Bonnie And Clyde

On this date in 1934, Bonnie (Parker) and Clyde (Barrow) were killed in a police shootout. The infamous duo were ambushed and killed on a rural road in Bienville Parish, Louisiana. The couple appeared in daylight in an automobile and were shot by a posse of four Texas officers and two Louisiana officers.

Bonnie and Clyde were American criminals who traveled the central United States with their gang during the Great Depression, robbing and killing people. At times, the gang included Clyde's older brother Buck Barrow and his wife Blanche, Raymond Hamilton, W. D. Jones, Joe Palmer, Ralph Fults, and Henry Methvin.

Their exploits captured the attention of the American public during the "Public Enemy Era", between 1931 and 1935. Though known today for his dozen-or-so bank robberies, Barrow preferred to rob small stores or rural gas stations. The gang is believed to have killed at least nine police officers and several civilians.

The couple were eventually ambushed and killed by law officers near the town of Sailes, in Bienville Parish, Louisiana. Their reputation was revived and cemented in American pop folklore by Arthur Penn's 1967 film Bonnie and Clyde, in which they were played by Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty.

Even during their lifetimes, their depiction in the press was at considerable odds with the hardscrabble reality of their life on the road, especially for Bonnie Parker. She was present at a hundred or more felonies during the two years she was Barrow's companion, but she was not a machine gun-wielding killer as depicted in the newspapers, newsreels and pulp detective magazines of that time.

Gang member W. D. Jones later testified he could not recall ever having seen her shoot at a law officer. Bonnie's reputation as a cigar-smoking gun moll grew out of a playful snapshot police found at an abandoned hideout. It was released to the press and published nationwide. Parker did chain smoke Camel cigarettes, but she never smoked cigars.

The News As I See It: Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are starting to really go at it. This week Hillary criticized Trump's behavior, saying that when you run for president, the rest of the world is watching. The rest of the world was like, "Yeah, we know Hillary. We've seen the Trump ads about Bill's sexual escapades we're loving it!"

At a rally with Chris Christie in New Jersey, Donald Trump said, "If you can make it in New Jersey, you can do just about anything you want in life." Then Trump looked at Christie and said, "Well, except be President."

A new poll found that 90 percent of Native Americans aren't bothered by the controversial name of the Washington Redskins. It turns out the name Native Americans dislike the most is still the Cowboys.

The Centers for Disease Control issued a new report that 80 percent of hot tubs inspected in 2013 had at least one violation. Which reminds me, "The Bachelorette" premieres tonight on ABC!

This Date In History: 1430; Joan of Arc was captured by the Burgundians and subsequently sold to the English. 1788; South Carolina became the 8th state in United States. 1830; The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad began the first passenger service in the United States.

1873; The North West Mounted Police force was formed in Canada. It would later be known as the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. 1911; The New York Public Library, at the time the largest marble structure ever built in the United States, was dedicated by President Taft in New York City after 16 years of construction.

1934; Bonnie (Parker) and Clyde (Barrow) were killed in a police shootout. 1945; Heinrich Himmler, head of Adolf Hitler’s Gestapo, committed suicide while in prison. 1949; The German Federal Republic came into existence. 1997; Moderate Mohammad Khatami was elected president of Iran.

Picture Of The Day: The shootout in Louisiana killed Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie's lifeless body can be seen slumped over the the front seat.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I went to the grocery store and bought four apples. The cashier said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "No, I'm a juggler." 2) I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient and I bet I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's. 3) My ex-secretary had no patience. She said, "If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream!" 4) The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. 5) Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - May 23rd: The future will find you in good spirits. In the midst of these good spirits you may meet someone that you are immediately fond of. Due to this, your good spirits will wax and wane over the coming weeks. Don't 'ya just hate it when your spirits wax and wane?

Birthdays: Carolus Linnaeus, botanist 1707, Margaret Fuller, American writer and lecturer 1810, Alfred Pritchard Sloan, Jr., businessman and philanthropist 1875, Douglas Fairbanks, actor 1883, John Bardeen,  physicist 1908, Anatoly Karpov, chess master 1951, Jewel, singer, songwriter 1974.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and placed his hand on her thigh. She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." The woman yelled, "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" The drunk muttered, "You sound like her too!"

My father walked six miles a day, barefoot through snow, uphill both ways, to get to school. At least that's what he told me the first time I complained about walking a half mile to school.

Years later, my friend, who had recently undergone a colonoscopy, was telling Dad about the pain and pressure that he felt while the camera was in "Neverland". Dad told him that, back in the day, his colonoscopy was done by a sketch artist.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The circus came to town and an ad for an animal trainer was placed in the local paper. Only two applicants showed up, a man and a woman. The owner said he could only afford one animal trainer, so he would choose the one with the best act.

At first glance it appeared that the female was much better prepared, since she came to the interview in a very long flowing cape, with a whip and a chair. She looked more like a model than a trainer. The man's only distinguishing feature was a soggy cigar stuffed between his cracked and leathery lips. The owner asked who would like to go first, and the man said, "Ladies before Gentleman."

So the lady asked for her special music to be played, and once the music started she entered the cage with a flurry of whip snapping. She motioned the attendant to release the tiger. The tiger leaped into the cage snarling. The young lady threw aside her whip, tossed back her cape and sat on the chair as naked as the day she was born.

The tiger then circled her, sniffing the air, then suddenly leaped toward her and put its face between her legs. She threw back her head moaning, holding the tiger by the ears with her thighs and rode on the tiger's face all around the cage.

Then the owner looked at the man and said, "That's quite an act. Think you can do better than that?" The man spit out his cigar and said, "You betcha! Just get rid of that damned tiger!"

A man was eating lunch with his 10-year-old granddaughter and he asked her, "How are you doing in school?" The little girl said, "I'm doing great. We're learning about the new holiday, "President Obama Day" that occurs on June 1st.

Her grandfather said, "President's Day is in February. What does President Obama Day mean?"

She replied, "I know. We've studied the February date, but this is a new holiday. President Obama Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have one more year of unemployment."

That's it for today, my little onion rings. Remember, honk if you love Jesus and text while driving if you want to meet him.

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More on Wednesday.

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