Friday Evening At Sabores Restaurant

I got a weekend pass from the home, Friday, so I headed over to AREA 51 at Sabores Restaurant to see my friends Luly and Paul. It was my kind of night in that there were plenty of seats and our group was able to sit comfortably.

Luly brought home made brownies and I brought some Ghirardelli chocolates for the ladies, so along with the goodies and drinks, we were well stocked for the night. The usual neanderthals that are always there stayed in their cages for the most part and everyone had fun.

Fridays always means Karaoke and there are some really good singers in the crowd. Luly and the girls sang a few songs and did a really nice job. I went up a little later in the evening and immediately had a request, but I sang anyway.

The fun thing about our gang is that after a few drinks, everyone starts taking pictures. Moreover, the girls always check to see if they like how the picture came out. If they are not happy with it, we take another until each one is happy. We're talking four girls here, so there were a lot of "do overs".

My friend Paul and I really don't care a lot about the "final" pictures as our particular opinions are usually overlooked and almost always overruled.

The News As I See It: Hillary Clinton told People Magazine that her granddaughter called her "grandma" for the first time on the same night as the first Democratic debate. Then Hillary gazed into her granddaughter's eyes and said, "This is my night, not yours. Pick your moments."

Bernie Sanders, in his interview with People Magazine, said that his grandchildren sometimes call him "Grandpa Bern." Which sounds less like a term of endearment and more like a medical condition. "You've got 'Grandpa Burn.' That's why it hurts when you pee.

Some good news for the White House. They just announced that Obamacare added a million new customers in its third open-enrollment season. They say more people are signing up for healthcare due to the looming deadline, low costs and the sales of hoverboards.

In an interview with People magazine, Obama said that his favorite book of the year was a novel called "Fates and Furies", while Hillary Clinton said her favorite book of the year was "Whatever yours was".

This Date In History: 1642; New Zealand was discovered by Dutch navigator Abel Tasman. 1918; President Wilson arrived in France, becoming the first U.S. president to visit Europe while in office. 1978; The U.S. Mint began stamping the Susan B. Anthony dollar, the first U.S. coin honoring a woman.

1981; The Polish government imposed martial law in an attempt to crush the Solidarity movement. 1989; South African President F. W. de Klerk met with Nelson Mandela for the first time. 1996; Kofi Annan of Ghana chosen to become UN secretary-general.

2000; George W. Bush accepted presidency 36 days after election; Al Gore, Jr., conceded. 2003; American forces captured Saddam Hussein who was hiding in a hole near his hometown of Tikrit.

Picture Of The Day: I brought Ghirardelli chocolates for the ladies.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My cat Samantha was dreaming last night. Based on the noises and twitches coming from her, I think she was fighting off a Korean Chef. 2) How can I be sure I've succeeded if I can't remember what I was trying to do? 3) A liter of Johnnie Walker Black scotch......when you absolutely, positively need to wake up underneath your neighbor's swing-set. 4) Don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles, they actually believed you were the real bus driver.  5) I saw a large bear eating a big lunch from the dumpster at Taco Bell. Then he ran off into the woods, ostensibly to prove a point.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Sagittarius - December 14th: You may become trapped in a cave with a panther and a sound system playing Michael Bolton's greatest hits this week. You can avoid the panther's attack by simply singing along with Michael Bolton but there's no cure from the lingering effects of Bolton's music.

Birthdays: Heinrich Heine, poet 1797, Werner von Siemens, electrical engineer and inventor 1816, Mary Todd Lincoln, wife of President Abraham Lincoln 1818, Emily Carr, painter 1871, Archie Moore, prizefighter 1913, Ross Macdonald, novelist 1915, Dick Van Dyke, actor 1925, Ted Nugent, rock musician 1948, Steve Buscemi, actor 1957, Jamie Foxx, comedian 1967, Amy Lee, singer 1981.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man in a Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him and he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces a ll over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. The trooper says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

The priest replies, "Just water, officer." The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.

The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle, it makes your nose look too short." Love, Grandma.

That's it for today, my little sleigh belles. Remember, kinky is when you bring a feather to use while having sex. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken.

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A Crazy Karaoke Night At Sabores' Restaurant

Last Friday's karaoke night at Sabores' Restaurant was a little more crazier than usual (the crazier the better) and, as usual, there were lots of pictures. Most of them I was able to buy back but a few escaped me.

I love hanging out with beautiful girls and Friday was no exception. I get a kick out of all the pictures, but there are some behind the scenes pics that are rarely published. Most of the good pics are taken by the girls and then pored over to make sure they meet everyone's approval.

Most of the pictures I take rarely make the cut because, quite frankly, I'm not very good at it. I'm amazed when one of my shots turns out well.

One picture in particular was of my beautiful friends Iliana and Luly. The picture came out very well. Well, truth be told, most of the girls are mischievous and while the elegant photo featured above is breathtaking, this is a picture of the two when no one is posing.

Yes, my friends, the two elegant ladies featured above rarely "strike a pose" when I take pictures. As one can plainly see, they are playing with fried plantain chips (banana chips).

On another night, they coyly posed with Luly's famous chocolate chip cookies. That is, until when I'm in the picture when, once again, they transform into impish little gremlins. I don't protest though. They make my evenings at Sabores memorable.

The News As I See It: Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders introduced a new bill that would make four-year college tuition free. Which was great news, unless you were the student who was just walking out of your graduation.

Sanders made around $2,000 last year for two speeches and a TV appearance, compared to the $25 million the Clintons made. This  makes him the first person in history to run for president just because he really needs the money.

This Date In History: 1647; The first recorded execution of a witch reportedly took place in Massachusetts when Achsah Young was hanged. 1703; St. Petersburg was founded by Czar Peter the Great. 1936; The Queen Mary left England on its maiden voyage, arriving in France four hours later.

1937; Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco opened. 1941; British ships sank the German battleship Bismarck off the coast of France, resulting in the loss of 2,300 lives. 1994; Nobel-prize winning dissident, Alexandr Solzhenitsyn returned to Russia after 20 years in exile.

1996; After a year and a half of bloodshed, Russian President Boris Yeltsin met with the leader of the Chechen rebels and negotiated a cease-fire. 1999; Slobodan Milosevic was indicted by the International War Crimes Tribunal at the Hague for crimes against humanity.

Picture Of The Day: I must admit that I'm in seventh heaven in this picture as the girls decided to have a little fun with me.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I know five people who are clinically insane. I'm two of them. 2) Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it. 3) "Bluetooth or crazy" is a guessing game I play when I see people talking to themselves on the street. I usually guess wrong. 4) Today was so bad, I thought Steven Seagal was starring in it. 5) Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free, friend Chad until the day that little squirrel beat him to death.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - May 27th: An Asian person may appear in your life this week. If you're lucky, it will be a Sushi chef. On the other hand, it may be a lovely young woman. But remember, just because her tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make her spiritual. It's right above the crack of her ass and it translates to "beef with broccoli."

Birthdays: Cornelius Vanderbilt, industrialist, financier 1794, Julia Ward Howe, author and social reformer 1819, Wild Bill Hickok, frontier marshal 1837, Dashiell Hammett, writer 1894, Rachel Louise Carson, biologist, author 1907, John Cheever, novelist 1912, Henry Kissinger, American political scientist and U.S. Secretary of State (1973–77) 1923.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man goes to his doctor's office and says, "I'm sorry doctor, I know this is unusual, but I seem to have lettuce stuck up my ass!"

The doctor says, "Good grief! I'd better take a look."The doctor examines the man and says, "It's even worse and that's just the tip of the iceberg!"

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies injured on the sidewalk as a crowd of on-lookers gathers around. The man gasps, "Somebody get me a priest!"

A policeman checks the crowd and there's no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. Then out of the crowd steps a little old man.

He says, "Mr. Policeman, I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I've been living behind St. Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man."

The policeman agrees and brings the old man over to where the injured man lay. He kneels down, leans over the injured man and says slowly in a solemn voice, "B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72..."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A drunk is sitting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful woman sits down next to him. The drunk, seeing opportunity buys the women a beer and proceeds to hit on her. Then, he asks her, "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?" The woman looks at him and says, "For a million dollars, sure!"

The drunk then asks, "Would you sleep with me for 20 dollars?" The woman is instantly upset and yells, "Twenty dollars, what do you think I am some kind of whore?!" The drunk then looks at her and says, "We have already established that fact, madam, now we're just negotiating the price."

A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.

When the speedometer hits 100, she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off, he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car.

The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. He pleads, "Go get help." She says, "I can't, I'm naked." He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover your snatch with that shoe and go get help."

She takes the shoe, covers herself and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "Help! My boyfriend's stuck!" A drunk sitting nearby looked down at the shoe covering her crotch and replied, "I think it's too late, lady, he's too far in."

Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food and drinks at popular night club prices.

That's it for today, my little chickadees. Remember, don't let maladies and ailments keep you down. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Friday Night At Sabores Restaurant

My Friday night trek to AREA 51 took me to Sabores Restaurant for Karaoke and dancing. I sat with Luly and Paul, Ileana and Sandra. My back was to the stage, but as you can see above, my view was much better.

Luly brought cheesecake and I declined a slice, only to find out the next day, it was a guava cheesecake. I love guava cheesecake. Although Luly made it for her, I now realize why Ileana quietly absconded with the treat later in the night.

As usual, there were many good singers Friday night, including Luly and Carol, both of whom have great voices. As Paul and I concurred, there were also a few whose acts needed work, but it's all in fun and that's all that matters.

Both Ileana and Sandra recently celebrated birthdays and that was really why we were there. As usual, Luly went out of her way in the planning, assuring we had a reserved table. I sang a couple of songs Friday night, as well.

Later in the evening, they played a merengue, a dance I love, and I danced with Luly. During the dance, my brain kept sending me messages that I would pay for this on Saturday. My brain was wrong. I payed Saturday and Sunday!

But it was worth the price! Everyone had fun and we sang and danced. A night with friends is always a memory, especially during the holidays.....

The News As I See It: The White House hosted its annual Hanukkah party and everything was going great until Biden pulled on a rabbi's beard and said, "Hey! You're not Santa."

The U.S. is re-establishing relations with Cuba. But before Obama can lift the embargo, it will need approval from the Republican-controlled Congress — or as Republicans who called Obama said, "Close, but no cigar."

Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.

Economists believe there are three reasons why the Russian economy is doing so poorly. One, economic sanctions are working. Number two, low-price oil. And number three, Lindsay Lohan has quit drinking vodka.
 

This Date In History: 1772; Construction of the first schoolhouse west of the Allegheny Mountains was started in Schoenbrunn, Ohio, by Moravian missionaries. 1807; The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act.

1864; During the Civil War, Union general William T. Sherman sent a message to President Lincoln saying, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah."

1894; French army officer Capt. Alfred Dreyfus was convicted of treason in a court-martial. 1989; Playwright Samuel Beckett died at age 83. 1989; Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu was overthrown. 2001; Hamid Karzai sworn in as president of Afghanistan.

Picture Of The Day: Singing "Going To Chicago Blues".

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I can't figure out why there is an expiration date on croutons and sour cream. 2) Those commercials showing how detergents take out bloodstains lead me to believe that if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. 3) Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 4) At the AREA 51 bar Friday night, the bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my ex-mother-in-law. 5) Every time I walk into AREA 51 for happy hour, I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!".....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Capricorn - December 22nd : Today will start slow, but most Mondays do anyway, so no worries. Cloudy skies will clear and the stars will come out. The moon, like a testicle, hangs low. Signs point toward a great evening and the chance of romance is 72.37 percent.

Birthdays: James Oglethorpe, founder of the American colony of Georgia 1696, Thomas Wentworth Higginson, abolitionist 1823, Giacomo Puccini, composer of operas 1858, Connie Mack, baseball player and manager 1862, Edwin Arlington Robinson, poet 1869, Dame Peggy Ashcroft, actress 1907, Lady Bird Johnson, first Lady 1912, Diane Sawyer, television journalist 1945, Ralph Fiennes, actor 1962, Jordin Sparks, singer 1989.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: During a commercial airline flight an Air Force pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related paraphernalia. When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!"

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said nursing would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears. The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been using chewing gum."

Two male friends are out golfing one Saturday afternoon. After finishing one hole, they wait for the two women who are ahead of them at the next hole to finish. They wait a few minutes, but soon get irritated at the amount of time the women are taking to play the hole.

One of the men decides that enough is enough. He tells his friend, "I'm going to go up there and tell those two to hurry up!" He starts walking towards the women but after getting halfway there, he returns to his friend.

His friend asks, "What's wrong?" The other man replies, "I can't go over there. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress." His friend tells him, "That's okay, I'll go talk to them."

He too starts walking towards the women but after getting halfway there, he too returns to his friend. He tells his friend, "Small world..."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. The nurse said, "No, I'm sorry, but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

The attorney began complaining and insulting the nurse, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She leaves the door to his room open on her way out!

He continues cursing at the nurse as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room and says "What's going on here?" The attorney snottily answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?" After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation."

A couple is skinny dipping in a lake and when they return to shore, they discover that pranksters have stolen their clothes and blanket. Embarrassed, the couple run to their car and began driving back to their home.

The boyfriend is so busy trying to drive and console his nervous girlfriend that he crashes the car into a tree outside of a neighborhood bar and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat.

He tells his girlfriend to go inside the bar and get help and she replied that she couldn't because she didn’t have any clothes on. He replies, "Take my shoe, cover your breasts with one hand, your pubic area with the shoe, and get help!"

She takes the shoe and runs into the bar. Inside, the bar is almost deserted with the exception of the town drunk. She runs over to the drunk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The drunks replies, "I’m sorry lady, but I think he's too far in."

That's it for today, my little candy canes. Remember, you can have the body of a twenty-five year old, providing you buy her a few drinks first.

More on Wednesday.

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An Evening With Friends At Sabores Restaurant

 

I enjoyed myself Friday night at Sabores Restaurant with my friends Luly, Paul and Ileana. Luly brought chocolate chip cookies which went quite well with my scotch. There were a number of pictures taken and I have included a few in today's post.

Alas, when I went to my car to get my good camera, I had some problems and ended up having to cut the evening early with car problems. As of today, I haven't been able to solve the problem, We've established it's an electrical problem and, as it stands, my mechanic won't  be able to do anything until next week.

I was watching a rerun of Ground Hog Day last night and it reminded me of a ski trip to Heavenly Valley in Lake Tahoe. Chevy Chase runs into Ned Ryerson, a high school chum turned insurance salsman in the early part of the movie. He subsequently steps into a pothole ladened with freezing ice water He continues to step in the same pothole as the comedy continues to repeat.

I find this more humerous than most people in that I did the same thing in 1984, dressed in street shoes, as we went to a local restaurant for dinner. The Deja Vu part came at Lake Tahoe in 1985 when I stepped into the same ice ladened pothole, at the same exact restaurant.....

The News As I See It: The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.

New York City has 2 million rats. They say they used to have 8 million rats. Now there down to 2 million. You know what that means? They lose four electoral votes.

It was a great day for the great state of Texas. The last person being tested for Ebola has come back clean. So Texas is now Ebola free. This was a big week for them. They're now free of Ebola and Democrats.

Democrats in state legislatures are at their lowest level since the 1920s. President Obama has a can't-miss strategy to save the party in 2016. He's leaving.

NBC Sports will air a special that follows Tom Brokaw as he goes pheasant hunting in South Dakota. He doesn't even shoot them. He just talks to them for two minutes until they go to sleep.
 

Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe

This Date In History: 1871; Journalist and explorer Henry Stanley found the missing David Livingstone in Central Africa and made his famous comment, "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"

1928; Hirohito was crowned Emperor of Japan. 1951; The first long distance telephone call without operator assistance took place.

1969; Sesame Street premiered on PBS TV. 1970; The Great Wall of China opened to the world for tourism. 1982; The Vietnam Veterans Memorial opened in Washington, DC.

Picture Of The Day: Gotta love the puppy !

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My uncle used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got him fired. 2) She said that she had been married three times. I could tell it was more than that by the rice marks on her face. 3) Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish. Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand.

4) My grandfather was hard of hearing. He needed to read lips. I didn’t mind him reading lips, but he used one of those yellow highlighters. 5) Political correctness is a useless theorem that allows the few to endanger the many. It is only necessary when being polite to ugly babies and women.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Scorpio - November 10th: Just because it's Monday doesn't mean your day won't go well. By the same token, the lottery is not written for you in the stars either. Just take the bird in the hand and forget about the two in the bush. Chance of romance is 17.35 percent.

Birthdays: My niece Sommer and my friend Francine - Happy Birthday ladies! 19XX, Martin Luther, German leader of the Protestant Reformation 1483, William Hogarth, painter, satirist, engraver 1697, Oliver Goldsmith, author 1730, Samuel Gridley Howe, reformer and philanthropist 1801, Claude Rains, actor 1889, J. P. Marquand, novelist 1893, Richard Burton, actor 1925, Russell Means, activist, actor 1939, Donna Fargo, singer 1945, Ann Reinking, dancer, choreographer, and actor 1949, Roland Emmerich, filmaker 1955, Neil Gaiman, writer 1960 Brittany Murphy, actress 1977.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, Her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

One morning a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow that is one ugly baby." The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man.

The man asks "What's wrong you look mad?" She replied "I am, that bus driver just insulted me." The man replied, "You shouldn't take that from him. He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take down his badge number and report him."

The woman said, "You're right sir I think I will report him." The old man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number and I'll hold your monkey for you."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of your stick, we'd both be riding the bus."

 A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing his sentence, he turned to see the man standing right behind him. Not missing a beat, he continued, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

That's it for today, my little pea pickers. Remember, as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

More on Wednesday.

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