Family Tree DNA Tests As Christmas Gifts?

The usual garbage is being hyped as Christmas gift ideas. You know, pajamagrams and the like. But, I'm fascinated by the company who is selling family tree DNA tests for Christmas gifts. Yeah, I'd love to see the look of your darling when they open that gift.

Here's a hint or two for your ancestral consideration: Don't pay anyone for searches. Family search (familysearch.org) is free, run by the Morman church and trustworthy. That notwithstanding, most family trees can be traced via the United states Census which began in 1790. Pursuing any information in years prior to the first census becomes more difficult.

Family trees and one's roots can be fascinating to explore but keep one thought in the back of your mind. Remember, you can't pick your relatives and there's always that possibility of what you might find in the proverbial woodpile..... 

The News As I See It: An Italian winery is releasing five limited-edition bottles of Hello Kitty-themed wine for the holiday season. It’s the perfect gift for your alcoholic niece.

Ireland will be collecting $15 billion from Apple in a settlement over back taxes. Ireland will receive the money on Friday and Guinness will have it all by Monday.

This Date In History: 1854; Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate Conception. 1886; The American Federation of Labor was founded at a convention of union leaders in Columbus, Ohio. 1941; Congress declared war on Japan and the U.S. entered World War II.

1949; Communist attacks forced the Chinese Nationalist government to flee to the island of Formosa (Taiwan). 1978; Former Israeli prime minister Golda Meir died. 1980; John Lennon, former member of the Beatles, was shot and killed in New York City by a deranged fan.

1987; President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev signed the first treaty to reduce the nuclear arsenals of the two superpowers.  1993; President Bill Clinton signed The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) into law.

Picture Of The Day: Then again, I'd like to try the test on some people I know..... 

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My Shetland pony was all black and we called him Midnight. His sister was not quite as dark so we named her Eleven Thirty. 2) I wonder how people that drink Starbucks every morning decide which kid isn’t going to college? 3) Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. 4) Condoms cannot guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.  5) My girlfriend gave me her Christmas list. I said, "Isn't my undying love and affection enough?" We laughed and laughed. Now I'm at the purse store trying to locate a French guy named Louis Vuitton.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - December 8th: Dogs can be a man's best friend or a woman's best friend. They could also be a child's best friend or a cat's best friend. Actually, dogs are totally flexible.

The post office is going to be lucky for you today as a mystery package arrives for you that, for once, is neither ticking nor covered in mysterious powder.

Love will no longer be just another four-letter-word to you today as you will start to understand why birds suddenly appear every time someone nears.

Birthdays: Mary, Queen of Scots, queen 1542, Christina, queen of Sweden 1626, Eli Whitney, American inventor 1765, Diego Rivera, painter 1886, James Thurber, humorist 1894, Lee J. Cobb, actor  1911, Sammy Davis, Jr., singer, actor 1925, David Carradine, actor 1836, Jim Morrison, rock musician 1943, Kim Basinger, actress  1953, Teri Hatcher, actress 1964.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: There's a new study about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are very interesting. Thirty percent of the women feel that their ass is too fat. Ten percent of the women feel that their ass is too skinny.

The remaining sixty percent say they don't care. They love him, he is a good man and they wouldn't trade him for the world.

An Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face and asks, "Mother, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"? His mother replied, "Because he was conceived during a storm."

Then the boy asked "Why is my sister named Cornflower?" His mother answered, "Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."

He then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"? His mother said, "We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived."

The mother paused and said to her son, "Tell me, Two Dogs Humping, why do you ask?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole.

He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb"

The finals of the National Youth Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a student going to one of the finest private schools in the nation. From an upper-crust family, he was well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a Detroit boy who was going into the 7th grade for the 3rd time.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."

The private school student went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem: "Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination -- Timbuktu." The audience went wild! They wondered how the Detroit boy could top that?!

The clock started again and the Detroit boy sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited: "Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three girls in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu"

That's it for today, my little Missile Toes. Remember, 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More next week.

Stay Tuned !