Feeling Dali

Salvador Dalí (1904-1989), was a prominent Spanish surrealist painter born in Spain. After 84 years of traveling, creating and collaborating, he returned to his hometown, passing away in 1989 of heart failure.

Dalí was controversial, eccentric, definitely eclectic and considered himself to be the greatest artist of his time. He is responsible for some of the most influential artworks of the past century, including Persistence of Memory (1931).

His painting of poet, Paul Éluard (shown below), which sold for $22.4 million in 2011, made it the world's most expensive surrealist painting sold at auction, according to Bloomberg.

In Dalí's early years as an artist, he visited Paris frequently, where he met Pablo Picasso, René Magritte and Joan Miró. In his work, Dalí painted sublime dreamscapes, painting in styles influenced by his favorite painters, Johannes Vermeer and Diego Velázquez, who also inspired his trademark mustache.

Dalí's surrealist sensibilities were not bound to his canvas. He created films, clothing, and stage sets that were inspired by the unconscious mind and often spoke in third person.

One of my favorite Dali quotes is, "Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings." Salvador Dali would have been 112 years-old today.

The News As I See It: It's being reported that the Kardashians were frustrated when they were in Cuba because most Cubans have not seen their show, so they don't know why they're famous. As opposed to most Americans who have seen their show and still don't know why they're famous.

Facebook has apparently censored popular stories about conservative topics from appearing on the trending news section. If Facebook is going to censor things, why not get rid of the stuff people really don't want to see, like Obama and Hillary.

Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps and his fiancée just welcomed their first child. Immediately after the baby was born, he looked up and said, “How was my time?”

This Date In History: 1858; Minnesota became the 32nd state in the United States. 1894; The Pullman Strike began. 1949; Siam changed its name to Thailand. 1960; Israeli agents captured Nazi Adolf Eichmann in Argentina.

1973; Charges against Daniel Ellsberg for his role in the Pentagon Papers case were dismissed. 1981; Reggae performer Bob Marley died of cancer in Miami at the age of 36.

1997; IBM's supercomputer, Deep Blue defeated Garry Kasparov, the reigning world champion, in a six game chess match (2 for blue, 1 for Kasparov, and 3 ties).

1998; India set off atomic blasts. 2003; 91% of Lithuanian voters opted to join the European Union—the first former Soviet nation to do so.

Picture Of The Day: A variation on a theme, this caricature (not by Dali) has always captured my fancy.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall, you might be dating my ex-wife. 2) One thing I learned while I was out drinking last night was here is no such thing as a goalie in darts. 3) Damn! I didn't make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row. 4) A month ago I gave my cell number to a beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". She hasn't called. I think she's homeless. 5) Because of Twitter, people use words like Twitterverse, Tweeple, and Twitcide, which makes me want to twoot someone in the face.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Taurus - May 11th: Dogs can be a man's best friend or a woman's best friend. They could also be a child's best friend or a cat's best friend. Dogs are relatively flexible. You may wonder how this information is pertinent to you. Well, for one thing, you now know you have a pal who likes to chase cars as well.

Birthdays: Irving Berlin, songwriter 1888, Dame Margaret Rutherford, actress 1892, Martha Graham, modern dancer, choreographer 1894, Salvador Dali, Spanish surrealist painter 1904, Camilo José Cela, novelist and poet 1916, Richard Feynman, physicist 1918, Natasha Richardson, actress 1963.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: During the banquet celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, The master of ceremony asked Tom to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. The MC said, "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single in the first place."

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination and found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him.

The doctor said, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you." The man, "I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.

Having a rough day? Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the world.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can see the face of the person you're holding underwater.
8. See, you're smiling already.

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He needs a new milk cow, and hears about one for sale over in Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out der.)

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the tit and pulls, the cow farts.

Ole is surprised He looks at the farmer selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another tit, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion, Ole buys the cow and takes her home.

He gets back to Minnesota, calls over his neighbor Jimmy Mooney and says, "Jimmy, come look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her tit, and see vat happens."

So Jimmy reaches under, pulls the tit and the cow farts. Jimmy looks at Ole and sez, "You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, din'tyah?"

Ole is surprised since he hadn't told Jimmy about his trip. Ole replies, "Yah, dats right. But how'd yah know?" Jimmy says, "My wife's from Nordakota."

That's it for today, my little sugar plums. Remember, poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !