Bill Clinton Joins In On Criticizing Obama’s Internet Plans

Former President Bill Clinton is among those who are skeptical of the new Obama administration plan to give up Internet oversight authority. Clinton talked in some detail about why the U.S. should retain oversight over Internet domain names and addresses during a panel at a weekend meeting sponsored by the Clinton Global Initiative.

Noting that the Edward Snowden revelations of National Security Agency data collections has given “new energy” to the belief internationally that the U.S. should not even be in "nominal control of domain names," Clinton argued that the U.S. has still done a pretty good job of keeping the Internet open and free. (Authors Note: Aside from the obvious fact that the United States built and paid for the Internet).

Clinton said, " A lot of people have been trying to take this authority from the U.S. for the sole purpose of cracking down on Internet freedom and limiting it and having governments protect their backsides instead of empowering their people."

Opponents of the Obama administration’s plan, mostly Republicans, so far, are likely to cheer the former president’s remarks, since they too have some concerns about giving up what little control the U.S. has over the Internet. Clinton’s remarks may make it that much harder for the Obama administration to say their plan has widespread support.

The News As I See It: In March Madness, there have been several major upsets. Yesterday No. 12 seed Harvard beat No. 5 seed Cincinnati. Harvard students haven't been this excited since the last time they told someone they go to Harvard. They had a good game plan. When they committed a foul, their dad called the ref and got them out of it.

Google announced last night that it will launch a new security feature to make it harder for situations like the NSA spying program to happen in the future. Then they went back to driving around and taking pictures of the street you live on.

Next on CNN: 600 more hours of guessing what happened to the plane.

Lawmakers in New York are considering a plan to bring slot machines to LaGuardia Airport. Of course there's always that other way to gamble at LaGuardia – checking a bag.

This Date In History: 1603; Queen Elizabeth I died at age 69 after ruling England for more than 40 years. 1872; the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. 1873; the British somewhat refined the Arab idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

1882; Robert Koch announced the discovery of the tuberculosis bacillus. 1949; Laurence Olivier's Hamlet became the first British film to win an Oscar. 1958; Rock 'n' roll star Elvis Presley joined the U.S. army for two years.

1989; In one of worst oil spills in recent history, the tanker, Exxon Valdez, ran aground and released 240,000 barrels of oil into Prince William Sound. 1999; NATO begins launching air strikes in an attempt to force Serbia to cease hostilities against ethnic Albanians in Kosovo.

2002; Halle Berry became the first African-American actress to win a best actress Oscar and Denzel Washington became the second African-American actor to get the best actor award.

2004; The notorious Bird family's more than half-century stronghold on the nation of Antigua and Barbuda came to an end when Baldwin Spencer won the post of prime minister in the general election.

Picture Of The Day: The rare Florida Panther and cub in the wild. An endangered species, I have only seen one pair in the wild. Needless to say, I did not hang around for a long look......

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. 2) Media, stop using the phrase "Breaking News". It's been broken for some time now. 3) I just spent ten minutes waving back to a girl in a storefront window before I realized she was just cleaning the glass. 4) I said to my girlfriend's identical twin sister, "I know what you look like naked." 5) The worst time to need sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee it when you’re driving and need to sneeze.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aries - March 24th: The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like. Something will stir your memory today and it may take a few hours for you to resolve your sense of deja vu. Why not test yourself by not eating pizza or drinking beer. Personally, I don't care. I'm having a slice of pizza and an ice cold beer. 

Birthdays: Georgius Agricola, father of mineralogy 1494, John Wesley Powell, geologist and ethnologist 1834, William Morris, designer 1834, Edward Weston, photographer 1886, Harry Houdini, American magician and writer 1874, Thomas Dewey, politician 1902, Steve McQueen, actor 1930, Peyton Manning, football player 1976.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two black guys are talking and one says, "I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as president before Obama. His friend asks, "You like him more than Obama?" 

The first man said, "Oh, hell yeah!  He's smarter, plays the sax, smokes weed and his way with ugly white women. Even now, look at him. His wife works, he doesn't and, he gets a check from the government every month."
 

Two men are approaching each other on a pavement in Georgia. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.

As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."

The other man nods, hooks his thumb behind him and says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married fifty years and there's something I have to know. In all of these fifty years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these fifty years, but always for a good reason." Henry asked, "Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reason'?"

Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home. But, what about the second time?"

Martha said, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't ave the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge." Henry said, "I recall that and you did it to save my life so, of course, I can forgive you for that. Now, tell me about the third time."

Martha said, "Alright. Do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club and you needed 73 more votes?"

If you don't understand, ask a senior citizen
 

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, '"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

 A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?" The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, 'Beats the shit out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?

That's it for today, my little meadow larks. Remember, if pulled over, immediately ask the police officer if he's been drinking. This establishes dominance.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

I Miss Bill Clinton

Today is Bill Clinton's birthday. Ol' Bill was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President. He played the sax, he smoked weed and he had his way with ugly white women.

Even now, his wife works and he doesn't and he gets a check from the government every month. Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America 's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada . When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."

The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be and nothing but what I think you need to know." Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do hanky panky between the Bushes."

Of course, we now have Hillary Clinton marching towards the 2016 democratic nomination, behind the fanfare of the liberal, ass kissing media. CNN and NBC already have a Hillary movie and three part documentary in the works.

Hillary will have her hands full trying to control the Benghazi scandal and concealing the acts of Huma Abedin, one of Hillary's top aides and wife of New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner. Abedin is facing renewed scrutiny over her work as a consultant for outside clients while serving at the State Department.

And, as always, we have the usual suspects lining up for the republican nomination who have the combined personalty of a carrot. One standout candidate according to the polls is Tubby Chris Christie who I think is rino (republican in name only) and is more obnoxious than Obama.

The News As I See It: The Republican National Committee says if NBC and CNN don't pull plans for the biased, hyped Hillary Clinton miniseries and movie, they won't hold any Republican debates on those networks. That works for me! Now if we could just get the Democrats to pull their debates, we wouldn't have to watch any of that crap.

Obama recently met with the prime minister of Greece at the White House. When he heard the leader of Greece was there, Joe Biden said, "John Travolta's here?"

This Date In History: 1812; The U.S. frigate Constitution, Old Ironsides, defeated the British ship Guerriere during the War of 1812. 1934; Germans voted to make Adolf Hitler Fuhrer.

1960; American U-2 pilot Francis Gary Powers was convicted of espionage in Moscow. 1977; Comedian Groucho Marx died in Los Angeles at age 86.

2003; U.N. special representative Sergio Vieira de Mello was one of 22 killed when a suicide car bomb struck the UN's Baghdad headquarters.

Picture Of The Day: Now I've seen some big 'gators in my time while fishing, swimming and camping in the Florida Everglades. But this bad boy was caught in Georgia and tipped the scales at over 1100 pounds. You will never see any alligator wrestler even consider getting in the circle with a guy this big.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I bought a new stick deodorant and the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom." I can barely walk but when I pass gas, the room smells lovely. 2) It's been said that eating red meat increases your chances of dying by 13%. Great, now I have a 113% chance of dying. 3) In school, my report card always said I was not living up to my full potential. The joke's on them. That really was as good as I was going to get. 4) I just saw that my girlfriend was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair. 5) Chinese food: $16.72 Gas to get to restaurant: $3.00 Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your food containers: Riceless.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Leo - August 19th: Your appetite may increase as the doctors finally remove the scissors they left inside you during your last operation. Life can be as romantic as you wish to make it. Like the old saying goes, "a man with three fish has enough in his heart to help him build a picnic chair."

Birthdays: My pals Carlene and Ron - Happy Birthday 19XX, John Dryden, poet, dramatist and critic 1631, Orville Wright, aviation pioneer 1871, Coco Chanel, fashion designer 1883, Ogden Nash, poet 1902, Malcolm Forbes, publisher 1919, Willie Shoemaker, jockey 1931, William Jefferson Clinton, 42nd President of the United States. He was born William Jefferson Blythe III in Hope, Arkansas. His father died before he was born and he took the name of his stepfather 1946, Matthew Perry, actor 1969.

Meteora, Greece

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: During these serious and trying times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths: 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people. 2. Jews do not recognize Christ as the Messiah. 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world. 4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store.

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his  attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knocking, there's no paper on this side either!"
 

My pal Wally sent me this picture of a bar for serious beer drinkers

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one.. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!"

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket. Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "No, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog." (With age comes wisdom).

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks, "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" He replied, "Definitely not!" His wife asked, "Why not? Don't you like being married?" He answered, "Of course I do." The wife said, "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" The husband said, "Okay, okay, I'd get married again." With a hurt look, she said, "You would?"

His wife inquired, "Would you live in our house?" He answered, "Sure, it's a great house." She asked, "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" The husband replied, "Where else would we sleep?" She continued, "Would you let her drive my car?" He said, "Probably, it is almost new."

The wife asked, "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" He said, "That would seem like the proper thing to do." She asked, "Would you give her my jewelry?" He answered, "No, I'm sure she'd want her own." His wife asked, "Would she use my golf clubs?" Her husband replied, "No, she's left-handed."

That's it for today, my little goslings. Remember, one reason babies cry on planes is because flying is scary. Babies aren’t liars like you and I.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !