Daytona 500 Qualifying A Chinese Fire Drill

Nascar pole qualifying on Sunday was a joke! No one was really prepared for what happened, but Nascar seriously needs to rethink this on the larger tracks. Speeds are way too high to try to put on a "cute little show."

Drivers gave their opinions on the new group qualifying format for the Daytona 500, using adjectives ranging from, "pathetic" to "idiotic", "stupid" and "mayhem."

Nascar's qualifying theory is that it doesn't want teams wasting money on single-car setups and it doesn't want a three-hour qualifying event when it can have a 45-minute show that relies a little bit more on what makes the car strong in a race.

But it hasn't achieved an entertaining product that gives fans a sense that the driver who leads the field for the sport's biggest race truly has the deserving car -- and even more importantly that the drivers who could potentially miss the race deserved that fate.

Finally, the way the drivers game the system, sitting at the end of pit road trying to fake when they actually will start their qualifying run in hopes of ending up at the rear of the pack, looks plain stupid.

Jeff Gordon, in his 23rd and final Daytona 500, will start from the pole. Gordon played the game of group qualifying on a restrictor-plate track perfectly for his second career Daytona 500 pole. Jimmy Johnson took the outside pole position. The rest of the Daytona 500 field will be determined on Thursday in the Twin 125 mile races.

One of the qualifying attempts produced a wreck caused by drivers trying to squeeze into places they didn't fit. The cause of the wreck seemed to be when someone slowed while Reed Sorenson tried to fit in ahead of Clint Boyer, a move that obviously didn't work. The ensuing crash took out Boyer and Sorenson and damaged a few others including Denny Hamlin.

Clint Boyer

After qualifying Sunday, 13 drivers know they will be in. Only Gordon and Johnson know where they will start (the front row), but Aric Almirola, Ricky Stenhouse Jr., Carl Edwards and Jamie McMurray have the best speeds among the rest and are guaranteed spots.

Kevin Harvick, Ryan Newman, Hamlin, Joey Logano, Brad Keselowski and Matt Kenseth are guaranteed a provisional based on 2014 points. Tony Stewart is in with a past champion's provisional if he needs it.

The next few races in the Nascar Speedweek schedule will be entertaining and perhaps nest year, Nascar will make every driver leave the pits immediately when the qualifying sections begin there by eliminating the last minute and dangerous rush at the end.

Sorry to hear that singer Lesley Gore has passed away at the relatively young age of 68. Her memorable hits included, "It's My Party" and "You Don't Own Me." Rest in peace Ms. Gore.

The News As I See It: Researchers at the University of Vermont determined that the world's happiest language is Spanish. German finished fourth, which I find hard to believe. In German, even "I love you" sounds like a threat.

Washington State has more pot than they can smoke, which might help to explain why Seattle Coach Pete Carroll called for a passing play on the one yard line.

Thousands of San Francisco residents may have been exposed to measles because an infected LinkedIn employee used public transit this week. If you visit San Francisco and the worst disease you get is measles, consider yourself lucky. On the bright side, it’s the most connections anyone on LinkedIn has ever made.

This Date In History: 1804; U.S. frigate Philadelphia, captured and held by Barbary pirates at Tripoli during the Tripolitan War, was set fire to and destroyed by a small group of men led by Stephen Decatur. 1918; Lithuania proclaimed its independence from Russia.

1923; The tomb of King Tutankhamen, discovered in 1922, was opened. 1937; Nylon was patented. 1959; Fidel Castro became the leader of Cuba after having ousted the right-wing dictator Fulgencio Batista.

1968; The country's first 911 phone system went into service in Haleyville, Ala. 1999; Turkish commandos captured Kurdish rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan in Kenya, sparking seizures of embassies in Europe by Kurds.

Picture Of The Day: The sharp looking McDonald's entry.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My girlfriend woke up the morning after our late night Valentine's Day dinner on the town with a huge smile on her face! I love Sharpie markers when I've been drinking. 2) I don't like to brag, but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.

3) I like to make shopping lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list while at the store. It's a fun game. 4) Wanna hear me read a receipt from my last trip to the grocery store? That's how interested I am in listening to the details of your new baby.

5) Today, I learned that the average male has had 15 sex partners, the average female has had 7 and the average penguin has had one. I also learned that I’m a penguin.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aquarius - February 16th: Your appetite may increase as the doctors finally remove the scissors they left inside you during your last operation. Life can be as romantic as you wish to make it. Like the old saying goes, "a man with three fish has enough in his heart to help him build a picnic chair."

Birthdays: Frederick William, the Great Elector 1620, Heinrich Barth, explorer 1821, Robert Flaherty, explorer and film producer 1884, Katharine Cornell, actress 1898, George F. Kennan, diplomat and historian 1904 Sonny Bono, singer, entertainer, politician 1935, Richard Ford, novelist 1944, LeVar Burton, actor 1957, John McEnroe, tennis player 1959.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure his Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air. The Lab was stretched full-out on the back seat and he wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.

He walked to the curb backward, pointing his finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay! Do you hear me?......Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, A pretty young blonde, gave him a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in 'Park'?"

A businessman in 1st Class said to a gorgeous air hostess, "What’s your name?" The hostess said, "Angela Benz, sir!" The businessman said, "Lovely name, any relation to Mercedes Benz?" The hostess, "Yes sir, very close." The businessman asked,"How close?" The hostess replied, "Same price!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. The personnel director says, "You’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute." Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.

The director says, "Also, you must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course.” This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.

The director continues, "There’s one last requirement. You must be bilingual." With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!"

A golfer was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first few holes.

The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms. The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to hustle other golfers. The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings." The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation and, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll perform the marriage ceremony free!"

That's it for today, my little fire flies. Remember, as we get older, our memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, as we get older, our memory is not as sharp as it used to be.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !