Anthony Weiner - The Epitome Of Arrogance

Former congressman and current New York City Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner has had even more photographs released about his sexting scandal. Weiner posed as a man named "Carlos Danger" while sending pornographic photos of himself through the Internet — after he resigned from Congress for doing just that. New Yorkers were so shocked that Eliot Spitzer fell off his hooker.

Weiner responded to new sexting allegations on Tuesday following claims from nightlife website "The Dirty" that the former congressman had engaged in sex chats with a 22-year-old woman in 2012." The Dirty" has released what they claim is an exclusive photo of Weiner's, ahem, goods.

Weiner, the repulsive, uncontrolled, power-hungry publicity hound has humiliated himself and his wife by continue his recent actions, knowing there was material out there even worse than the stuff that got him ousted from Congress.

Just for the record, Eliot Spitzer says he has not paid for prostitutes since he resigned as New York governor in 2008. Way to go client number nine.....

The News As I See It: NASA released pictures of earth taken from 900 miles away. From 900 miles away, you can make out the Great Wall of China. In Newark, you can make out New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.

In England, the royal baby has been named George Alexander Louis and has left the hospital. He will now go to one of the royal estates, where he will rest comfortably — for the next 80 years. This royal baby is third in line for the throne, to which Prince Charles said, "It's a really slow-moving line."

The royal baby was officially welcomed with a 62-gun salute. Because if there's one thing babies love, it's the sound of repeated artillery fire. Experts are predicting that the royal baby could pump $380 million into the British economy. So the question is: How do we get this kid to move to Detroit?

Obama has issued a statement about the royal baby. He told him to hang on to the birth certificate. Those things come in handy.

Detroit has become the largest city in U.S. history to file for bankruptcy. What happened was Detroit's population dropped something like 70 percent, but the government got bigger. The tax base got smaller, but the government got bigger. Thank God that kind of thing could never happen in Washington.

This Date In History: 1847; Brigham Young and the first members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) arrived at the Great Salt Lake. 1862; Martin Van Buren, the eighth president of the United States, died in Kinderhook, New York.

1866; Tennessee became the first Confederate state to be readmitted to the Union. 1937; Charges against five black men accused of raping two white women in the Scottsboro case were dropped.

1974; The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President Richard Nixon had to turn over White House tapes to the Watergate special prosecutor.

2002; Nine coal miners were trapped in a mine in Pennsylvania. All were rescued three days later. 2005; Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France for a record-breaking seventh time.

Picture Of The Day: The Aescher Hotel in Appenzellerland, Switzerland.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My girlfriend said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks. 2) Yesterday I fell, landed on my back and could not roll over and get up. I think it was because I was wearing a turtleneck sweater. 3) My uncle was a world-famous chainsaw juggler....for one show. 4) Waitress: How do I like your eggs? Me: Scrambled, how about you? Waitress: Unfertilized, thanks. 5) I don't mind your bad kids running around if you don't mind me tripping them.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Leo - July 24th: Old wives tales aren't recollections of sexual conquests. If you never liked sprouts before, try them again. Your tastes may have changed.

Birthdays: My pals Jude and Tammy - Happy Birthday ladies! 19XX, Simon Bolivar, liberator 1783, Alexandre Dumas, novelist 1802, Amelia Earhart, American aviator 1897, Bella Abzug, Congresswoman 1920, Jennifer Lopez, actress 1969.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An older man's daughter asked why he didn't do something useful with his time. She suggested he go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. The old man did this and when he got home, he told her that he had joined a parachute club.

She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 70 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" He proudly showed her that he even got a membership card. She said to him,"Dad, where are your glasses? This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

The old man said, "Well, I'm in trouble now! I signed up for five jumps a week!

Two psychiatrists were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes. The leader said, "Just to establish some parameters, Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" The student said, "Sadness."

The leader continued, "And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" Mr. Biggs said, "Elation."

The leader turned to Bubba and said, "And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?" Bubba replied, "I believe that would be giddyup."
 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck."

The husband continued, "If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

His wife responded, "He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared in front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked "Aren't you afraid of me?" The man answered, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "I been married to your sister for 48 years."

That's it for today, my little puppies. Remember, when you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

Why No Safe Rooms In Moore Oklahoma School?

The recent tragedy and loss of life caused by the massive tornadoes in Moore, Oklahoma leads me to ask why one of the schools did not have a tornado shelter or "safe rooms". Some have pointed to the cost,  but these towns and cities could and should have started putting money away after the May 2nd, 1999 tornado.

(The paths of destruction of the May 2nd, 1999, tornado ((above left)) taken by tornadoes from the air over Moore and a view of the May 21st, 2013 path).

At the very least, if the city has able bodied men who own shovels, half the battle has been won. Digging a hole, pouring a foundation, erecting walls and roofing same are not costly, in retrospect, when you compare it to the pain of the injuries and lives lost by having nothing.

Perhaps there will be lessons learned from these devastating tornadoes and the heartaches that accompany them. My heart and prayers go out to the victims and families of this horrible disaster.

On a side note, reports are that some looting has already occurred in the stricken city of Moore. As far as I'm concerned, looters should be shot on sight.

The News As I See It: Anthony Weiner has announced that he is running for mayor of New York City. Aside from further proving he is a complete asshole by even contemplating the idea, it shows he has balls.....which I assume will be shown in his future tweets.

The $590 million Powerball jackpot over the weekend produced one winner. It was the biggest single jackpot since Tiger Woods' divorce. It turns out the winning ticket was apparently sold in a town called Zephyrhills, Florida. In a related story, Florida residents are getting an unusual volume of calls from their grandkids today.

Obama has had a rough couple of weeks with the big Benghazi scandal, the IRS scandal and the phone tapping scandal. Despite the scandals, 53 percent of Americans say they approve of the job he's doing. The other 47 percent are being audited.

The White House scandals are not going away any time soon. I’ll tell you how bad it’s looking for Obama. People in Kenya are now saying he’s 100 percent American.

Justin Bieber received multiple honors at the Billboard Music Awards. He won for best male artist. I can count three lies in the title of that award. Bieber actually said he's an artist.....in the same way the guy that makes my turkey sandwich at subway is an artist.

A Georgia college student was worried that his parents would be mad at him for flunking English. So he tried to fake his own kidnapping. The parents figured it out when the ransom note said, "We has your son."

Lamborghini is celebrating its 50th anniversary. Lamborghini is so freaked out by turning 50, it just bought itself a Lamborghini.

The heat wave is continuing. Today I was sweating like Obama at a news conference. There are warnings this could be a long, hot summer and they are telling everyone to cover up. You don't have to tell the Obama White House twice. They know all about covering up. 

This Date In History: 1455; The first battle in the 30-year War of Roses took place at St. Albans. 1761; The first life insurance policy in the United States was issued in Philadelphia. 1849; Abraham Lincoln received patent number 6469 for his floating dry dock.

1927; An earthquake near Xining, China, measuring 8.3 claimed approximately 200,000 victims. 1947; Harry S. Truman's Doctrine brought aid to Greece and Turkey to combat the spread of Communism. 1972; Ceylon became Sri Lanka.

1972; Richard Nixon arrived in Moscow, becoming the first U.S. president to visit the Soviet Union. 1990; North Yemen and South Yemen merged to form the Republic of Yemen. 1992; Johnny Carson hosted the last episode of his Tonight Show. 2003; The UN Security Council approved a resolution lifting the economic sanctions against Iraq and supporting the U.S.-led administration in Iraq.

2011; At least 140 people are killed and hundreds more injured as a three-quarter-mile-wide tornado hits Joplin, Missouri. The tornado is among the deadliest in the nation's history, destroying nearly a third of the city and damaging about 2,000 buildings, including water treatment and sewage plants. 2012; Tokyo Skytree, which at 634 meters high is the tallest tower in the world, opened to the public.

Picture Of The Day: Pals.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant. 2) When my girlfriend wants my opinion, she'll give it to me. 3) Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing, but definitely puts a smile on your face. 4) I try to avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road, just in case they're in the middle of a race. 5) I bought a thesaurus at the store today. I brought it home and found that all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am......and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - May 22nd: The post-office is going to be lucky for you this week as a mystery package arrives for you that, for once, is neither ticking nor covered in mysterious powder. Loving care is something that people write on shampoo bottles. What you need is to go out for a few drinks.

Birthdays: Richard Wagner, composer 1813, Mary Cassatt, painter 1844, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, British author, creator of Sherlock Holmes 1859, Sir Laurence Olivier, actor 1907, Betty Williams, peace activist 1943.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A wife suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. The woman says, "Who is this?" A woman answers, "This is the maid." The wife says, "We don't have a maid."

The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house." The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" The maid replied, "He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife."

The woman is fuming. She says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" The maid says, "What will I have to do?" The woman tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the bastard and the witch he's with."

The maid puts the phone down and the woman hears footsteps and then gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?" The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

Puzzled, the maid answers, "There's no pool here." A long pause and the woman says, "Is this 555-4821?"

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?" The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He says you were speeding!"

The patrolman says, "May I see your license?" The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave the officer her license.

The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen." The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He said he knows you!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned, her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and daddy came into the room with the lady next door. Then, they got undressed and got into your bed and then daddy got on top of her..."

Sonny's mother held up her hand and said, "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you've just told me."

The father came home. As he walked into the house, his wife said, "I'm leaving you. I'm packing now and I'm leaving you." The startled father said, But, why?" The wife said, "Go ahead, Sonny. Tell daddy just what you told me."

Sonny said, "Well. I was playing in your bedroom closet and daddy came upstairs with the lady next door. Then, they got undressed and got into bed and daddy got on top of her and then they did just what you did with Uncle John when daddy was away last summer."

When asked by a young patrol officer, "Do You know you were speeding?", an 83-year-old woman gave the young officer an ear to ear smile and stated, "Yes, but I had to get there before I forgot where I was going."

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

The trooper says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" The priest says, "Just water." The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"  

That's it for today, my little mumble bees. Remember, a bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. AREA 51 is my destination for happy hour.

That's it for now. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

Weinergate

It seems that arrogant, loudmouth Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY) may be in deep trouble for allegedly sending a lewd picture of himself to 21 year-old coed Gennette Cordova of Seattle, Washington. For those of you who have seen this rude asshole in television interviews, you know it couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy.

The online drama began Friday when a lewd photo appeared in Weiner's Twitter stream addressed to Cordova but visible to all 40,000 of his Twitter followers. The photo was a crotch shot of a man in form-fitting briefs that left little to the imagination. The tweet was noticed by some of his followers and the link was forwarded.

Weiner has been on the defensive ever since. He states his account was hacked. Cordova denies any relationship with the congressman. So, why is this incident turning in to a scandal?

Among the original 91 people the congressman followed, many were young women, including Cordova. The picture link was sent to Cordova, who lives in the Seattle area and just before the picture link was sent, the congressman tweeted a comment that referred to Seattle. A timeline prepared by one blogger illustrates the Twitter behavior as was visible publicly. The congressman's current Twitter stream clearly shows he was using Twitter just before the picture link was sent and right after.

CNN’s Dana Bash tracked Weiner down for an improvised Q&A and seemed to be the central reporter at Weiner's press briefing on Capitol Hill. If you haven’t seen this train wreck of a media event, please check it out, because the defensive and irritable Weiner (call your doctor if condition persists) only added fuel to the fire with his petulant behavior, rather than fulfilling his wish that this "distraction" would just go away.

In an MSNBC interview today, Weiner said that he did not send the photo. When asked whether the photo was of him, he said he could not confirm or deny with certainty. Furthermore, he has not yet asked the Capitol Police or the FBI to investigate the alleged hacking, a federal offense. Hmmm....

Weiner, who is Jewish, is married to Huma Abedin, a Muslim. Oy Vey! Build a wall fast, Weinermouth. To paraphrase Ricky Ricardo, "Wienie, you got a lot of 'splaining to do!"

The News As I See It: Donald Trump had dinner with Sarah Palin had dinner in New York. The first thing Palin did when she walked into the restaurant was shoot the rodent off his head.

The Supreme Court has upheld Arizona's law which penalizes employers for hiring workers who are in the country illegally. In a related story, in Phoenix, a head of lettuce now costs 137 dollars.

Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with his maid. She kept the child secret for 14 years. John Edwards is going, "Why can't I meet a chick like that?"

President Obozo visited a bar in Ireland last week and drank Guinness. I know it's not great for kids to see the president drinking alcohol, but in his defense, beer goes great with a cigarette.

Sarah Palin may run for President. Doesn’t that thought make you nostalgic for last week when you only thought the world was going to end? Palin has begun a nationwide bus tour, which is a good way for her to learn the names of all the states.

This Date In History: 1792; Kentucky became the 15th state in the United States. 1796; Tennessee became the 16th state in the United States. 1938; The first issue of Action Comics, featuring Superman, was published. 1958; General Charles De Gaulle became the premier of France.

1968; Helen Keller, blind and deaf author-lecturer, died. 1980; Cable News Network (CNN) debuted. 2001; Crown Prince Dipendra of Nepal wiped out most of the royal family before shooting himself.

Picture Of The Day: The pics in order: Top - Weiner is interviewed. Second: Gennette Cordova. Third: Mr. and Mrs. Weiner. Fourth: Budweiser.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A democrat is just a republican that hasn't been mugged yet. 2) There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot". 3) I saw a big breasted woman wearing a sexy tee shirt with the word "Guess" on it, so I said, "Implants?" 4) A man that stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him is still wrong. 5) Teach a child to be polite and courteous and when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto the expressway.....and that's five !

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Gemini - June 1st: Just as small peppers are supposed to be the hottest, there may be a small person who's ready to heat up your life. Watch out for the seeds though - they can cause problems. A singles bar may be a surprising place for love to strike today. Of course, you'll leave without getting each others phone numbers or having any chance of meeting again because they just arrived on a cruise ship and don't live anywhere near. Love is like that sometimes.

Birthdays: Jacques Marquette, French missionary and explorer in North America, a Jesuit priest 1637, Brigham Young, religious leader 1801, Francis Edgar Stanley, inventor, manufacturer 1849, William Sloane Coffin, Jr., social activist 1924, Marilyn Monroe, actress 1926, Morgan Freeman, actor 1937.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An old man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself. He says, "May I buy you a cocktail?" Maxine replies, "No, thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs." The man says, "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?" Maxine says, "No, they spread."

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I can fart the star spangled banner in any key you want....for a drink." The bartender says, "You can fart the national anthem in any key? Hell, I will give you three drinks for that!" The drunk says, "Ok, what key?" The bartender says, "Do it in A flat."

The drunk makes two people move from their stools and gets up on the bar, drops his pants around his ankles and bends over. He gets red faced and then shits all over the bar. The bartender is pissed! He says, "What the hell are you doing?" The drunk says, "Hey, gimme a break, even Frank Sinatra had to clear his throat before he performed!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words "complete" and "finished" in a way that's so easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between complete and finished, but there is. When you marry the right one, you are complete. When you marry the wrong one, you are finished. When the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished!

Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running, reaches the edge and into the wind he goes! Meanwhile, his Ma and Pa were sittin' on the porch swing talkin' bout the good ol' days when Ma spots the biggest bird she ever seen!

Ma says, "Pa, look at the size of that bird! Pa gets up and grabs his 12 gauge shotgun. He takes careful aim and.....Boom! Boom! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops. Ma says, "Pa, I think ya missed him. Pa replies, "Yeah, but at least he let go of Bubba!"

A cowboy and his new bride check into a motel. The cowboy explains to the desk clerk that they were just married that morning. The clerk asks, "Would you like the bridal?" The cowboy answers, "No, thanks, I’ll just hold her by the ears until she gets the hang of it."

That's it for today my little sugar plums. Remember, follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work. I hear the faint call of happy hour in the distance. Think I'll head over to AREA 51. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !