I got a weekend pass from the home, Friday, so I headed over to AREA 51 at Sabores Restaurant to see my friends Luly and Paul. It was my kind of night in that there were plenty of seats and our group was able to sit comfortably.
Luly brought home made brownies and I brought some Ghirardelli chocolates for the ladies, so along with the goodies and drinks, we were well stocked for the night. The usual neanderthals that are always there stayed in their cages for the most part and everyone had fun.
Fridays always means Karaoke and there are some really good singers in the crowd. Luly and the girls sang a few songs and did a really nice job. I went up a little later in the evening and immediately had a request, but I sang anyway.
The fun thing about our gang is that after a few drinks, everyone starts taking pictures. Moreover, the girls always check to see if they like how the picture came out. If they are not happy with it, we take another until each one is happy. We're talking four girls here, so there were a lot of "do overs".
My friend Paul and I really don't care a lot about the "final" pictures as our particular opinions are usually overlooked and almost always overruled.
The News As I See It: Hillary Clinton told People Magazine that her granddaughter called her "grandma" for the first time on the same night as the first Democratic debate. Then Hillary gazed into her granddaughter's eyes and said, "This is my night, not yours. Pick your moments."
Bernie Sanders, in his interview with People Magazine, said that his grandchildren sometimes call him "Grandpa Bern." Which sounds less like a term of endearment and more like a medical condition. "You've got 'Grandpa Burn.' That's why it hurts when you pee.
Some good news for the White House. They just announced that Obamacare added a million new customers in its third open-enrollment season. They say more people are signing up for healthcare due to the looming deadline, low costs and the sales of hoverboards.
In an interview with People magazine, Obama said that his favorite book of the year was a novel called "Fates and Furies", while Hillary Clinton said her favorite book of the year was "Whatever yours was".
This Date In History: 1642; New Zealand was discovered by Dutch navigator Abel Tasman. 1918; President Wilson arrived in France, becoming the first U.S. president to visit Europe while in office. 1978; The U.S. Mint began stamping the Susan B. Anthony dollar, the first U.S. coin honoring a woman.
1981; The Polish government imposed martial law in an attempt to crush the Solidarity movement. 1989; South African President F. W. de Klerk met with Nelson Mandela for the first time. 1996; Kofi Annan of Ghana chosen to become UN secretary-general.
2000; George W. Bush accepted presidency 36 days after election; Al Gore, Jr., conceded. 2003; American forces captured Saddam Hussein who was hiding in a hole near his hometown of Tikrit.
Picture Of The Day: I brought Ghirardelli chocolates for the ladies.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My cat Samantha was dreaming last night. Based on the noises and twitches coming from her, I think she was fighting off a Korean Chef. 2) How can I be sure I've succeeded if I can't remember what I was trying to do? 3) A liter of Johnnie Walker Black scotch......when you absolutely, positively need to wake up underneath your neighbor's swing-set. 4) Don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles, they actually believed you were the real bus driver. 5) I saw a large bear eating a big lunch from the dumpster at Taco Bell. Then he ran off into the woods, ostensibly to prove a point.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - December 14th: You may become trapped in a cave with a panther and a sound system playing Michael Bolton's greatest hits this week. You can avoid the panther's attack by simply singing along with Michael Bolton but there's no cure from the lingering effects of Bolton's music.
Birthdays: Heinrich Heine, poet 1797, Werner von Siemens, electrical engineer and inventor 1816, Mary Todd Lincoln, wife of President Abraham Lincoln 1818, Emily Carr, painter 1871, Archie Moore, prizefighter 1913, Ross Macdonald, novelist 1915, Dick Van Dyke, actor 1925, Ted Nugent, rock musician 1948, Steve Buscemi, actor 1957, Jamie Foxx, comedian 1967, Amy Lee, singer 1981.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man in a Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him and he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces a ll over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. The trooper says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
The priest replies, "Just water, officer." The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.
The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle, it makes your nose look too short." Love, Grandma.
That's it for today, my little sleigh belles. Remember, kinky is when you bring a feather to use while having sex. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken.
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More on Wednesday.
Stay Tuned !
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