The Eagle Has Landed !

Forty years ago, on July 20th, 1969, Apollo 11 astronauts, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, landed the lunar module Eagle on the Moon. With astronaut Michael Collins orbiting above in the command module, Armstrong and Aldrin landed safely in the Sea of Tranquility base becoming the first humans on the Moon.

Millions of people around the world were glued to their televisions and radios awaiting news about the landing. Armstrong made his descent to the Moon's surface and spoke his famous line "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." After their scheduled tasks were completed, the astronauts rested for seven hours and then lifted off to rendezvous with the command module.

The three astronauts returned to Earth and landed safely in the Pacific Ocean, east of Wake Island, on July 24th. They were quickly picked up by the recovery ship USS Hornet and once safely aboard, were greeted by President Richard Nixon.

I recall watching the entire mission and the reactions from Americans and people all over the world. The sense of national pride and unity washed over everyone and the memories still linger, etched forever in my mind. It was a great moment for this fourteen year old boy (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

Walter Cronkite died Friday evening at his Manhattan home in New York City. Cronkite was the face of the "CBS Evening News" from 1962 to 1981, and covered such big stories as the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy, Neil Armstrong's first lunar landing and subsequent first steps on the moon, the Watergate scandal and the Iranian hostage crisis. It was Cronkite who read the bulletins coming from Dallas when Kennedy was shot Nov. 22, 1963, interrupting a live CBS-TV broadcast of the soap opera "As the World Turns."

Cronkite, for whom the commonly used television term "anchorman" was created, ended the news each evening by stating, "And that's the way it is." Two polls pronounced Cronkite the "most trusted man in America", a 1972 "trust index" survey in which he finished No. 1, about 15 points higher than leading politicians, and a 1974 survey in which people chose him as the most trusted television newscaster. Walter Cronkite was 92 years old.

In a day and time where society's admired and idolized personae seem to be misdirected and decaying, I would be one of the first to point out to the younger generation that a figure such as Walter Cronkite should be added to their list. Recent celebrity deaths notwithstanding, Cronkite was a man who calmed the nation during the television coverage of the assassination and funeral of JFK.

He enthused the nation with his almost boyish exuberance over the first lunar landing, was a volunteer war correspondent during World War II and Vietnam. Cronkite left the nation with a sense of security each evening with his calm, professional coverage of the nightly news. CNN and other similar news organizations and media could learn a lot following the fresh and unbiased reporting by Walter Cronkite. He will be missed.

This Date In History: 1871; The province of British Columbia joins the Dominion of Canada. 1881; Sioux leader Sitting Bull surrenders to the US Army under a promise of amnesty. 1944; A bomb meant to assassinate German dictator Adolf Hitler explodes at his headquarters, killing four. Hitler survives, and the senior military staff who conspired against him are executed.

1954; An agreement between France and the Vietminh forces led by Ho Chi Minh ends the First Indochina War. The agreement calls for a temporary partition of the country into North and South Vietnam. 1969; US Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin land on the Moon, where Armstrong becomes the first person to step on the Moon's surface.

Picture Of The Day: Today's pictures, ironically, are intertwined more than you know. The first Moon landing of the Apollo 11 astronauts was heavily covered by the news media and especially CBS News' Walter Cronkite. It was a day where the nation collectively held their breath, following the mission moment by moment.

Guiding and informing us from minute to minute was "Uncle Walter" Cronkite, who, himself, was as overwhelmed by the accomplishment when Neil Armstrong took the first steps on the Moon. It was a special time, with special people and I'm glad that I was alive to witness it. It seems fitting that Walter Cronkite died on the weekend of the 40th anniversary of the mission. "Houston, Tranquility base here. The Eagle has landed!" Rest In Peace, Walter.....

Birthdays: Petrarch, poet 1304, Sir Richard Owen, English anatomist and taxonomist 1804, Edmund Hillary, mountain climber and Antarctic explorer, who, with the Nepalese Sherpa Tenzing Norkay, was the first to reach the summit of Mount Everest (29,035 ft), the world’s highest peak 1919, Frantz Fanon, psychiatrist and political theorist 1925, Nam June Paik, video artist 1932, Cormac McCarthy, Pulitzer Prize winning novelist 1933.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) In this day and time, it's hard to believe that groups of young people actually sat at their television sets to watch the CBS news coverage of the first landing on the Moon, but we did! Times have certainly changed. 2) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. 3) I love the whooshing sound of deadlines as they go flying by. 4) As kids, we had "seasons" for everything. Marble season, yoyo season, top season and others. I don't know how they came and went, but they just did. 5) Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A female officer arrested a man for drunk driving. The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you." The drunk replies, "Tits"

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. The cop says, "Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy." The lady replies, "Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home."

The cop continues, "That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!"

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. Her husband asked, "Well, dear, what exactly did he say?" His wife said, "The reflector is broken." Her husband answered, " I can fix that in two minutes. What else?" His wife said, "I'm not sure, Jacob, something about the emergency brake."

That's it for today my little tater tots. Remember that as you grow older, that warm feeling that life brings you might mean that you just peed on yourself. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

Billy Mays Here ! --- Again?

As I was preparing breakfast this morning, I heard a shrieking, ear-piercing, noise coming from the living room. I went to the living room to see if my cat, Shithead (Possum S. Hemmingway) had stuck his tail into an electrical outlet, but he was lying peacefully on the sofa.

The noise was coming from the television set. Lo and behold, it was Billy Mays, driving a car and screaming about his newest product, the Jupiter Jack. Ostensibly, it's a blue tooth type of gadget that you can supposedly plug into your cell phone while driving and the conversation is broadcast on your car speakers. In Billy Mays' case, it wasn't necessary to actually use the product as his voice level intensity was comparable to a screaming baby sitting next to you on a non-stop flight to Australia.

I seriously considered sticking a sharp pencil in my ears as I frantically searched for the remote control to stop the shrieking noise. Fortunately I found the remote and quickly silenced the deafening noise.

Since there have only been two resurrections (Jesus and Elvis), I figured that this commercial was produced prior to Mays' untimely death. Upon going to the Internet, I learned that there are at least two unreleased commercials are scheduled to be aired later this year.

The new commercials are about some new form of duct tape and will be aired in August. The reason that the commercials have not been aired to date is the U.S. military is using them to torture the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Nancy Pelosi has yet to investigate the news of the Mays torture commercials. At present, she is still preparing her defense and apology letter to the military and the CIA for her lies about her supposed lack of knowledge of water boarding at Guantanamo.

Wednesday's jaunt to AREA 51 was excellent as my sweet Nicole joined me for the evening. We started out at Lakes Cafe and Sports bar where we had a few drinks and listened to the karaoke show.

From Lakes Cafe, we headed over to The Billiards Club. My friend, James the bartender, wasn't there and then I remembered he told me he was going to retire. We were joined later by a few friends and Nicole's friend, Michele. It was a great evening and we got home somewhere between 1 and 2 am (depending on whose version you believe).

Paul McCartney was on the David Letterman show the other evening and performed several songs live outside the Ed Sullivan Theater. It brought back pleasant memories for me of the so called "British Invasion" in the early '60s and especially the Beatles performances on the Ed Sullivan Show. This in turn prompted me to dig up the Beatles live performances on the Ed Sullivan Show.

In a day and age that many musicians lip-synch their live performances and rarely do anything without the aid of electronics, it was nice to see the Beatles with live microphones and playing their instruments. You can see the Beatles performances on my other blog site,
Jimmy's Journal - The Original by clicking the link below.
http://jimmysjournal-theoriginal.blogspot.com/

Authors Note: For AOL users who are getting pop-ups that Internet Explorer can't open this journal, close out AOL and access Jimmy's Journal using Internet Explorer. The problem isn't Internet Explorer, it's AOL. So, what's new?

You can also go to settings/control panel/Internet options/browsing history/delete/delete all except for passwords and InPrivate Filtering data.

This Date In History: 1453; The Hundred Years' War between England and France ends with the English defeat at the Battle of Castillon in France. 1793 French patriot Charlotte Corday is executed by guillotine for the assassination of politician Jean Paul Marat.

1945; Harry Truman, Winston Churchill, and Joseph Stalin meet at the beginning of the Potsdam Conference, which will determine the details of the Allied occupation of Germany. 1955; Disneyland, created by Walt Disney, opens in Anaheim, California. 1974; A bomb exploding in the Tower of London kills 1 person and injures 41.

1975; American and Soviet spacecraft link in space for the first time when the American Apollo spacecraft docks onto the Soviet Soyuz 19. 1979; As Sandinista rebels prepare to take over Nicaragua, dictator Anastasio Somoza flees the country, ending his family's 43-year reign in the country.

Picture Of The Day: Although the premature death of pitchman Billy Mays was unfortunate, it seems to me there are some things that should be taken to the grave. In Billy Mays' case, it was all of those unbearable commercials that he made.

Besides the fact that the majority of the merchandise he was schlepping was unadulterated garbage, the screaming intensity of the commercials would drive a saint crazy. I have this deep inner feeling that if he went to heaven, he would be muted or toned down by the powers that be. On the other hand, if he shipped down south, I'm not sure of who would be in hell......him or the devil.

Birthdays: My father, James Sr.'s birthday is tomorrow. I miss him! 1911, My pal, Jude - Happy B-Day Jude! 19XX, John Jacob Astor, merchant 1763; Ephraim Shay, American inventor 1839; Lyonel Feininger, painter 1871; Berenice Abbott, photographer 1898; James Cagney, American actor and Academy Award winner 1899; Juan Antonio Samaranch, President of the International Olympic Committee 1920.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I really want to go to the Seminole Hard Rock Casino, but it usually costs me money when I go. I feel lucky! 2) Is it me or is it that just about everybody at the grocery store are yacking on their cell phones? 3) I can't wait until school begins again. It's opening will surely prevent a homicide in my neighborhood. 4) My friend told his wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked him in the cellar. 5) My greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say I cannot do.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pals, Garnett and Tabitha for their contributions to today's stories.

A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home,he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair, and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and the cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I gave you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Pittsburgh Steeler tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays for the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cabby and said, "What would you do?" The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a cold."

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, the minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather .... and unto the Sonnn ........ and into the hole he gooooes."

A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, "Barbender, I would like a Martuni." The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. Shortly thereafter, she said "Barbender, I would like another Martuni." Again the bartender brought her a Martini.

By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She called, "Barbender, your Martunis are giving me heartburn." Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, "Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martuni, but a Martini, and by the way, you do not have heartburn, your tits are hanging in the ashtray."

That's it for today my little gummy bears. Remember that the man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

It's Friday and I'm heading to AREA 51 for some Happy Hour therapy. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

It's Hump Day And Not A Minute Too Soon !

Multiple law enforcement sources tell TMZ the LAPD is already treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, and they are focusing on Dr. Conrad Murray. Law enforcement sources say the evidence points to the anesthesia Propofol as the primary cause of Jackson's death.

TMZ first reported that vials of Propofol were found in Jackson's home after he died. Law enforcement sources say there is already "plenty of powerful evidence" linking Dr. Murray as the person who administered the drug to Jackson. The evidence includes various items found in Jackson's house, including the Propofol, an IV stand and oxygen tank.

The death of Michael Jackson confirmed three things that I always believed. His father, Joe Jackson, is an uneducated, profiteering, low life. Michael's sister, Latoya, is a limelight seeking, psychotic and Debby Rowe is a money grubbing cow who should have been given a lobotomy and sterilized years ago.

My pal, Linda in Washington, held a contest for readers to guess what was the item she had pictured. As it turned out, it was a pear chip and my pal Robin was the closest guess with "pear." Now I ask you, what in the hell is a pear chip? I've heard of potato chips, chocolate chips, fish n chips, even cow chips, but pear chips? My guess was an alien nipple. Everyone poo-pooed the idea but here's my proof and I rest my case.

This Date In History: 1149; The Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem is dedicated at the site where Jesus is said to have been entombed after his crucifixion. 1916; William Boeing and Conrad Westervelt found the Pacific Aero Products Company in Seattle. The following year they rename the company the Boeing Airplane Company.

1918; Near the Marne River in northeastern France, the second Battle of the Marne in World War I begins. The Allied victory in the three-week battle halts the German drive toward Paris. 1971; President Richard M. Nixon announces his plan to visit China as a step toward reopening relations with the country.

Picture Of The Day: Waves....I've seen many of them but not as breathtaking as these excellent photographs that Brother Kirt sent me. Here in Miami, most of the rogue waves always seem to wash up either boatloads of refugees or bodies, most of whom aren't very photogenic.

Nevertheless, we do get the occasional beautiful waves but none like these. Most of the waves I've seen at the beach only deposit sand in your swim trunks.

Birthdays: Rembrandt van Rijn, Dutch painter, draughtsman, and etcher who is considered the greatest Dutch artist, not only as a painter of religious scenes and portraits but also as a draughtsman and innovative etcher of formidable ability 1606, St Frances Xavier Cabrini, first US saint 1850, Iris Murdoch, novelist and philosopher 1919, Leon Lederman, physicist 1922, Jacques Derrida, philosopher 1930, Sir Harrison Birtwistle, composer 1934.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. 2) After all the jokes i did about people mispronouncing words, I discovered that I say "warter' in lieu of water. What a dumb ass! 3) I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. 4) I think animal testing is a terrible idea. Besides, they'd just get all nervous and give the wrong answers. 5) Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to Brother Kirt for his contributions yo today's stories.

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy , went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said, "Father, During World War II , a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."

The old man said, "There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays" The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

The old man said, "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question." The priest asked, "And what is that?" The old man said, "Should I tell her the war is over?''

An Army drill sergeant was known to be brusque with his men. His lieutenant, warning him to try to be more sympathetic, said, "I don't want to interfere with your discipline but when there is bad news to relate, please be more diplomatic.

Now, I have received bad news for one of your men, George Martin. It seems his father has been in a bad traffic accident. Please break the news carefully." The drill sergeant replied, "Yes, sir!"

At roll call, the sergeant says, "Fall in everyone. Martin, if you call home today and don't get an answer, it's your dad." After Martin finds out the truth, he goes crying away to his bunk.

The next day, the lieutenant reprimands the drill sergeant once more. He says, "Look, Sarge, this can't continue. If you can't think of a kinder way to deal with this kind of news, we'll eliminate this practice from roll call. Now I'm giving you one last chance. Gomez's mother died last night You know what to do." The drill sergeant replied, "No problem, lieutenant!"

At roll call that morning, the drill sergeant commanded, "All right men, fall in! All those with living mothers step forward!" And in a quieter tone, the drill sergeant said, "Not so fast, Gomez."

That's it for today my little pea pickers. It's Hump Day and AREA 51 beckons. Remember that the average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

The Running Of The Bulls - No, Not Congress, It's Pamplona, Spain

Yes, it's that time of year again my friends. It's time to go to Pamplona, Spain for the annual Running of the Bulls and, my favorite, the Culling of the Stupid.

Yes, boys and girls, seemingly normal, everyday citizens of the world, line the crowded streets of Pamplona wearing red and white. Red, the favorite target of the bulls, also blends well with blood. Unfortunately, white, does not hold up well against blood stains.

When the bulls are released, the red and white clad throng of idiots and morons attempt to outrun the charging bulls through the crowded narrow streets. People cheer as the slow and dimwitted are trampled and gored. This unique thinning of the herds of idiots helps control the overcrowding problems throughout the world, not to mention entertaining the bulls.

Another place where the have the annual culling of the stupid is the Cooper's Hill Cheese Rolling Contest in Gloucester, England. The goal of the contest is to see who can get to the cheese first, risking their limbs doing so. You'd think that, considering the risks involved (18 racers suffered injuries, including broken bones and head trauma, in a melee in 1997), the first-place prize would be great, but all the winner gets is, oddly enough, the very cheese he or she was chasing.

Then there's the Calgary Stampede in Alberta, Canada, where amateur bull riding takes center stage as cowboys and cowgirls try to hold on for dear life to a bucking, hopping-mad bull. Participants are frequently tossed like rag dolls onto the turf and then face the prospect of being trampled by the hulking beasts. With only a rope as leverage, these crazy "athletes" have little chance and usually hold on for five seconds, at the most (they need to hold on for about eight seconds to be declared a winner).

Of course, here in America, you can have the same or worse problems as the runners in Pamplona if you happen to make an accidental wrong turn into neighborhoods in Detroit, Chicago, Philadelphia or Los Angeles. The only difference is that in Pamplona, you can't shoot the bulls.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Great! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear!

Latoya Jackson, speaking out for the first time, says she thinks "a shadowy entourage" led to the death of her brother, Michael, accusing them of "murdering" him. She sais that Michael was an isolated figure, making him easy prey for greedy associates. She accused these people, whether it be doctors, handlers or assistants, of feeding Jackson drugs to control his moods in order to get what they want.

The death of Michael Jackson has spawned a lot of free press and notoriety. Look for Papa Joe Jackson to keep on trying to get on the money train as well. Of course, let's not forget the omnipresent and portable podium carrier, Al Sharpton. And the spectacle goes on and on and on.......

Fittingly, you can stop by Long John Silver's on Tuesday, July 14 to score a free Baja Fish Taco on, what else, Baja Fish Taco Day. Stop by before 2:30 p.m. to get your free taco!

This Date In History: 1863; Four days of rioting against the Civil War military draft begin in New York City. More than 1,000 people are killed, including many African Americans, who are attacked by rioters as the cause of the war. 1865; Edward Whymper, an English artist and pioneering mountaineer, becomes the first person to climb the Matterhorn, in the Alps. On the descent, four of his companions fall to their deaths.

1973; White House aide Alexander Butterfield reveals to members of the Senate Watergate committee the presence of a secret taping system installed in the White House by President Richard Nixon. 1985; Bob Geldof organizes the Live Aid concerts held in London and Philadelphia to fight famine in Africa. Performers include Sting, U2, Dire Straits, Queen, David Bowie, Elton John, Madonna and the Beach Boys.

Picture Of The Day: Bulls.....the horned creatures that are having a field day in Pamplona. These beautiful shots are indicative of the atmosphere in the quaint streets and alleys of the festival. The young lady in this picture was really an afterthought, butt I admired her asspirations to join in the many colored festivities.

Birthdays: Sir George Gilbert Scott, British architect 1811, Sidney Webb, economist and reformer 1859, Alfred Hitchcock, film producer and director 1899, Wole Soyinka, playwright, poet, and novelist 1934, Ernö Rubik, inventor of the Rubik's Cube puzzle 1944, Harrison Ford, American film actor 1942.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Maybe it's just me, but I think that the vials of childproof medicines that are sold in today's marketplace should come with a kid to open them for you. 2) I'm really getting fed up with the politically correct, hyphenated descriptions used today. Now when you refer to someone who's slept around you have to refer to them as previously used companions. 3) Shamwow Vince should be saying, "Boycott shampoo! Demand the real poo!" 4) All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. 5) I really think the Mars Rover is scouting for the next Wal-Mart Superstore site.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, were sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I don't know, Abe, but let's make a deal. If I die first, I will come back and tell you, and if you die first, you come back and tell me if there is baseball in heaven."

They shake on it and, sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" The spirit of Abe says, "Yes it is."

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?" Abe says, "Well, I've got good news and I got bad news." Sol says, "Gimme the good news first." Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is struck and killed by an ambulance.

She arrives in front of God and complains: "I thought you said I had another 30 years!?" God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the present time, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed .Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, and that's when all the trouble started.....

That's it for today my little brussels sprouts. Remember that not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

What You Lookin' At Willis?

We finally had a week where new celebrity deaths did not dominate the media. I suppose they'll have to return to reporting minor issues like the continuing failing economy, the crisises in Iran, Afghanistan, Korea and China, not to mention the current G8 conference in Italy.

Speaking of the G8 conference, today's lead photo shows our fearless leader Barack Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy in a lecherous gaze at the young lass on the left. Maybe this sweet young thing is part of Obama's rumored second stimulus package.

In Obama's defense, a replay of the video shows that he had just given a arm to the young girl in the black dress and sun glasses behind him. As to Sarkozy, well....he's French!

Continuing with odd pictures, the continuing photos of CNN Democratic analyst James Carvill abound, this time showing the infamous and inept Carville and a look alike cat. Carville, who may have been the banjo playing kid in the Bert Reynolds movie, "Deliverance." is a perfect example of why you shouldn't marry your cousin.

Illinois Senator Roland Burris, appointed by Ex-Governor Rod Blagojevich, has next to no campaign cash, no political operation and no support from any major Democrat in Illinois or national politics. Burris will not run to keep the seat in 2010 and made this announcement at a press conference today. Burris raised little more than $800 in the first quarter of the year, and his second quarter only yielded about $20,000. I wonder how much money he had to pay Blagojevich?

7-11 is giving away free Slurpees tomorrow (true). Stop by any 7-Eleven on Saturday (7/11) between 7 a.m. and 11 p.m. for a FREE Slurpee (7.11 oz) on 7-Eleven Day to celebrate the chain store's 82nd birthday. I normally would have a quip for this but it happens to be true and I thought I'd post it for those of you who have children. Tell Ahmed that Jimmy says "Hey."

This Date In History: 1913; The National Weather Service records a temperature of 134° F in California's Death Valley, the highest temperature ever measured in the United States. 1925; The so-called Monkey Trial of teacher John Scopes for teaching evolution begins in Dayton, Tennessee. The trial matches nationally famous lawyers Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan. 1943; British, United States and Canadian armed forces invade Sicily by air and ship, resulting in Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolini's fall from power two weeks later.

1953; Four months after the death of Joseph Stalin, Soviet leaders arrest Lavrenty Beria, his longtime head of security. Beria is executed later that year for treason. 1976; A chemicals factory leaks weedkiller near Seveso, Northern Italy, killing 40,000 animals and causing skin lesions on more than 400 people.

1985; Greenpeace flagship the Rainbow Warrior is struck by two bombs in Auckland Harbour, New Zealand, killing one crew member and singing the 40m-long ship.

Picture Of The Day: It's been a fun day of finding some great photoshop pictures from around the Internet. I always get a kick of some of the really excellent work these artists come up with. The media photographers are also there to catch every misstep anyone makes and always have something funny to print.

Speaking of funny pictures, who do you think the pup pictured below looks like?

Birthdays: John Calvin, Protestant theologian 1509, Sir William Blackstone, legal scholar 1723, James McNeill Whistler, painter 1834, Mary McLeod Bethune, educator 1875, Kurt Alder, German chemist and Nobel laureate 1902, Alice Munro, writer 1931.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I think I'm a lesbian. 2) In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. 3) I miss not seeing my new friend from The Billiards Club. 4) I have not yet found the time to respond to the continuing emails from my pals in Nigeria, notifying me of the various monies I have inherited or won. I have to wait for my check from Publisher's Clearing House who assured me that I may have won $10,000,00. I hope the Nigerians understand. 5) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A mother and her son were flying "Southwest Airlines" from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.

So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" He said that his mother had. So the stewardess said, "Tell your mother that Southwest always pulls out on time."

A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next show. He stopped at a farmhouse and approached the farmer who lived there. "Hello there sir, I was just passing by and I was wondering if I might speak to your dog." The farmer replied, "Well, you know, dogs don't talk." The ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a dog might tell you. Can I speak with him?" The farmer, eyeing the ventriloquist suspiciously, called his dog.

The ventriloquist, "Hi Mr. Dog. How does the farmer treat you?" To which the dog replied, "Oh, he's great! He throws a stick for me, scratches my belly, and I just love him!!" Needless to say, the farmer was dumbfounded. Wanting to see if he could fool the farmer again, the ventriloquist asked if he could speak with the farmer's horse. "Well, you know, horses don't talk." Again the ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a horse might tell you." So the farmer brought out his horse.

The ventriloquist said, "Say, Mr. Horse, how does the farmer treat you?" The horse then replied, "Oh, I think he's great. He feeds me oats, he puts a blanket over me at night, and I just love him!"

Again the farmer was amazed. Wanting to try his luck a third time, the ventriloquist said, "Mr. Farmer, would you like to hear what the sheep has to say about you?" The farmer said, "Sheep lie, ya' know."

That's it for today my little banana peels. AREA 51 beckons and I will heed the call and stop by for Happy Hour and announced that I, too, will not be running for the Illinois senate seat. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !