Hialeah Speedway Reunion - Miami Springs River Festival

Sunday, I went with my friends Skip and Diane Gibson to the Hialeah Speedway mini-reunion at the Miami Springs River Cities Festival. I saw my old friend Bobby Brack and his wife, Patricia, Teddy Barnwell and Carol, and the legendary "Racer Red", and many others.

I've watched my friend Bobby Brack race stock cars since the fifties beginning in the Sportsman Division and later moving up to Modified Division. Bobby was always a really good driver, winning many races and championships

Although the early morning skies brought threatening weather and rain, everything cleared up and the afternoon stayed sunny.

Skip and Diane Gibson

My friend Skip and I go back more than fifty years, beginning with bicycle racing at the neighborhood track we built. A lot of the guys went on to race at Hialeah and Palmetto Speedways other area tracks.

Hialeah Speedway and it's sister track, Palmetto Speedway (formerly Medley Speedway), came into being after Opa-Locka Speedway closed and left the racing community without a venue. The South Florida area has produced some of the greatest drivers in the nation, all stemming from Opa-Locka, then Medley and Hialeah Speedways.

Sunday, I spent hours reminiscing with Skip, Bobby Brack, Racer Red and Teddy Barnwell as we all put away our fair share of beer. A fascinating experience indeed with a group of old friends. The redeeming factor about all the beer cans on the tables was that Teddy Barnwell scooped about 90 percent of them and put them in the garbage before the cameras began to come out.

Gloria, "Racer Red", Jerry Clayton (standing) Patricia Brack, Bobby Brack and yours truly

On A Side Note: One of the drawbacks of consuming beer at an outdoor venue is the eventual need to visit the dreaded port-a-potty. These facilities are so vile that most of us try to "hold it" as long as possible. But beer doing what beer does second best, one has to go sooner or later.

I mentally prepared my self to head to the same facilities as the previous year when my friend Skip pointed to a white trailer and suggested, "Why don't you go there?  It's closer."

So, I went because it was closer. When I entered, I was surprised to find an immaculate air-conditioned room, complete with urinal and toilet. It even had a mirror and a sink. I have never been so surprised and (you'll excuse the expression) "relieved" in my life.
  

The News As I See It: Obama discussed the upcoming election. He said that Hillary Clinton will do great as a presidential candidate. When asked how Biden would do, Obama said, "Hillary's going to do great."

When asked to expound on Hillary's candidacy Obama said, "If she's her wonderful self, I'm sure she'll do great." He added, "If she's her other self, watch out."

This Date In History: 1598; The Edict of Nantes gave religious tolerance to the Huguenots in France. 1742; Handel’s Messiah was first publicly performed in Dublin, Ireland. 1964; Sidney Poitier became the first African American to win the Academy Award for best actor.

1970; Apollo 13 announced "Houston, we've got a problem," when an oxygen tank burst on the way to the Moon. 1975; Civil War began in Lebanon when gunmen killed 4 Christian Phalangists who retaliated by killing 27 Palestinians.

1997; Tiger Woods became the youngest person to win the Masters Tournament and the first of African descent to win a major golf title. 2004; Barry Bonds hit his 661st homer, passing Willie Mays to take third place on the lifetime list.

Picture Of The Day: I would be remiss not to include a picture of one of Skip's many wins back in the early days.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall, you might be dating my ex-wife 2) The "eye roll" was created by Eve in the Garden of Eden within 15 min of her first conversation with Adam. 3) Jesus said to Peter, "Come forth and I will give you eternal glory." Peter came fifth and won a toaster. 4) (Girlfriend): "You're cute when you're drunk" (Me): "You're cute when I'm drunk too."  5) You're suppose to wear clean underwear in case you're ever in an accident. My ex-mother-in-law wears a new pair of shoes every day in case a house lands on her.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aries - April 13th: Your task today is to keep these words in mind: Give a liberal a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a liberal to fish, he'll add to the global over-depletion of the oceans, then complain about global warming while he cashes his government check at the liquor store, so just give him the damned fish.

Birthdays: Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States 1743, Butch Cassidy, outlaw 1866, Samuel Beckett, playwright 1906, Eudora Welty, novelist 1909, Ben Nighthorse Campbell, U.S. senator 1933, Seamus Heaney, poet 1939.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. The personnel director says, "You’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute." 

Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute. The director says, "You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course.” This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.

The director continues, "There’s one last requirement. You must be bilingual.” With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow.....!"

A woman went to the doctor's office, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The doctor then marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt for his contribution to today's stories.

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.

He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says, "Grandpa, you're drunk! Go home!

A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne. The woman said, "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne."

The farmer said, "What a coincidence, it is a special day for me. I'm celebrating." The woman said, "It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!"

While they toasted, the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?" The woman replied, "My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that I was pregnant."

The farmer said, "What a coincidence. I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs."

The woman said, "This is awesome! What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?" The farmer said, "I used a different rooster." The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."

That's it for today, my little chicklets. Remember, sometimes auto-correct can be your worst enema.

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More on Wednesday.

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