Got The Monday Blues?

Monday is the day of the week that I most equate with the possibilities of going to hell. The only good thing about today was that I thought it was Sunday until 9 am. My smile quickly went south when I realized that I had to resume doing the things I put off on Friday.

Yep, I got the Monday Blues. It could be a song or merely a lament, but nevertheless, it's a day that has taken up 1/7 of my life thus far.

Oddly enough, Monday's character takes on a whole new paradigm when linked with Saturday and Sunday (that would be a three day holiday weekend for the hard of understanding).

Maybe if we looked at Mondays differently, we wouldn't oppose them so vehemently......[pause, thoughtful stare].... Nope, Mondays suck......

The News As I See It: People are worried about the effects of the budget cuts. The automatic budget cuts could lead to a huge drop in food inspections. So be careful if you eat at the Olive Garden. Your meal may contain trace amounts of Italian food.

There is a new movie out called, "Oz the Great and Powerful." It's a prequel to "The Wizard of Oz." I hope this movie isn't some hipster version of "The Wizard of Oz" where the Tin Man gets taken to the recycling center and the Scarecrow is exchanged for a sparkly vampire.

James Franco plays the man who eventually becomes "Oz." He's a conman who tries to trick gullible people into thinking he has special talents. I don't know what he does in the movie. Just imagine Obama goes to Hollywood.

Last weekend, a major snowstorm hit the East Coast. In Washington, D.C., everything ground to a halt – and then the snowstorm hit.

Arctic Fox

This Date In History: 1861; The Confederate States of America adopted its constitution. 1888; A torrential rainstorm hit the East Coast. The rain turned to snow the next day and it became the Blizzard of 1888, the most famous snowstorm in American history. It caused more than 400 deaths.

1930; William Howard Taft became the first U.S. president to be buried in the National Cemetery in Arlington, Virginia. 1941; President Roosevelt signs the Lend-Lease Bill. 1942; General Douglas MacArthur leaves the Philippines saying, "I shall return."

1985; Mikhail Gorbachev became head of the Soviet Union following the death of Konstantin Chernenko. At 54, he was the youngest member of the ruling Politburo. 1990; A newly elected parliament in Lithuania declared its independence from the Soviet Union.

1990; Augusto Pinochet of Chile, dictator since 1973, steps down. 1993; Janet Reno won unanimous Senate confirmation to be the first female U.S. Attorney General. 2004; Over 200 people were killed and over 1,400 were injured when bombs exploded in Madrid train stations. Al-Qaeda took responsibility for the attacks.

2011; Japan is hit by an enormous earthquake that triggers a deadly 23-foot tsunami in the country's north, about 230 miles northeast of Tokyo. Cooling systems in one of the reactors at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station fail shortly after the earthquake, causing a nuclear crisis.

Picture Of The Day: Beautiful.....color by Disney?

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Beware of half truths.....you may get the wrong half. 2) Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second. 3) The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste. 4) A friend is someone who will help you move. A good friend is someone who will help you move a dead body. 5) The way to get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word is to get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "Bingo!"......and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Pisces - March 11th: Today is a great day for lovers everywhere. Find positives where ever they are and accentuate them. These positives are everywhere. Do not dwell on the negatives and you will have happiness. It's quite simple, really. The best things in life are free, including back massages and sex. However, since it is possible to pay for these things as well, one wonders whether they ought to be tried that way.

Birthdays: Sir Malcolm Campbell, automobile and speedboat racer 1885, Vannevar Bush, engineer 1890, Harold Wilson, statesman 1916, Ralph Abernathy, civil rights leader 1926, Rupert Murdoch, publisher 1931, Antonin Scalia, Supreme Court Justice 1936.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: When asked by their host if she would like another drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said, "No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink."

The host asked, "Why is that?" The blonder replied, "Because after one drink I can feel it. After two drinks.....anyone can!"

A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road, approaches the blonde lady driver and asks, "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident!"

She continued, "I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror,the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."



"Can me and my new friend come in?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The angry husband said, "That wife of mine is a liar," to his sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. His friend asked, "How do you know?"

The husband said, "She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd spent the night with her sister, Shirley."

The friend replied, "So?" The husband said, "So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!"

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pussy."

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise. He said, "You need to make sure this dog runs around. Try playing a game of fetch with him."

The blonde said, "I can't play fetch with my dog." The doctor said. "Why not?" She replied, "He can't throw."

That's it for today, my little Popsicles. Remember, there is a technical meteorological term for the sunny, warm day which follows two days of rain or snow. It's called a "Monday."

That's it for now. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !