Shades Of Simon & Garfunkel: See Obama And Julio Down By The Schoolyard

As a journalist, there are times that one has writer's block or for some reason cannot come up with a subject that motivates words. Fortunately, when occasions like this occur, there's always something or someone who charges out of the proverbial woodwork and provides fodder for the subject of the day.

Yesterday, Obama was stumping for his stimulus package in Fort Meyers. Florida and held a town hall meeting. Members of the audience were given the opportunity to ask Obama different questions. Although Obama has been taking lessons from handlers at the Westminster Dog Show on how to handle and muzzle Vice President Joe Biden, he had not yet taken classes on how to handle stray democrats.

Meet Julio Osequeda, a living example of the Peter Principle (The Peter Principle is the principle that "In a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence."). Osequeda, ostensibly a college student, is studying communications and wants to be either a broadcaster or a DJ, tantamount to having the desire to be either the CEO or the mail clerk of a large corporation.

I have to admit that I felt sorry for Obama, who must have been horrified by Mr. Osequeda's blithering and he must have had visions of millions of Joe Biden clones running amok in future town meetings. I thought he handled the situation quite well as my first reaction would have been to react like Archie Bunker who would have lovingly said to Edith, "Stifle!"

Deep in my heart, I knew that I was not the only person flabbergasted by the intellect of Julio Osequeda and immediately went to You Tube confident that someone had posted a video of this village idiot in action. While searching successfully for the video, a commercial for Cash4Gold came on the television and I thought, since I'm already on You Tube......

In case you haven't seen the commercial previously, let me begin by telling you that the market is full of predatory, unscrupulous gold dealers who are making bad commercials as quickly as they can, hoping to make money on the less fortunate. This commercial, in particular, is so cheap and badly made that it appears (and I'd bet on it) that the owner is using his repulsive wife and daughter in the commercial.

The commercial states that the company has a fast and safe (?) way to change "your broken or unwanted (?) gold jewelry (pronounced by 'jew-ler-ree' by Mrs. Cash4Gold) for cash (as opposed to subway tokens?)." SAFE? They instruct you to put your gold in an envelope and mail it to them! Wow! No chance that it could be lost in the mail or stolen, right? As I suspected, this video was also on You Tube and and I offer it to you for your thoughts and opinions.

An Open Message To Nadya Suleman, the single, unemployed, food stamp recipient, mother of newly born octuplets and six other children: If you can't feed them, don't breed them. We're in a recession and I can't afford to support you.

This Date In History: 1858; St Bernadette has her first vision of the Virgin Mary in Lourdes 1929; The Lateran Treaty creates the state of the Vatican City and guaranteed to the Holy See full and independent sovereignty. 1956; Cold War spies Guy Burgess and Donald Maclean reappear in Moscow after having disappeared for five years. 1963; Poet Sylvia Plath commits suicide in London. 1975; Margaret Thatcher becomes leader of the Conservative Party.

Picture Of The Day: You may have surmised that I really like landscapes and have always been fascinated by the breathtaking beauty of America. I think that the northwest has some of the most beautiful scenery, but America as a whole really has a lot to offer from coast to coast. I made myself a promise years ago that I would not visit any other countries until I have completely seen the entire United States. Aside from Canada, Mexico (while stationed in the U.S. Army at Fort Sam Houston, Texas) and the Bahamas (it's just too easy from Miami, especially when decided on at 3:00 A.M. while in the company of a lovely lady), I have kept that promise.

Birthdays: Thomas Alva Edison, American inventor, whose development of a practical electric light bulb, electric generating system, sound-recording device, and film projector had profound effects on the shaping of modern society 1847, William Henry Fox Talbot, pioneer of photography 1800, Vivian Fuchs, geologist and Antarctic explorer 1908, Joseph Mankiewicz, Hollywood director 1909, Faruk I, Egyptian king 1920, Mary Quant, fashion designer 1934.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally breaks wind quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly soiled his bed and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied, "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

That's it for today my little sweet peas. More on Friday.

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