Microsoft - We Have A Problem

I spent the day on the phone with Microsoft trying to resolve a problem caused by one of their faulty Windows updates. It amazes me how they can keep a straight face when they sell products knowing that their customer service is outsourced.

Their updates caused the problem and, to date, they have not solved the problem. My intention is for them to give me a Windows upgrade.

It's not just Microsoft. Most of the electronics customer service sites are outsourced. The way you can tell is if they sound like someone who works at Seven-Eleven and tells you his name is "Billy".

Three hours on the phone as two different "techs" worked on the problem and, aside from a phone conference with a "level 2" tech tomorrow, nothing was resolved.

I'm actually too tired to go into further detail, but between this nagging bug and three hours of talking to "Billy", I'm beat.

The News As I See It:  Obama met with the president of Mexico. When asked what it's like to govern 100 million Mexican people, Obama said, "It's challenging."

During a recent interview, a White House adviser said Joe Biden is the reason Obama got elected both times. Then he said, "He's also the reason we got banned from Applebee's."

Some areas near Dallas experienced a 3.5-magnitude earthquake, which some blame on fracking. However, scientists say that it was more likely aftershocks from Chris Christie celebrating at the Cowboys game.

A new report, says that the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. If you're an optimist, every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level.

In Las Vegas, the Consumer Electronics Show is going on. The show also features high-tech gadgets for pets. One device is a smart feeder, which costs $250. That is a ridiculous amount to spend on a dog bowl, unless your dog is a very, very good boy.

Paul Revere had a time capsule. They opened it up after a couple of hundred years and they found a stack of love letters from Barbara Walters.

They found O.J. Simpson's lost Heisman Trophy. So we can all sleep better tonight. No word on the long-lost murder weapon.

This Date In History: 1788; Connecticut became the 5th state in the United States. 1861; Mississippi became the second state to secede from the Union. 1905; The Russian Revolution of 1905 was sparked by troops firing on petitioners to Czar Nicholas in St. Petersburg.

1964; Anti-American rioting broke out in the Panama Canal Zone. 1968; Surveyor 7, the last of America's unmanned lunar probes, landed on the Moon.

Picture Of The Day: When cultivating cats, remember to plant them at least six inches apart to ensure proper growth.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Probably one of the most worrisome statistics in years finds that 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental Illness. That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated. 2) After seeing enough episodes of "Cops", I know that you should avoid all people with blurry faces. 3) I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. 4) Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any ol' person vote. 5) My friend's new year resolution was to learn Spanish. I asked him how long he's been at it and he said, "dos weekos"......and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Capricorn - January 9th: Don't trust little birdies, they're renown liars. The story of the tortoise and the hare will make you rethink things the coming week. Don't worry, the tortoise still wins because the hare doesn't read fairy tales.

Birthdays: Carrie Chapman Catt, suffragist 1859, Hayyim Nahman Bialik, poet, publisher 1873, John B. Watson, psychologist 1878, Karel Capek, author 1890, Simone de Beauvoir, author 1908, Richard Nixon, 37th President of the United States 1913, Har Gobind Khorana, biochemist 1922, Bob Denver, actor 1935, Joan Baez, folk singer and political activist 1941, Jimmy Page, musician 1944, Imelda Staunton, actor 1956, Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge 1982.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had avocados."

A little boy had just learned to count on his fingers. One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him and addition question. So they uncle asked, "What is three plus four?" The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven."

The uncle said, "Listen kid, you can't count it out on your hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets."

So the little boy put his hands in his pockets. Then his uncle asked, "What is five plus five?" The uncle saw movement in the boys pockets, then the boy said, "Eleven."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to Brother Kirt for his contribution to today's stories. 

A young man wanted to get his wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. He said, "Hi Meg, how do you like your new phone?"

Meg replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though." Her husband asked, "What's that, sweetie?" Meg answered, "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

A pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Asking questions during children's sermons is crucial. Asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

After the pastor asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

That's it for today, my little tidbits. Remember, single people always champion being single until they meet someone special. Then they transform into a hypocriticalpotamus. The regularly scheduled trek to AREA 51 is still off the plate.

Have a terrific weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !