A Tail Of Two Kitties

Between Samantha and Scooter, Sam is the independent one. Granted, Scooter is just a kitten and is learning fast, but he's happy-go-lucky and likes to sit with me. Sam was a street wise, six-month-old independent. But the two are fast becoming pals.

Sam thinks she's smart and ofttimes bangs her food dish to indicate that she's hungry, yet she is unable to explain baseball's infield fly rule. She is capable of opening every cabinet door in the house, but she refuses to use the can opener to open the cat food can and feed herself.

My personal belief is that she only does the things that she wants to do and seems amused when I finally relent to the food dish banging and feed her. She will not give me the satisfaction of meowing for her food as that is evidently beneath her.

Little Scooter is growing like a weed and is learning all the navigation tricks to ascend to just about anywhere he likes. Within the next month, he'll have all the high places conquered.

Meanwhile, Scooter likes to be wherever I am. The top picture is where he sleeps when I am on the computer. He crawls up behind my neck and wriggles and squirms until he's comfortable and, of course, i'm uncomfortable.

The News As I See It: Bernie Sanders officially endorsed Hillary Clinton at a rally in New Hampshire. Hillary said she’s glad Bernie is behind her 100 percent, then Bernie said, "Let’s just start off with 10 percent."

Sanders' endorsement of Hillary Clinton has angered many of his supporters. Many of them are threatening to not vote for her when they don’t vote in November.

The game Pokémon Go is actually making people visit remote, potentially dangerous areas. On the bright side, they finally found a way to get people to attend the Rio Olympics.

Bill Cosby has hired a woman to be his lead attorney. She says she doesn’t know how she got the job, she just woke up and there it was.

This Date In History: 1793; French revolutionary Jean Paul Marat was stabbed to death in his bath by royalist sympathizer Charlotte Corday. 1863; The draft riots, protesting unfair conscription in the Civil War, began in New York City.

1865; P. T. Barnum's American Museum, which had featured Tom Thumb and the original Siamese twins Chang and Eng, was destroyed by fire. 1930; The first World Cup soccer competition began in Montevideo, Uruguay.

1943; The Battle of Kursk, the largest tank battle in history—involving some 6,000 tanks, 2,000,000 troops, and 4,000 aircraft—ended in German defeat. 1977; A 25-hour blackout hit New York City, engendering widespread rioting and looting. 2003 Iraq's interim governing council was inaugurated.

Picture Of The Day: Love these kittens

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Don't make exceptions for ignorant people. An asshole with a flower in it is not a vase. 2) I don't need to be rich, it would just be nice to live in a neighborhood where I could be confident that that noise was definitely fireworks. 3) The fireworks have been over for hours but Rex is still barking, which is weird because he's 12 years old and not a dog. Weird little kid. 4) I spent a nice relaxing hour on Facebook, writing "you Two look fantastic!!" on all the selfies with three girls or more in it. 5) I had no Internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts. I guess that's why the pioneers usually died so young.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Cancer - July 13th: Life can be as romantic as you wish to make it. Like the old saying goes, "A man with three fish has enough in his heart to help him build a picnic table." I have no idea what that means, but it's in the stars.

Birthdays: Nathan Bedford Forrest, general 1821, Isaac Babel, writer 1894, Wole Soyinka, playwright, poet, novelist, essayist, and political activist 1934, Patrick Stewart, director 1940, Harrison Ford, actor 1942, Cameron Crowe, director, screenwriter 1957.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Morris complained to his friend Irving that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring. Irving said, "Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do."

Morris replied, "Sounds great, but how do you make it last for an hour?" Irving said, "Just keep her in the waiting room for 55 minutes!"

A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" His concerned friend asks, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!"

His friend said, chuckling, "You mean hysterical," The man answered, "No, I mean historical. Every argument we have, she'll say, "I still remember that time when you did this ...."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held and, at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they carry the casket towards the door, her husband cries out, "Watch out for that damned wall!"

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of your stick, we'd both be riding the bus."

That's it for today, my little pickle packers. Remember, you should never burn bridges but you can loosen the bolts a little each day. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !