Today's Films - From Theater To Cable Within A Week

I don't go to movies, mainly because of the constantly poor selection of films, idiots who talk to the screen and the never ending ringing of cell phones. Truth be told, I haven't enjoyed theaters since I was a kid.

Few movies today are quality films and with the advent of new technologies, all movie makers do is throw in nudity, a few car chases and crashes, explosions and a zombie or two, and voila, there's your film. Add to the mix the overpriced garbage food, long lines and poorly lit parking areas and you have complete insanity.

Back in the day, many films were good mainly because of good scripts and actors. Any added special effects were of such poor quality that they actually detracted from the story line. The Japanese Godzilla movies, which were so poorly dubbed in English that they were comedic, are a prime example.

 

Although prices were always high for theater food, the movie going experience was pleasant. As kids, we could ride our bikes to the theater, leave them unlocked and return to find them still where we left them. The theaters were clean and the ushers were stern about talking and noise.

We could literally spend an entire Saturday at the theaters, complete with cartoons, Movie-Tone News, the weekly serial and the featured film. With only one theater within biking distance, we rarely looked in the newspaper to see what was playing. Much to my chagrin, that's how I saw the musicals "Carousel" and "Oklahoma".

With the advent of HBO and other cable programs, most movies are available within a year and for those in a hurry, pay-per-view or Netflix show most films within a month. Moreover, the comfort of one's own home, a recliner and reasonably priced food make the movie experience quite relaxing. For my money and patience, that's the only way to fly.....

The News As I See It: JetBlue is reducing leg room by 1.5 inches. Know why? Because so many passengers on JetBlue look around and say, it's so roomy in here! I feel so uncomfortable with all this space!

There will be no Kardashian family Christmas card this year because they couldn't decide on an appropriate photo. Uh, when did the word "appropriate" ever have anything to do with the Kardashians?

Vice President Joe Biden had a birthday last week. Biden started the day with a dance party and a big piece of cake and then he remembered it was his birthday.

Watching "Our Gang" (or the "Little Rascals") was one of my favorite film shorts.

This Date In History: 1642; Abel Tasman discovered Van Diemen's land, later renamed Tasmania. 1859 Darwin's Origin of Species was published. 1871; The National Rifle Association was incorporated.

1963; Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald, JFK's accused assassin, in the garage of Dallas police headquarters. 1971; D. B. Cooper parachuted from a Northwest Airlines flight with $200,000.

Picture Of The Day: The first three dimension film I saw was "The Creature From The Black Lagoon."

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When God closes a door, He usually makes sure my fingers are in it. 2) Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? 3) If you're planning to teach your children the value of a dollar, you better hurry up. 4) I've never been skydiving, but once I zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast. 5) I sure will be happy when scientists discover a cure for Natural Causes..... and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - November 24th: Love is a wonderful thing that can truly change your life for the better. The chances of this happening to you anytime before lunch are so remote so you might as well go home and eat ice cream until you get brain freeze. Remember, you can't become a pilot without a good altitude.

Birthdays: Baruch Spinoza, philosopher 1632, Junípero Serra, missionary 1713, Aleksandr Suvorov, field marshal 1729, Zachary Taylor, 12th President of the United States 1784, Frances Hodgson Burnett, author 1849, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, painter and lithographer 1864, Scott Joplin, American ragtime pianist and composer 1868, Simon van der Meer, physical engineer 1925, William F. Buckley Jr., journalist and writer 1925.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years and then dies.

Once again, a ceremony is held and, at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, her husband cries out, "Watch out for that damned wall!"

 After setting out an elaborate dinner for two, the bellboy asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?" The man replied, "No, thank you. That will be all."

As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. The bellboy asked. "Would you like anything for your wife?" The man replied, "Yeah, that's a good idea. Bring me up a postcard."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.

The other three gathered around him and asked, "What's wrong?" Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. Bob said, "I'm sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me."

One of his buddies asked, "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?" Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole."

One of the other golfers said, "Oh my God, that must have been horrible!" Bob continued still very distressed. "It was worse than that! Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice..."

An old man was asked by his wife to buy organic vegetables from the market. He went to the farmer's market and looked around but couldn't find any.

He grabbed an old employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The produce guy looked at him and said, "No, you'll have to do that yourself."

That's it for today, my little chicklets. Remember, when things are looking down, sit yourself down on the nearest swivelling chair and spin. If that doesn't raise a smile, then I'm all out of ideas.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !