nice rod, hands it to the man and he says, "This rod is worth $60." Amazed at the low price, the old lady decided to buy the more expensive rod and reel.

As she was getting the rod and reel rung up, she realized she had to fart really really badly. She decided since the man was blind that it really wouldn't matter if she farted in front of him, so she just let it loose.

All of a sudden the man says, "It all comes up to $70." Confused the old lady says to him, "But you said the rod and reel was only $60." He said, "It is. Its $60 for the rod and reel and $10 for the duck call."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Last week, as President Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says, "Nice pigs, Sir." The President replies, "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Michele and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says, "Excellent trade, sir."

When Dick Cheney and George "Dubya" Bush were having breakfast at the White House, an attractive waitress asked Cheney what he would like. Cheney said, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit." The waitress asked, "What can I get for you, Mr. President?" George "Dubya" looked up from his menu and replied with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about a quickie this morning?" The waitress exclaimed, "Why, Mr. President! How rude! You're starting to act like Mr. Clinton, and you've only been in your second term of office for a year! As the waitress stormed away, Cheney leaned over to Bush and whispered, "George, it's pronounced 'quiche'."

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300 ft. red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Obama strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a 1937 silver Bentley to the edge of London where they boarded an open 17th century coach that was hitched to 6 magnificent white horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their sides and waiving to the thousands lining the streets, all was going well. What a glorious display of pageantry and dignity! Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip one horrific, earth shattering, eye tearing fart and the coach filled with noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident but then President Obama decided that was a ridiculous manner in which to handle this embarrassing situation. He turned to the Queen and explained "Your Majesty, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even the President of the United States can't control." To which the Queen replied "Mr. President, please don't give the matter another thought. You know if you hadn't said something, I would have assumed it was one of the horses!"

That's it for today my little tumble weeds. Remember, interdigitation is defined as the act of holding hands. Personally, I wouldn't take a chance on asking a woman if she wanted to interdigitate unless I was sure she was unarmed, educated and half in the bag. No use taking chances. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !