Happy Independence Day !

During the American Revolution, the legal separation of the Thirteen Colonies from Great Britain occurred on July 2, 1776, when the Second Continental Congress voted to approve a resolution of independence that had been proposed in June by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia declaring the United States independent from Great Britain.

After voting for independence, Congress turned its attention to the Declaration of Independence, a statement explaining this decision, which had been prepared by a Committee of Five, with Thomas Jefferson as its principal author. Congress debated and revised the wording of the Declaration, finally approving it on July 4.

A day earlier, John Adams had written to his wife Abigail, "The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival."

Adams continued, "It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."

Adams's prediction was off by two days. From the outset, Americans celebrated independence on July 4, the date shown on the much-publicized Declaration of Independence, rather than on July 2, the date the resolution of independence was approved in a closed session of Congress.

The News As I See It: A Rasmussen poll recently reported that 41% of Americans were unaware that the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare.....and people wonder how Obama got elected. Maybe the nightly news should be combined with programs like "Jersey Shore" or "American Idol" so that the sheep become aware of their surroundings, if only by osmosis.

A man is filing a lawsuit against Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, claiming they have ties to al-Qaida. When al-Qaida heard this, they said, "Please do not lump us in with those assholes."

A United Airlines passenger has filed a complaint after a maintenance man dropped superglue on her head on a flight to Houston. I don’t know what’s scarier — that a passenger got superglue on her head or that United fixes their airplanes with superglue.

This Date In History: 1776; The U.S. declared independence from Great Britain. 1826; Former presidents John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died. 1831; Former president James Monroe died. 1845; Henry David Thoreau moved into his shack on Walden Pond.

1862; Lewis Carroll first told the story of Alice's Adventures Underground to the Liddell sisters. 1884; The Statue of Liberty was presented to the United States in Paris. 1895; Katharine Lee Bates published America the Beautiful.

1939; Lou Gehrig, stricken with ALS, made his farewell at Yankee Stadium. 1976; The United States celebrated its bicentennial. 1997; The U.S. Pathfinder probe landed on Mars.

Picture Of The Day: God Bless America !

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I met her in a revolving door and I've been going around with her ever since. 2) We had a great neighborhood watch going when I was a kid until she closed her curtains. 3) My buddy and I were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage and values. My buddy said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" I said, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?" 4) The people with the ugliest feet are inevitably the ones who wear flip-flops. 5) My grandfather was hard of hearing. He needed to read lips. I didn’t mind him reading lips, but he used one of those yellow highlighters......and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Cancer - July 4th: Chances are that your day will end with bang, hopefully with all of your digits intact. I wouldn't have too many drinks at the holiday barbecue if you are going to be involved with the fireworks display. Chance of romance is 91.34 percent if you don't mind a sweaty partner.

Birthdays: My pal Teresa - Happy Birthday Beetle Baby 19XX, Nathaniel Hawthorne, author 1804, Giuseppe Garibaldi, Italian patriot 1807, Stephen Foster, composer 1826, Calvin Cooledge, 30th president of the United States 1872, Rube Goldberg, cartoonist and sculptor 1883.

Louis B. Mayer, movie executive 1885, Meyer Lansky, mobster 1902, Ann Landers, advice columnist 1918, Abigail Van Buren, advice columnist 1918, Eva Marie Saint, actress 1924, Neil Simon, playwright, producer 1927, Gina Lollobrigida, model, actress 1927, George Steinbrenner, owner of NY Yankees 1930.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An old guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a freakin' checking account." To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" The old guy repeats, "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a freakin' checking account right now." The teller replied, "Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!"

The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?" The old guy says, "There's no damn problem. I just won $50 million in the lottery and I want to open a freakin' checking account in this damn bank!" The manager replied, "I see, sir, and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

A man bought a new Ford F 250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck Go which runs on either hydrogen, gasoline or ethanol. A week later, he returned it to the dealer because he couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated.

The technician said to the radio, "Nelson!" The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" The tech said, "Willie!" He continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers. Then he said, "Ray Charles!" and in an instant, "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

The man drove away happy and for the next few days, every time he'd say, "Hank Williams Jr"  he'd get beautiful country music, and if he said, "Beatles", he'd get one of their awesome songs.

The next day, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed his new truck. Luckily, he swerved in time to avoid him. He rolled down his window and yelled, "Asshole!" Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and gentlemen, The President of The United States."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to a group of Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting or trapping the predators, these two groups were offering a "more humane" solution.

What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males would then be castrated and turned loose again. Thus the population would be controlled. No kidding, this was actually proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep Grower's Association by the Sierra Club and the U.S.F.S.

The ranchers listened to the presentation and then sat there in a sort of dumb-found silence, trying to make sense of the amazing proposal they had just heard. Finally, an old boy in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand our problem. Those coyotes ain't screwin' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em!"

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room, the first surgeries of the day. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm afraid."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "Circumcision." The second kid replies, "Whoa! Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

That's it for today, my little sparklers. Remember, the reason scuba divers always fall off their boats backwards is that if they fell forward, they'd still be in the friggin’ boat. AREA 51 festivities will be held at my place today. Stop by and I'll make you a drink. Have a great Fourth of July and more on Friday.

Stay Tuned !