Happy Birthday Willie !

Willie Nelson says his birthday is today although Texas State records say it's April 30th. I'm going with Willie though and wishing him a happy birthday today. Willie was born on April (29-30), 1933 in Abbot, Texas.

Over the years, Willie's had a lot of hit records including "On the Road Again", "To All the Girls I've Loved Before", and "Pancho and Lefty".

Willie is also a prolific song writer having wrote songs that would become country standards, including "Funny How Time Slips Away", "Hello Walls", "Pretty Paper", and "Crazy". Willie also wrote the hit song "Night Life" which he sold for $150 in tight times. Ray Price eventually recorded the song and it became a number one hit. So happy birthday to "The Red Headed Stranger" Willie Nelson and keep the songs coming !

So you wake up in your luxury bed, slide out of your luxury sheets to get into your luxury shower, you pour a cup of luxury coffee, and add some luxury sugar, then put on you luxury suit.....yada, yada, yada. Then you leave your luxury home and get into.......an Acura? At what point in time did I forget the idea and definition of luxury? I had to Google luxury. Nope, no Acura pictures there.....

The News As I See It: A new report found that the worst job in the U.S. is being a newspaper reporter. They say it's better for writers to just focus on fiction and become a CNN reporter

All five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents if you count the Hillary-Michelle ticket in 2016.

Plans are being discussed in California to let illegal immigrants serve on juries. Talk about doing the jobs Americans don’t want to do! It’s all yours, thanks.

The United States Treasury announced that they will put into circulation a newly designed $100 bill in October. Of course, by that time, it should be worth about 50 bucks, but that's ok.

This Date In History: 1429; Joan of Arc entered the city of Orléans. She would end its months-long siege and would become known as the "Maid of Orléans." 1916; The Easter rebellion in Ireland ended with the surrender of Irish nationalists.

1945; American soldiers liberated the Dachau concentration camp. 1978; Japan's Naomi Uemura, traveling by sled dog, became the first person to reach the North Pole alone. 1980; Film director Alfred Hitchcock died at age of 80.

1986; Pitcher Roger Clemens set a major league baseball record by striking out 20 batters in a regular nine-inning game. He repeated his feat in 1996. 1992; A Los Angeles jury acquitted four police officers accused of beating Rodney King. Massive rioting and looting ensued.

1997; The first joint U.S.-Russian space walk was made by Jerry Linenger and Vasily Tsibliyev from space station Mir. 2011; Kate Middleton marries Prince William in a lavish royal wedding at Westminster Abbey in London.

Picture Of The Day: Willie Nelson - Rock on !

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If you see me running you'd better join me because it’s just something I don’t do. 2) So he asked me, "Do you have any drugs or alcohol on you?" I answered, "Yep, I'm all set. Thanks Officer" 3) Some advice for young parents answering their children's future questions, "Dad, why did your generation find a fat Korean guy singing and pretending to ride a horse entertaining?" (You): "I don't know son, I just don't know." 4) Forrest Gump's Facebook account has been hacked. His password was "1forrest1". 5) My girlfriend and I went camping this weekend in her SUV and two raccoons got in the car. Long story short, if you see two coons speeding in a 2011 Jeep Cherokee, email me.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Taurus - April 29th: Just as small peppers are supposed to be the hottest, there may be a small person who's ready to heat up your life. Watch out for the seeds though, they cause problems.

Birthdays: William Randolph Hearst, American journalist and publisher 1863, Sir Thomas Beecham, conductor 1879, Duke Ellington, musician 1899, Hirohito, Japanese emperor 1901, Zubin Mehta, conductor 1936, Dale Earnhardt, auto racer 1951, Jerry Seinfeld, comedian 1955, Michelle Pfeiffer, actress 1958, Daniel Day-Lewis, actor 1958.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. When he opens the door, he encounters two sheriff's deputies, one of whom asks if he is married and, if so, whether the deputy can see a picture of the wife. The guy says "sure" and shows him a picture of his wife.

The deputy looks carefully at the picture and then gravely says, "I'm sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck." The guy says, "I know, but she has a great personality, is an excellent cook and lets me play golf whenever I want to!"

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs.

Finally, after she had crossed her legs enough times, her husband asks, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" She answered with a seductive smile, Yes." Her husband replied, "Thank God. For a moment, I thought the stuffing was coming out of the sofa." (He never heard the gunshot.)

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A young woman walked into the confessional and said to the priest, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned." The priest replied, "Confess you sins and be forgiven." The young woman said, "Last night, my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."

The priest said,"Squeeze the juice of seven lemons into a glass and drink the juice." The woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?" The priest answered, "No, but it will wipe that smile off your face."

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says "nothing's wrong" and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"

Two cows were grazing on the side of a hill and one turned to the other and said, "Mooo." The other cow replied, "Damn, I was just going to say that."

That's it for today, my little rosebuds. Remember, don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

That's it for now. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !