The Idiots At AOL Responsible For Terminating Journals Have Been Nominated For The CAT Award !

Friday is finally here and not a moment too soon. The way the economy has been reacting this week kinda makes you want to have a cocktail. I'll be heading over to AREA 51 this evening to see my pals and see what's going on. It's karaoke night and with the change in ownership at Lakes Cafe and Pub, it should be interesting to see what's up with the new crowd.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award has one nomination from Jude, author of My Way Again, who nominated the idiots at AOL that were responsible for the demise of AOL Journals. Although I smell a shoo-in nominee, nominations are open until Monday at 12:00 noon, so if you spot 'em, nominate 'em.

This Date In History 1845 The Naval School (later the U.S. Naval Academy) opens in Annapolis, Maryland. 1871 The great Chicago fire is put out; it has destroyed nearly a third of central Chicago. 1886 The first tuxedo is worn at a dinner club in New York.

1913 The Panama Canal, an American-built waterway connecting the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, is completed with the explosion of the Gamboa Dike. 1973 After pleading no contest to tax evasion, Spiro Agnew becomes the first U.S. vice president to resign in disgrace.

Picture Of The Day One of my favorite times of the year is Autumn and the beautiful song "Autumn Leaves" comes to mind. With Autumn comes the obligatory changing of the leaves and the lovely colors of fall begin to display themselves.

Birthdays Henry Cavendish, British physicist and chemist 1731, Giuseppe Verdi, Italian opera composer 1814, Helen Hayes, American actor 1900, Thelonius Monk, American jazz pianist and composer 1917.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic.

The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small,' $6,500 for 'medium,' and $14,000 for 'large.' The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.

The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. 'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor. The man said, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week Can you do this?" The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Friday's, I fish! "

That's it for today my little butter beans. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

ACORN (the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now), is the nation's largest community organization of low and moderate income families and tries to get low-income people registered to vote. Tuesday, Nevada state authorities seized records and computers from ACORN's Las Vegas office after fielding complaints of voter fraud. The group was submitting the information through a voter sign-up drive known as Project Vote.

Bob Walsh, spokesman for the Nevada secretary of state's office said, "Some of them used nonexistent names, some of them used false addresses and some of them were duplicates of previously filed applications," describing the complaints, which largely came from the registrar in Clark County, Nevada.

Secretary of State Ross Miller said the fraudulent registrations included forms for the starting lineup of the Dallas Cowboys football team. But it's not the first time ACORN's been under investigation for registration irregularities. The raid is the latest of at least nine investigations into possible fraudulent voter registration forms submitted by ACORN -- the probes have involved ACORN workers in Wisconsin, New Mexico, Indiana and other states. In response to the Las Vegas raid, Republican Sen. John Ensign and seven other senators penned a letter to the Federal Housing Finance Agency calling for the suspension of taxpayer dollars to "controversial groups like ACORN."

The letter referred to contributions that potentially could come from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac under the Housing and Economic Recovery Act of 2008.

In 2006, ACORN also committed what Washington Secretary of State Sam Reed called the "worse case of election fraud" in the state's history. In the case, ACORN submitted just over 1,800 new voter registration forms, and all but six of the 1,800 names were fake. In Indianapolis, Indiana, there are 644,00 eligible voters and 677,000 voter registrations. Nationwide, ACORN has reistered over 1,300,000 new voters, many in key swing states.

I finally transferred my AOL journal and archives to Blogspot and although it took four attempts, all of my previous posts are now here. Should you become nostalgic and wish to read any older posts, you can find the site at http://jimmysjournal-theoriginal.blogspot.com/

This Date In History 1701: Yale University is chartered. 1876: The first telephone conversation over outdoor wires is held. 1894: The first "magic lantern" feature shown (precursor to the cinema) is shown at the Carbon Studio in New York City. 1930: Laura Ingalls becomes the first woman to complete a solo transcontinental airplane flight.

Picture Of The Day I'd be willing to bet that O. J. Simpson sure wishes he had looked a little bit harder for the real killer of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman. Maybe now that smug look that he always maintained will begin to slip away from his face. We all knew that sooner or later, he'd screw up again. They all do! Gotcha !

Birthdays Thomas Warton, English literary historian 1728, John Lennon, British singer and songwriter 1940, Trent Lott, senator 1941, John Entwhistle, member of The Who 1944.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Two old ladies, Sunny and Tina, were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. Tina pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Sunny said. "What's that?" Tina replied, "A condom." Sunny asked, "Where'd you get it?" Tina said "You can get them at any drugstore."

The next day, Sunny hobbled into the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a pack of condoms. The guy looked at her strangely (she was, after all, in her eighties), but politely asked what brand she preferred. Tina said, "Doesn't matter, as long as it fits a Camel."

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the present time, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed .Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in,and thats when all the trouble started....

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist to fill his prescription for Viagra. "How many do you want?" asked the pharmacist. The man replied, "Just a few, maybe half a dozen. I cut each one into four pieces."

Upon hearing that, the pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex." The old fellow said, "Hey, I'm ninety years old. I just want it to stick out enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

That's it for today my little tiddly winks. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Yo Bama ! Yo Mama !

This isn't one of the best years for presidential candidates, but then again, has there ever been a good year? I wasn't impressed by either candidate last night, but depending on who you read or which news station you listen to (liberal or conservative), each political position's candidate won. I'm continually astounded how each side of the ticket maintains one blind eye to the realities of these two assholes. It's either experience and the wisdom that comes from it (republican view) or we need change and we have a messiah (democratic view).

Personally, I think they both say exactly what you need and want to hear, knowing full well that they'll say anything to get elected. No matter which candidate wins, there won't be a damned thing accomplished unless Congress decides to work as a team.

It's Hump Day and I'm going on field trip to AREA 51 and have a few cocktails with my pals. With the European and Asian economies in the same situation that the United States currently is, I'm quite sure that tonight will find a lot of people having a few themselves.

In an unrelated incident, President Bush has been advised by his staff that three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in front of the U. S. embassy in Brazil. Visibly upset, he turned to vice president Dick Cheney and asked, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

This Date In History: 1871; The great Chicago fire starts. 1919; Sixty-three planes take off from San Francisco and New York in the first transcontinental air race in the United States.1928; Police raid 20 speakeasies in New York City in an effort to crack down on illegal liquor sales. 1956; New York Yankees pitcher Donald James Larson pitches the first perfect game in a World Series--no walks, no hits, no runs.

Picture Of The Day The boredom of last night's presidential town hall meeting irritated me enough to put my thoughts together to create a picture. Rather than be a hot spirited debate, complete with name calling, hair pulling and tobacco spitting, it turned out to be just a good ole boy style bar-b-cue at some backwoods truckstop.

Birthdays: Juan Peron, president of Argentina (1895), Eddie Rickenbacker, World War I leading American combat pilot and race car driver (1890), Sigourney Weaver, American stage and motion-picture actor (1949).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff. President Bush went up to the man and said, "Aren't you Moses? " The man never answered but just kept staring ahead. Again the President said, "Moses! " in a loud voice. The man just kept staring ahead, never answering the president.

Soon a secret service agent came along and President Bush grabbed him and said, "Doesn't this man look like Moses to you? " The secret service agent agreed with the President. Well," said the President, "Every time I say his name, he just keeps staring ahead and refuses to speak. Watch!" Again, the President yelled, "Moses! " and again the man stared ahead.

The secret service man went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?" The man leaned over and whispered, "Yes, I am Moses. But the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert!"

That's it for today my little short shorts. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

The political name calling between John McCain and Barack Hussein Obama reminds me of the story of the famous piccolo player who was finally given a lead solo in the band. The bandleader called his name and announced that he would play the lead solo in the next song. When the song began, the piccolo player started his solo and someone in the rear of the audience yelled, "The piccolo player's an asshole."

Indignant, the bandleader stopped the song and said, "Who called the piccolo player an asshole?" From the rear of the audience, a voice replied, "Who called that asshole a piccolo player?"

Tonight, there is a presidential debate and both of the participants are piccolo players. Heaven help us !

This Date In History: 1571; The Battle of Lepanto, the first major victory of the Christians against the Ottoman Empire, is fought. 1765; Delegates from nine American colonies meet in New York City to respond to the Stamp Act. In the Declaration of Rights and Grievances, the Stamp Act Congress resolves to boycott goods subject to the tax. 1950; Under General Douglas MacArthur, the first American tank crew crosses the 38th parallel and invades North Korea.

Picture Of The Day: CNN, the liberal cable news organization located in Atlanta (aka Detroit South) normally has its head up Barack Obama's ass. Lately, they've been checking out the Republicans to see if they missed anything.

Birthdays: James Whitcomb Riley, American poet (1849), Neils Bohr, Danish physicist and Nobel laureate (1885), Henry Wallace, 33rd vice president of the United States (1888).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

There were three men playing a round of golf, Moses, Jesus, and an old man. They get to the 18th hole and Moses gets to tee-off first; he hits his ball into the water. Next up is Jesus, and he does the same as Moses, hits it right into the water. Next up is the old man and he hits it right into the water with Moses and Jesus.

All three approach the edge of the pond. Moses walks up a little closer, throws his arms high into the air and the water of the pond begins to part down the middle. He walks down to his ball, hits it out of the pond and into the hole. Next up,Jesus. He walks out onto the water and his ball floats up to the surface, so he hits his ball off of the water into the hole.

The old man decides he will try something cool so he walks into the water and hits his ball, which flies out of the water, hits a bird, bounces off a tree, then gets deflected off the pin and hits a rabbit then bounces into the hole. Moses turns to Jesus and says," I hate it when your father plays!"

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher... I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked. The drunk says, "No, I didn't!" The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?" The drunk says, "No, I did not Reverend."

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?" The old drunk wipes his eyes and asks the preacher... "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

That's it for today my little fiddle faddles. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Mondays Should Only Be used For Long Weekends !

Late Friday, O. J. Simpson was found guilty of kidnapping, armed robbery and 10 other charges for gathering five men a year ago and storming a room at a hotel-casino to seize Simpson sports mementos. The crime took place on September 13, the jury deliberated 13 hours on the 13 day trial and the conviction happened on the13th anniversary of his Los Angeles acquital of the murders of his ex-wife, Nicole, and Ronald Goldman.

While I'm sure that the conviction will be appealed and "Podium Al" Sharpton will be scurrying from his garbage can to scream racial prejudice, I revel in the thought that a dose of poetic justice has been served to O. J. Simpson.

This Date In History: 1683; The first German Mennonite settlers arrive in America. They will establish Germantown, outside Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 1876; A group of public and university librarians establish the American Library Association to promote the enjoyment of reading.

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1927; The Jazz Singer, starring Al Jolson, debuts in New York. It is the first "talkie," or full-length film featuring audible dialogue. 1973; Full-scale war erupts in the Middle East, as Egypt and Syria attack Israel while Israelis are observing the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur. 1981; Egyptian president Anwar al-Sadat is assassinated by Muslim extremists.

Birthdays: My pal, Nancy, author of NancyLuvsPix. Happy Birthday, sweets (19XX), Jenny Lind, Swedish soprano singer (1820), George Westinghouse, American Inventor (1846), Helen Wills Moody, American tennis player (1905), Thor Heyerdahl, Norwegian anthropologist (1914).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A guy phones a law office and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry but he died last week."

The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week." The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer.

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By this time the receptionist is getting annoyed and replies, "I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy responds, "Because I just love hearing it."

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A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?" The young man said, "Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks."

The Pastor inquired, "What happened?" The young man replied, "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there."

The Pastor said, "You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," The young man said, "That's ok, we're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."

That's it for today my little chitlins. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

At Least It's Friday !

Well, at least it's Friday and that means I'll be heading over to AREA 51 this evening to party with my pals. I wish you guy's were with me because this week's been difficult for all of us, and I'm sure you could use a cocktail, as well. It's been an interesting week as well and I made my last post and bid farewell to AOL Journals today. It's just been a bit much to try and maintain three journals without developing callouses on my gluteus maximus (or in my case, minimus). Nevertheless, I'll trudge on, still not totally satisfied with the look of my journal. It's a youngster yet and after some braces and prep schooling, it'll be ok.

I have noticed three things that I don't like. The spellchecker has the vocabulary of a fourteen-year-old, the blog area is not wide enough and the colors are very limited. I'm sure all these things can be addressed or changed, but I have no patience for these things.

I was reading through one of my favorite magazines today, looking for something (or someone) for the pictures portion of my journal. Since I still have not figured out a way to suitably add photographs, I thought I'd just add this picture of my sweet, Rocio.

I have a tried several different methods to add the pictures, but I'm sure I figure it all out in due time. There are ways to add pictures on the sidebar, including slide shows, but nothing for the main body (no pun intended).

The end result is that I'll continue to experiment with my format and hopefully Monday will have my journal in a format that I'm happy with. It's great to see all of the new, same faces from AOL and I think we'll be fine once everyone has settled in.

I'm sorry for the tardy post as I try to post daily around 5:00 pm (EST). That's it for today, my Wile E. Coyotes. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

You may have figured out what I'm attempting to do here (other than slash my wrists). The plan is to attempt to recreate a lay-out, or format, if you will, sonewhat similar that I used on AOL. So far, it's adequate, but I'm having to get used to the idea of a dark background (my choice). I do have the option of using a simple white background, but since change is in the air (except for Obama), I'm going to stick with this for a while.

The Pictures: What! You want pictures, too? Well I'm not sure how I'll do it 'cause today's a whole new ball of wax.

This Date In History: 2008; Day three finds Jimmy yelling obscenities at his computer, while his trusty attack cat, Shithead, giggles with amusement.

Birthdays: 2008; Too many to mention. If I started in China and began writing today, by the time I was finished, there'd be another shitload of 'em born.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. When everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane. If everything is going well, you have probably overlooked something.

That it's it for today, my little rabbit punchers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !