November - Ready Or Not, Here We Come

The Republicans blew the 2012 elections. Donald Trump is the Republican 2016 choice. Meanwhile, Romney runs anti-Trump ads and Ryan says he's not ready to back Trump. Stupid Republicans wonder why they can't win the White House.

Obama won in 2008 and 2012 because of a blind following of 97 percent Black vote, the Latin vote, easy competition and an America electorate who voted with an "American Idol" mentality. To go into the number of ways Obama has failed America requires more space than it's worth.

If things continue as it stands, Hillary will be elected to an Obama based third term. With more than 50 percent of a voting population who are economically and politically ignorant, it will be a cakewalk.

I have no faith in, not do I trust, politicians. A biased American media hails Obama as the first African American president. Truth be told, Obama is is what is commonly referred to as mulatto, id est, a person born of parents of two different races.....bi-racial, if you will.

So Obama is, in fact, the first bi-racial president. That too, can be contested, as no one has ever questioned bloodlines of previous presidents. The media tells the people what they wish and it is generally accepted as truth.

Even the "great" Franklin D. Roosevelt pulled somewhat of a ruse on the American as he was crippled by polio as a young man and could not stand without locked braces on his legs to hold him up. He could not stand on his own. The media, too its credit, did not reveal this secret to the public.

In the interim, if Republicans can't get their act together, they will surely lose. It's bad enough they start at a disadvantage because of Black, Latin and the other freebie minded voters, but disorganization will complete their downfall.

The News As I See It: Saturday is Naked Gardening Day. I plan on participating. Now, all I have to do is find a garden. I've tried to reserve a table at the Olive Garden, but they weren't too keen on the holiday.

Entrepreneurs in Brazil are building a new theme park called "ErotikaLand". They went with the name after realizing Busch Gardens was taken. It will feature rides and attractions based around sexuality. In fact, Brazilian workers are already busy waxing the rainforest. Just a word of warning: Steer clear of Splash Mountain.

Researchers are claiming that humans can only maintain close relationships with five people. This should make for an interesting Mother’s Day for my friend's mom and her six children.

This Date In History: 1882; Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act over President Chester A. Arthur's veto. 1889; The Universal Exposition opened in Paris, marking the completion and dedication of the Eiffel Tower.

1937; The German airship Hindenburg blew up and burst into flames at Lakehurst, N.J. 1941; Dictator Joseph Stalin became the premier of Russia. 1954; British athlete Roger Bannister became the first person to run a mile in under four minutes.

1994; The Chunnel between England and France officially opened. 1999; Scotland elected its first separate parliament in three centuries.

Picture Of The Day: Beep! Beep!

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex. 2) I woke up last Sunday with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbor's lawn mower. I told him he'd  just have to mow around me cause I wasn't moving. 3) Somebody in my gang is an undercover police horse. I've narrowed it down to Dave, Kyle and Buttermilk.

4) When dogs suddenly stop licking themselves and stare into the distance, they're thinking, "Shit, did I leave the iron on?" 5) Ladies, if he leaves the stickers on his dorky flat brimmed baseball hat that he's wearing backwards and his arms are marked with what appears to be graffiti, that's his way of telling you he won't pay child support.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Taurus - May 6th: Keep an open mind because you may be getting a compliment from a member of the opposite sex that you may not understand. As long as it does not involve a whip, handcuffs and a gerbil, go with it. It'll probably be fun.

Birthdays: Sigmund Freud, psychoanalyst 1856, Robert Peary, American arctic explorer 1856, Rudolph Valentino, actor 1895, Orson Welles, actor, director, producer 1915, Willie Mays, baseball player 1931, Tony Blair, British political leader 1953.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." The second kid replies, "Whoa! Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

She's single. She lives right across the street. I can see her place from my kitchen window. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street,up my driveway and knocked on the door.

I opened the door, she looks at me and said, "I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and get laid tonight! Are you doing anything?"

I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free!" She said, "Great! Could you watch my dog??

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A woman went to the doctor's office, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

Barack and Michelle are at the Yankee's World Series Game 6, sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them.

One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to Barack.First, Obama stares at the guy, looks at Michelle, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head violently.

The agent said, "Sir, it was a request from the home team, everybody from the owner down to the bat boy." Obama really gets going when the agent tells him the fans would love it! So Obama just shrugs his shoulders and says, "If that's what the people want."

Then Obama gets up, grabs Michelle by her collar and the seat of her pants, hoists her over the wall and drops her onto the playing field. She scrambles up kicking, swearing, screaming and the crowd goes wild. They're cheering, applauding and high-fiving.

Obama, bowing and smiling, leans over to the agent and says, "Hey, you were right, I would have never believed that!" Then noticing the agent had gone totally ashen, Obama asked the agent, "What's wrong?"

As soon as he could speak, the stricken agent stammered, "Sir, I said, 'They wanted you to throw out the first pitch'."

That's it for today, my little sweet potatoes. Remember, few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while there are people still inside. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Happy Mother's Day to all the moms! Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !