Friday the 13th Full Moon - A Weekend Of Incompetency

Three major crises are affecting America as the White House and federal agencies are plagued by a rapidly spreading political virus that scientist are now calling "Assholitis". Crisis One: Every Mexican and Central American that can walk is illegally entering the U.S. and Obama sits on his ass.

Crises Two: Current attacks in Iraq by Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) terrorists are threatening to overthrow the Iraqi government, the ISIS group well known by the White house for nearly one year, and Obama sits on his ass.

Crises Three: On White House Political Information Dump Day, I mean Friday, The Internal Revenue Service told Congress that it has lost a trove of emails to and from Lois Lerner, a central figure in the agency's Tea Party controversy, sparking outrage from congressional investigators who have been probing the agency for more than a year.

The IRS said it cannot locate many of Lerner's emails prior to 2011 because her computer crashed during the summer of that year.The IRS acknowledged last year that agents had improperly scrutinized applications for tax-exempt status by Tea Party and other conservative groups.

Lois Lerner

Republican congressional leaders were incensed. Rep. Dave Camp, R-Mich., chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee said, "The fact that I am just learning about this, over a year into the investigation, is completely unacceptable and now calls into question the credibility of the IRS's response to congressional inquiries. There needs to be an immediate investigation and forensic audit by Department of Justice as well as the inspector general."

You know Obama and AG Eric Holder are sitting on their asses on this one, as well, because both are possible targets of the investigation. Obama and Nero, both fiddling around as their respective countries crashed and burned......

Oh, I almost forgot. The Miami Heat got their ass whooped by the San Antonio spurs in the NBA Championship. Congratulations to San Antonio,

Most children have technological savvy but how many of today's children know important emergency procedures? Does you child know where the gas cut off switch is? Do they know what a pilot light is? Ask them if they know where the fire extinguisher is and how to use it.

There are procedures that can be life saving provided the child is aware of their use. The location of the fuse box or electrical panel and how to cut the power off is an important thing to know. Additionally, there should be an emergency exit plan in case of fire and monthly drills to rehearse the exit procedure.

While most of us rely on our children to program and use our cell phones, keep in mind that our children rely on us in case of emergency.

The News As I See It: The World Cup action is going crazy. Mexico won the match against Cameroon. Thousands of Mexicans are dancing and going crazy in the Mexican city of Los Angeles.

I was surprised how many Cameroon fans there are in Hollywood. There are big names like Cameroon Diaz and James Cameroon.

Last Friday was the 13th and it was a full moon. There won't be another full moon on Friday the 13th until the year 2049. By then it'll be a national holiday, declared by President Honey Boo Boo.

A full moon on Friday the 13th is very rare. It's a combination of things you don't see often, like the Bravo network and straight dudes. Like the L.A. Lakers and winning. Like the Pope and a small hat. Like supermodels and food.

People are saying that the Kardashians think Khloe's new boyfriend doesn't love her. They think he's simply using her to be famous or as they put it, "Welcome to the family."

This Date In History: 1487; The Battle of Stoke ended the Wars of the Roses. 1858; Senate candidate Abraham Lincoln declared, "a house divided against itself cannot stand." 1904; Events in James Joyce's novel Ulysses took place on this day, which is celebrated as Bloomsday, for the main character, Leopold Bloom.

1933; President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the National Industrial Recovery Act. 1963; Valentina Tereshkova of the USSR became the first woman in space.

1996; Russia voted in its first independent presidential election. Boris Yeltsin eventually won in a runoff. 2004; The 9/11 Commission determined that Saddam Hussein had no strong links to al-Qaeda, contradicting White House beliefs.

Picture Of The Day: No need for words.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My girlfriend said to me, "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I said, "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you." 2) I'm not against half naked women....at least not as often as I'd like to be. 3) The wind blew a smart car into my lane yesterday, so I rolled down my window and swatted it out of the way. 4) I wonder how many different animals we tried to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it? 5) You know you're getting older when you have to change your underwear after every sneeze.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 16th: Drinking alcohol may well turn today into the worst tomorrow possible. Try to ensure that you go out tonight wearing the underwear with the really strong elastic.

Birthdays: Edward Davy, physician, scientist 1806, Stan Laurel, comic actor 1890, Barbara McClintock, geneticist 1902, Joyce Carol Oates, American author 1935.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Married 25 years, a man took a look at his wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond."

He continued, "Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

His wife, being a reasonable woman, told him, "Go out and find yourself a hot 25 year old blonde and she would make sure that once again, you'll be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car and sleeping on a sofa bed."

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer. I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Three sisters, ages 82, 84 and 86, lived together in a house. One night, the 86-year-old drew a bath, put her foot in and paused. She yelled downstairs, "Was I getting into or out of the bath?"

The 84-year-old yelled back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 82-year-old was sitting in the kitchen, sipping tea and listening to her sisters. She says to herself, "I hope I never get that forgetful."

She knocks on wood for good measure, then turns and yells upstairs, "I'll come and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the front door."

An old man, very well dressed, hair well groomed and great looking suit walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady.

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

That's it for today, my little Tweety Birds. Remember, old age is when you have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !