Meet Scooter

I have a new kitten. Not by choice, but by fate. A friend knocked on my door yesterday to tell me he heard a kitten mewing under the hood of my car. Sure enough, I raised the hood and there he was...tiny, scared and trembling.

Once I figured how to get him out, I took him upstairs, bathed him and dried him with the blower. He's too young to be afraid of the bath or the blower. He sat on my shoulder to get warm and calm down, but once he drank a little water and ate some food, he was running all over the place.....hence, Scooter.

When I was sitting there holding him, I noticed that he had similar markings and color as my Possum, who passed away 2 years ago right down to the white mini tuxedo chest and white boots.

I realized then that I was going to keep him. I found Possum as a kitten when someone put him in a dumpster and I can't turn my back on a helpless animal. I don't know if it was a sign or fate, but that's just who I am.

It's only been one day but between keeping an eye on Scooter and placating Samantha who wasn't pleased with the little upstart to begin with, I am tired. Showing him where the water and food was, helping him learn the litter box routine and the subtleties of a young kitten bring back old memories. I think everything will work out ok.....

The News As I See It: Chairman of the Republican National Committee Reince Priebus blasted Hillary Clinton on Twitter for using "bad judgment." Priebus said, "I haven't seen judgment this bad since my parents named me Reince Priebus."

This Date In History: 1861; Stephen Douglas, U.S. politician, died. 1937; The Duke of Windsor (formerly Edward VIII) married Wallis Simpson. 1965; Major Edward White became the first U.S. astronaut to walk in space, during the Gemini 4 mission.

1979; The world's worst oil spill occurred when an exploratory oil well, Ixtoc 1, blew out, spilling over 140 million gallons of oil into the Bay of Campeche off the coast of Mexico. 1989; Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini died.

Picture Of The Day: I'll have new pictures soon (hopefully). Anyone who has a cat knows that they refuse to pose.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My uncle is hard of hearing. He needs to read lips. I don’t mind him reading lips, but he uses one of those yellow highlighters. 2) Then I said "No officer, I’m not slurring my speech. I’m speaking in cursive." 3) If you look in the mirror and say "pumpkin spice latte" three times, a suburban college girl, majoring in the arts, will appear and tell you everything she loves about the fall. 4) (Girlfriend): "I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching porn." (Me): "No, it's just women's tennis."  5) They say that intelligence is the new cleavage. This may or not be true but I believe that intelligence is barely head and shoulders above cleavage.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 3rd: The odds are that you'll see something today that you physically and desperately desire. However, it is unlikely that you will achieve it. I would estimate that at least half of your efforts today will go, not only unrewarded, but also unnoticed. Don't be concerned, the same thing happens to me, too.

Birthdays: Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederacy 1808, Henry James, philosophical theologian 1811, Raoul Dufy, painter 1877, Josephine Baker, dancer and singer 1906, Tony Curtis, actor 1925, Curtis Mayfield, singer-songwriter 1942.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

A man's wife asked him to buy organic vegetables from the market. He went to the store, looked around and couldn't find any.

So he grabbed an old produce employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

The old produce guy looked at him and said, "No sir, you'll have to do that yourself."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag." The little old lady says, "Oh, really? Darn! I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."

The cop says, "Well, now, not so fast. How did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

The little old lady says, "Oh, no. You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'."

The cop laughs and says, "Well, that seems only fair. By the way, what's in the other bag?'' The little old lady says,"Well, you know, not everybody pays."

About 200 dead crows were found near Boston, Massachusetts and there was great concern about the possibility of "Avian Flu". They had a bird pathologist examine the remains of all the crows and he confirmed the problem was definitely not Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.

However, he did determine that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks and only 2% were killed by impact with cars. The city then hired a Ornithological Behaviorist to determine why there were such disproportionate percentages for "truck versus car" kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in very short order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out crow" in a nearby tree, to warn of any impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout crow could easily say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck"!

That's it for today, my little petunias. Remember, somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, "Why does nobody reply to my emails?" I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Have a great weekend more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !