Hurricane Mathew To Return?

Miami escaped the wrath of Mathew, thankfully, but according to the National Hurricane Center, he may be returning. Nooo ! - Let's get back to the regularly scheduled local car crashes, robberies and murders. I'm tired of watching field reporters inventing scenes.

Hurricane Mathew continues to ravage the South Atlantic coastline and, hopefully, everyone will be as safe as possible. I shudder to imagine if the line of the hurricane had drifted a bit west, in which case, the consequences would have been much more severe.

Moreover, reports show that Mathew will be hooking back after it's rampage, possibly giving it a chance to do an encore.
Conditions may be just right in the ocean and atmosphere at that time to curve Matthew back around toward the southwest and return to Florida for Round Two.

As of midday Thursday, the hurricane was forecast by the U.S. National Hurricane Center to drop to tropical storm status (sustained winds of between 39 and 74 mph) by Monday morning. By Tuesday morning, the NHC places what would be Tropical Storm Matthew just to the northeast of Grand Bahama, not too far from where it was late on Thursday.

The last thing Florida needs as it picks up from Round One is another tropical storm, regardless of how weak the second pass is. While the potential Round Two is forecast to be much less severe, it would hamper recovery efforts.

The News As I See It: Joe Biden, in an interview, described his relationship with Obama as an older brother-younger brother dynamic. The only down side is when he forgets to pick up Obama from soccer practice.

We're just weeks away from Halloween. Yep, it's people pretending to be somebody else, going door-to-door for handouts, or as I call it, running for president.

Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a pair of socks meant to be worn with sandals from 2,000 years ago. Scholars say it’s evidence of the first German tourist.

This Date In History: 1869; The 14th president of the United States, Franklin Pierce, died in Concord, N.H. 1871 The Great Fire of Chicago started. That same day in Peshtigo, Wis., the worst forest fire in U.S. history also began.

1934; Bruno Hauptmannn was indicted for the murder of Charles Lindbergh's baby. 1945; President Harry Truman announced the U.S. would share the secret of the atomic bomb only with Great Britain and Canada.

1956; Don Larsen of the New York Yankees pitched the first and only perfect game in a World Series. 2004; Martha Stewart began her prison sentence at Alderson Federal Prison Camp. 2005; A 7.6 magnitude earthquake centered in the Pakistani-controlled part of the Kashmir region killed more than 80,000 and injured 65,000.

Picture Of The Day: For those of you who have never seen the eye of a hurricane.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Tequila will never be my downfall as the worm does not justify the hangover. 2) You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. 3) It takes 10 Americans to screw in a light bulb. 1 to do it and 9 to debate if it was politically correct. 4) Rapture is what you get when you lift something that is too heavy.  5) I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses.....especially if they're empty.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Libra - October 5th: Remember to chew before you swallow, you know how excited you get sometimes. You may hear good news today from an older person who may or may not be intoxicated. Thinking and doing are two separate things. However, thinking about what you're doing is always a good idea. Try to remember this today when you're trying to tie your shoelaces while staring at the woman across the bar from you.

Birthdays: Emily Blackwell, physician 1826, Edward Rickenbacker, war hero and airline executive 1890, Juan Perón, president of Argentina 1895, Frank Herbert, writer 1920, Chevy Chase comedian 1943, R.L. Stine, writer 1943, Dennis Kucinich, political figure 1946, Sigourney Weaver, actress 1949, Matt Damon, actor 1970.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer's house) and would always leave with a stringer full of fish. The fellow had a boat but a fishing pole was not to be seen.

The farmer mentioned the situation to the game warden. The warden then started watching this man and all that the farmer said was true! The man would arrive at the lake in the morning and by early afternoon, he had a stringer full of fish.

The warden dressed like a fisherman one day and approached the man. They exchanged pleasantries and the stranger asked the warden in disguise to come fish with him. They boated for 45 minutes and arrived at a secluded spot.

The stranger then pulled out a stick of dynamite. The warden said, "I'm going to have to place you under arrest. I am a game warden and you are fishing illegally!"

The stranger calmly lit the stick of dynamite and handed it to the warden. The stranger then said, "Are you gonna talk or fish?"

I met a girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we lay making love, I thought "These Taser guns are well worth the money."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my long time friend, Mike, for his contribution to today's stories.

During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day this way:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!" The man replied, "No, I'm just a crappy golfer."

A rancher needed a bull to service his cows but needed to borrow the money from the bank. The banker who lent the money came by a week later to see how his investment is doing.

The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased and says, "The bull has serviced all my cows, broke through the fence and has serviced all of my neighbor's cows."

The banker says, "Wow! What did the vet do to that bull?" The farmer said, "I don't really know. He just gave him some pills." The banker asked, "What kind of pills?" The farmer said, "I don't know, but they sort of tasted like peppermint."

That's it for today, my little persimmons. Remember, all those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just life's way of preparing you for your driver's license photo. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Have a safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !