So what did Santa bring you? It seems that Christmas and the holidays bring out the little boy or girl in all of us. I don't care what people say, that little boy or girl in all of us thinks it's better to receive than give. Unfortunately, sometimes the giver has not thought the process of giving out thoroughly (or did not get the obvious hints one usually emits when nearing the holidays).
Witness the poor soul whose Aunt Matilda sends him a fruitcake. Anyone in their right mind knows that the only real use for a fruitcake is a doorstop. I always feel sorry for the men that receive ties for Christmas. As a business man, I always enjoyed receiving ties and even if they weren't very chic, I could always exchange them for a more suitable one. Other men, however, have very little use for ties since they work as auto mechanics or other trades.
This Date In History: 1170; Thomas à Becket is murdered in Canterbury Cathedral by four knights loyal to Henry I. 1845; Texas is admitted into the United States of America as the 28th state of the union.
1890; Hundreds of unarmed Sioux men, women, and children are massacred by the 7th Cavalry at Wounded Knee, in South Dakota, in the last major clash between Native Americans and American soldiers. 1937; The Irish Free State, the Irish dominion of the Commonwealth of Nations established by the Anglo-Irish Treaty of 1921, passes into history and becomes the new independent state of Éire.
Picture Of The Day: The holiday gifts that people sometimes receive do not always meet their expectations. The current economy have effected the value of some of these gifts as well and politics always seem to always have a residual effect. Be that as it may, I found a few holiday gifts that I hope will amuse you.
Birthdays: Marquise de Pompadour, mistress of Louis XV 1721, Charles Macintosh, inventor and chemist 1766, Charles Goodyear, American inventor 1800, Andrew Johnson, 17th president of the United States 1808, William Gladstone, British statesman, four times Prime Minister of Great Britain 1809, Pablo Casals, Spanish cellist 1876, Vera Brittain, novelist and autobiographer 1893. Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him. She said, "No!", and the man drank beer and caroused with women and stayed out late and used the guest towels and farted at will and didn't put the toilet seat down and lived happily ever after. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" Mabel pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid." A man took his wife to see a doctor because she wasn't feeling well. After testing her, the doctor went to the waiting room to speak with the husband. "Well sir, she has either two things. Alzheimer's or HIV." Very confused the man replied "How did you get that conclusion? They are totally different." The doctor replied, "Although they're very different, they look identical in the early stages." After a short pause the man asked, "So, what do you suggest I do doctor?" The doctor answered, "Take her for a ride deep into the valley then drop her off." Even more confused the man asked, "Then what?" The doctor replied, "If she finds her way back, don't have sex with her." The shepherd looked puzzled but agreed. Out of the blue, she blurts out “57!” He was stunned but kept his word and allowed her to pick out a sheep. She picked out the cutest one. He looked at her and said “If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back?" That's it for today my little party planners. More on New Year's Eve. Stay Tuned !
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Garnett, my pal Jerry and brother Kirt for some of today's stories.
The Worlds Shortest Fairy Tale:
12 comments:
I like the way you said you "donated" money in the poker game lol!
My boyfriend does a pretty good job shopping for me. I've trained him well. Teehee.
*M*
I bought Debbie big thick pillows she wanted, tonight we will see if it muffles her screams!
You made donations and your pal, Garnett may have bought the perfect gift! LOL
Hugs, Rose
Funny jokes tonight! Have a fun New Year's Eve! Linda
That picture of the coffin is terrible!! lol Now I'm wondering why my husband bought that perfume he got me. I don't own that perfume...did his ex-wife like it, or an ex-girlfriend??? THanks a lot Jimmy! LOL Julie
Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year. You haven't changed in the two or so months I haven't been reading. Love the jokes, as usual.
Jude
Hey where can I buy one of those magic stock picking darts?
..and that is why Glen and I don't exchange gifts! He couldn't possibly get me what I want, and vis-a-vis! Oy vey...
Rick was right on the money this year for my gift. Of course I hinted enough that if I got anything else I would have been shocked. Loved the entry.
I love stopping by, the music is always good, the jokes are the best and your stories are entertaining. It's a perfect AREA 51 spot. Love ya Jim. Anne
I have a family member who likes to purchase the worst gifts for people! It's always fun seeing who got the most ridiculous gift! LOL
Happy New Year my friend!
About gifts for women, 99% of woman would not want anything with an electric cord. Do not buy it unless the specifically ask for one. Men, however are happy with things with electric cords.
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