Listen.....Do You Want To Know A Secret ?

Edward Snowden is the person who recently leaked the fact that NSA has tapped phones and the Internet illegally. Didn't America already believe that anyway? Talk about leaks, the Obama Administration helped and gave classified information to the producers of the film "Killing Bin Laden", about how Navy Seal Team killed Usama bin Laden.

So what on earth was the White House thinking when it invited people in the entertainment industry, whose job it is to publicize information, to not only get leaks, but entire treasure troves of classified information, directly from sources so secret their names are still redacted in documents released to the public?

Leaking classified information probably happens more frequently in Washington than it has any right to. The capital is filled with lobbyists, defense contractors and legislative aides, all of whom probably know more information about America’s defense or intelligence infrastructure than is, strictly speaking, secure.

Nevertheless, these leaks tend to be kept under the radar, and happen in places far away from the halls of power in order to minimize institutional culpability.

When leaked information goes public, when journalist Robert Novak outed CIA agent Valerie Plame and when Eric Holder said he knew nothing (although he signed off and approved same) of the IRS illegally tapping the phone of Fox News reporter James Rosen, scandals will follow in the wake.

I don't think that Snowden should be allowed to get away with leaking information. I do believe he should receive the same punishment as Obama, his asshole lap dog Eric Holder and all the other government lackeys from top to bottom who willingly leak information and cause scandals when it's politically convenient.

The News As I See It: The White House closed the gift shop and opened a Verizon store after it was revealed that the National Security Agency seized millions of Verizon phone records. How ironic is that? We wanted a president who listens to all Americans. Now we have one.

The Obama White House is looking through our phone records, checking our computers, monitoring our emails. When did the government suddenly become our psycho ex-girlfriend? When did that happen?

The IRS has taken some heat for reportedly spending $4 million on a conference in Anaheim last year, where employees took dancing lessons. One of the dances they learned? Tap dancing around the issues. If Obama wants to put this snooping thing to good use, how about spying on the IRS the next time they throw a $4 million party? Why don’t you do that?

Russian President Vladimir Putin and his wife announced that they are getting a divorce after almost 30 years of marriage. When asked why, Putin said, “We tried to make it work, but you know what they say: Men are from Malgobek, women are from Kadnikov.”

This Date In History: 1801; The Tripolitan War, between the United States and the Barbary States, began. 1865; Wagner's opera, Tristan and Isolde, premiered in Munich. 1935; Alcoholics Anonymous was founded by "Bill W."

1942; The entire male population of the Czech village of Lidice was massacred in retaliation for the death of Nazi official Reinhard Heydrich. 1946; Italy replaced its monarchy with a republic.

1967; The Six-Day War between Israel and Syria, Egypt, and Jordan ended. 1978; Affirmed won the Belmont Stakes and the Triple Crown. 2003; Ontario, Canada issued the first full same-sex marriage licenses in North America.

Picture Of The Day: The caption read, "Man saves Dog During Flood". As we all know, there's always some idiot who feels he or she is obligated to comment on everything, whether they're aware of the facts or not. Said "Idiot" wrote, "This is photo shopped. We know that dogs can swim."

Dear idiot: What if the dog had been treading water for hours and was exhausted? Worse yet, what if the animal is injured? Do yourself a favor and allow us only to believe you're an idiot. Once you write or speak, we then know you're an idiot!

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Whenever I start to disrobe in front of a lady, I always hand her a card that states "A mild sense of nausea is perfectly normal." 2) When a cop asks you to step out of the car, don't reply with "I'm too drunk, you get in." 3) Yoga pants explained: Fill a garbage bag, put your foot on it and stomped the hell out of it so it holds 9 times what it's supposed to. 4) People tell me that I have a lot of patience. The fact is that there are just too many witnesses around. 5) Have you seen the new movie, "Constipation"? It may not have come out yet.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 10th: All of that which you experience today will be catalogued under "things not to do in public again". Love moves in mysterious ways, mostly of them diagonal. Your love life is ready to flourish.

Birthdays: Gustave Courbet, painter 1819, Hattie McDaniel, singer and actress 1895, Saul Bellow, novelist 1915, Judy Garland, actress 1922, Robert Maxwell, business executive 1923, Tara Lipinski, figure skater 1982.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A guy walked into a bar and after a couple of drinks, said to the bartender, "I’ve got this great Polish joke."

The bartender glared and warned him, "Before you go telling that joke, I I think you ought to know that I’m Polish, the two bouncers on the door are Polish and most of my customers are Polish."

The guy replies, Okay, I’ll tell it slowly."

A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, turned and rushed out of the bar. The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket.

Just at that moment, he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him. Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hey boss, did you see that fellow just now? He came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five dollar tip and rushed out without paying."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Because they’ve spent all their cash on booze during a night on the town, Dave and Eric have no money for a taxi home. Dave has a drunken idea and says, "Let’s steal a bus!" He persuades Eric to break into the bus station.

Twenty minutes later, Eric has failed to emerge. Dave sticks his head round the door and asks, "What on earth are you doing?" A distressed Eric replies, "I can’t find a number seven anywhere." Dave Shouts in disbelief, "You idiot, just steal a number nine. We can get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way."

The car sped off the highway, went through the guard rail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck.The motorist said, "Good lord, mister, are you drunk?” The driver said, "Of course I'm drunk! What the hell do you think I am....a stunt driver?”

A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn’t back off, he asked her name. She replied. "Carmen." The guy said, "That’s a nice name. Who named you, your mother?"

The guys said, "That’s interesting. Why Carmen?" Carmen said, "Because I like cars and I like men." Looking directly into his eyes she asked, "So what’s your name?" He replied, "Beertits."

That's it for today, my little tiddly winks. Remember, the word "vegetarian" is an Cherokee Indian definition meaning "lousy hunter".

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

The TAC Award Is Presented To Gary Wood

Jimmy's Journal is proud to present the TAC Award to friend and fellow blogger, Gary Wood. The TAC Award, which was created in July of 2008, is given to certain bloggers and others who make life a little bit better for all the rest of us through their contributions to the community and the blogging world. Since its inception in 2008, The TAC Award has been given five times.

Gary Wood is the newest recipient of the TAC Award. Gary is a Navy veteran and a retired police officer and the list of his contributions to his communities is lengthy.

Gary is an avid musician, singer and  guitar player. He spends quite a bit of his spare time performing with his group at local churches and retirement centers. He and his wife, Anna Mae (who Gary refers to as "My Honey"), are tireless in their efforts to give back to the community.

I'm proud to call Gary Wood my friend! You can read Gary's blog by clicking this link http://oldboomerwoodys.blogspot.com/ and tell him Jimmy sent you. Thanks for your service, Gary!

The News As I See It: The weekend was big with lots of parties! Nascar ran the big race at Talladega Super Speedway which finished with an underdog win by David Ragan, Saturday's fantastic Kentucky Derby was won by Orb, who won going away, Sunday was Cinco de Mayo and I woke up this morning with Margarita salt on my lips and wondering why my girlfriend was wearing a saddle.

Obama warned Congress not to delay the immigration reform bill and is warning Syria about the use of chemical weapons. You can tell he's getting serious because he said if they keep doing it, he'll warn them again.

It's been two years since the SEAL team busted in and got Osama bin Laden. Obama watched the raid in real time. On the night of the raid, bin Laden never knew what hit him. It's like being married to a Kardashian.

On the other hand, on the night of the Benghazi attack, Obama was last seen in the evening and not again until the morning. Maybe he recorded the attack on Tivo. He still seems to be a bit "unaware" of what actually happened. It's amazing the difference in answers during "pre-election" and post-election" times.

This Date In History: 1882; Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act over President Chester A. Arthur's veto. 1889 ;The Universal Exposition opened in Paris, marking the completion and dedication of the Eiffel Tower.

1937; The German airship Hindenburg blew up and burst into flames at Lakehurst, N.J. 1941; Dictator Joseph Stalin became the premier of Russia. 1954; British athlete Roger Bannister became the first person to run a mile in under four minutes (3:59:4).

1994; The Chunnel between England and France officially opened. 1999; Scotland elected its first separate parliament in three centuries.

Picture Of The Day: An original from my niece Kristi. Gotta love that face, huh?

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I believe that Google has this master plan of taking over the world by blackmailing everyone with their search history. 2) I'm not saying I did bad things Saturday night, but, on Sunday morning, the devil wouldn't even make eye contact. 3) Marriage controversy notwithstanding, no state should legally recognize a marriage if they don't serve alcohol at the wedding. 4) I got kicked out of the hospital Saturday night. Apparently the sign "Stroke Patients Here" meant something different. 5) In Canada, they don't count one-Mississippi's, two-Mississippi.....they count one-Saskatchewan, two Saskatchewan.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Taurus - May 6th: Love is a wonderful thing that can truly change your life for the better. However, the chances of this happening to you anytime before lunch tomorrow are so remote that you might as well quit pretending that you'll find love. Go home and eat ice-cream until your brain freezes.

Birthdays: My pals Agustin and Kelly - Happy Birthday ! 19XX, Sigmund Freud, psychoanalyst 1856, Robert Peary, American arctic explorer 1856, Rudolph Valentino, actor 1895, Orson Welles, actor, director, producer 1915, Willie Mays, baseball player 1931, Tony Blair, British political leader 1953.

My Bankers

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An old man was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter.

The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?" The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

A guy was invited to an old friend's home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, et cetera.

The guy was impressed since he knew the couple had been married almost 70 years. While the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names."

His buddy smiled and said, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago."
 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pals Kristi and Wally for their contributions to today's stories.

An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, 'Ninety-nine'."

The old guy obeys and says,"99." The doctor says, "Great." Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99'." Again, the old guy says, "99."

The doctor says, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'." The old guy says, "One...Two...Three..."

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink! The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink? Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her 'the ballerina' ?" The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."

That's it for today, my little polka dots. Remember, some fads breed controversy and disdain. Just like Hitler with that tiny mustache, Kim Jong-Un is ruining that haircut for everyone else.

That's it for now. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

What's In A Name, Linda?

Jimmy's Journal has an award called the TAC Award which stands for Thanks A lot Citizen. This award was born last year with the help of my pals Jackie and Rose, who are both recipients of the award. It is my way of honoring other journalists who seem to always be there when you need them; people who always have something nice to say and take the time to visit other journalists.

My pal, Linda, who pens Linda's World, has always been there for me and her name is one I see on almost every journal I visit. I try to visit everyone's journal as I can, but Linda seems to have the time to stop by many journals to leave a kind word. Her comments are honest and show me that she actually reads the entry as opposed to many who flit from journal to journal playing comment tag. I am please to honor my pal Linda with the TAC Award. Visit Linda at http://lindasworld-lindasworld.blogspot.com/

One would think that a great deal of thought would be invested in choosing a name for a child. After all, one normally has nine months to arrive at such a decision. We are all aware, however, that there are some parents that cannot quite grasp that thought and the results are names like Johnny Johnson, Willie Williams, Tommy Thompson and the like.

Many names are taken from the Bible and from literature as well and so we have names like John, Paul, George and the ever memorable Ringo. Others parents are more inventive and these are the names that make you scratch your head and say "wha.....?" It is said that "a mind is a terrible thing to waste" but that is assuming one has a mind to waste.

Names like Lexus, Plaxico, Lavernius and the ever popular name for twins, Orangello and Lemongello (spawned from orange jello and lemon jello), make me think that besides having to pass an I.Q. test to be allowed to procreate, a further inquiry should be made as to the choice of names for children. Then again, we could just let them name the children anything they like and enjoy the amusement.

The media continues to suffer from Obamamania and understandably so with the current state of the Union and the history that has Obama made by becoming the first half white and half black president. Over the weekend, it became a little over the top as five retired NBA players watched a video of Obama on the basketball court and offered their opinions as to his skills and how he could become a better basketball player.

Methinks the media could better serve the American public by having a group of retired congressmen watch a video of his campaign promises and comment as to how he could comply with what he said he would do.

This Date In History: 1229; Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II negotiates the return of Jerusalem to Christian control with Al-Kamil, the sultan of Egypt. 1546; Martin Luther, the German theologian and religious reformer who initiated the Protestant Reformation, dies in Eisleben. 1930; The dwarf planet Pluto is discovered at the edge of the then known solar system. 1968; British Standard Time is introduced, bringing British time in line with Europe. However, it was abandoned in 1971.

Picture Of The Day: Movies you'd like to see is the theme for today's entry and I was fortunate to find this political parody on the "The Sting." With that idea firmly planted in my mind, I located a few more movies that stray a bit from the original, but are much more poignant. Perhaps these takeoffs may become sequels.

Birthdays: Mary I, queen 1516, Louis Comfort Tiffany, American painter and designer 1848, Len Deighton, thriller writer 1929, Yoko Ono, conceptual artist 1933.

Printable Things I Never Told You:

1) I was dyslexci as a chlid and wrote about it in my dairy. 2) My brother Kirt and I were asked to audition for a weekly country music show in the late 1950's but we chickened out. 3) I have hit the Florida lottery several times. My last win paid $5.00 for three numbers. 4) I was performing in nightclubs by the age of 19. 5) When I was five years old, I played "doctor" with the girl next door. I am still a "practicing physician."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A woman went to her doctor for a physical and the doctor asked what contraceptive she used. She told him she was not using a contraceptive. When doctor warned her that she could become pregnant, she replied, "that's impossible."

The doctor ask her why she believed she could not become pregnant. The woman said, "Because we do it the 'other way' so there's no chance." The doctor said, "You can still become pregnant."

The woman was mystified. "How can get pregnant by doing it the other way?" The doctor replied. "Where do you think lawyers and politicians come from?"

A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. A couple of weeks later the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't look at the cows. His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks delighted and says, "My bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows! His friend says, "What did the vet do to that bull? The farmer replies, "Just gave him some pills."

His friend asks, "What kind of pills?" The farmer says, I don't know, but they sort of taste like chocolate."

While a Texan was preparing for the first day of deer hunting season, his wife started nagging that he never asked her to go along. After several hours of argument the wife won. That next morning they drove out to the country, and the wife climbed up in a tree for a better hidden view, about 100 yards from his blind.

Just as the hunter reached the blind, he heard a loud bang coming from the wife's position. As the Texan ran up to her, he saw that she was holding her gun on a man nearby and shouting, "It's my deer! Get away from It!" The sheepish-looking stranger just nodded slowly and said, "OK, lady..... It's your deer.... Just let me get my saddle off of it!"

That's it for today my little honey buns. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !